They Were Hazel
I remember my first real crush.
He looked liked Kurt Cameron. He had these incredible hazel eyes when I stood up from orientation. I had never seen eyes so magnetic.
He smiled and said hello to me. I'm telling you it was wonderful. I was 14. I liked that same guy for 4 years.

Oddly enough I think the way he treated me while I attended school their totally molded my idea husband. He was what you call incredibly sweet. He would buy me lunch, get stuff for me, talk to me and so forth. Then he had ideas about his future, about working, having a family, and an amazing desire to attend this Christian college.

I guess I came to expect that I would marry a good looking hard working guy who is generous, loving, fun and loves Christ.

I remember this one day I was walking back to class and he was in the chapel playing the below song on the piano. I felt something when he played that song, something so close to heaven.

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longs after Thee.

You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee.

You alone are my strength, my shield,
To You alone may my spirit yield.

You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee.

As the deer panteth after the water brooks,
so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

Relationships Can Make You Fat?
They have this article up on MSN about how being in a relationship kind of fizzles out trying to stay thin. That women generally get so comfortable with their weight that they blow up.

Now personally, I only eat when I'm depressed, not comfortable.
And when I like a guy I generally lose weight really quick because you have to look good. In some cases I've literally lost my appetite because I was full with how I felt about that guy.

Once again I think science is making excuses on why people turn to food. I have never met a sincerely happy over weight female. Since I was over weight my teenage years, I guarantee I didn't eat because I was comfortable, but because food was comforting.

Food doesn't talk back, it's there when you want it and there when you don't. It will hardly ever disappoint you, that's why women gain weight. That's why some guys gain weight---they can rely on food instead of their girlfriend.

As a girl I know when a guy I liked has let me down I do eat, but I try not to over do it because I know being fat isn't pretty on me.

I think just being liked as a friend or even feeling attractive makes one want to look good. Even as silly as my guy friend's are they like me from the inside out even if they aren't attracted to me. That keeps off my weight too.

Right now I'm feeling pretty good--

10 Things I Hate About You
Mood:  hug me
Topic: How Do You Feel About Me?
So today I forwarded this quiz called 10 Things I Hate/Like??? About You based on that movie 10 Things I Hate About You.

I guess I sent it out because the cool thing about quizes is you can be honest like through the whole thing b/c no one takes them that seriously. I did mean what I said in my forwards. There are always those things you never think about until your asked, then you 're are like wow, I didn't know I felt like that.

So in honor of the movie that I thought was pointless till I saw it below is the 10 Things Kat--the main character hated about the guy she liked...


KAT
I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.

She pauses, then continues.


KAT
(continuing)
I hate it...
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh;
Even worse when you make me cry.

She begins to cry as she continues to read.

KAT
(continuing)
I hate it when you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call,
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you;
Not even close;
Not even a little bit;
Not even at all.


It's weird how you feel something one minute and you wish you could change it all the next.