Take a Peek inside TK's Head and Cower in Fear

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Adventures of the TK | New Adventures of the TK | The TK Strikes Back | Interim

DISCLAIMER TK's Adventures is not an accurate representation of the important aspects of the TK's life, and no offense is intended by leaving out real people, places and things. Important events are replaced by trivial matters, such as what the TK had for lunch and the havoc it caused on the way out. The aforementioned unmentioned details are not insignificant, and complaints will be dealt with violently.

12-15-02
I finally uploaded pics of my baby, my kit, and that pic and video clip from 9-29 (go check out that post if you really wanna see). That's about it. TK out.

12-14-02
My moneymaking schemes are somewhat successful already...I won a $5 bet over some Jamaican guestbook, earned 35 cents by eating a chunk of wasabi (the stuff's not so bad as sweet-n-low shooters), and I got a quarter from fittin' a whole fudgesicle in my mouth (and maybe it's sad that I deepthroated it like a pro...). Still, it can't beat snorting lines of pixy stix - seriously, I was phlegming in high definition color. Well, my brother has dubbed me his 'prank monkey' - I get money to amuse his simple mind with stupid human tricks. And he thinks he has the better end of the bargain. I think we all know who the real dumbass is. TK out.

12-12-02
<Krusty>Hey hey hey!</Krusty> One more exam. No worries...that's the most painless way to do it. I think the 'worry' section of my brain went into overdrive and short-circuited. Good thing for me. Bad thing for the GPA. But if that organic book was puttin' my legs to sleep just sitting there, think what it'd do to my head if I actually tried reading it.

My little eBay business is running smoothly - however, I'm only in the buying stage at the moment. (And the pocket screams 'ouuuuuuch!') But it's gettin' there. Soon I can add to the Spaun fund, Star Wars fund, and capuchin monkey fund.

One last thing...KENNY'S BACK, BABY!

TK out.

11-23-02
Spaun...*drool* I'm off in dreamland again (did I ever leave?) thinking of my future lover. A 100% birch 7-piece with die cast hoops in a 3-tone gray/turquoise/black satin fade...or make that some kind of hi-gloss blue burst. Yes, it does matter what it looks like, and yes, I am that shallow. Mind spins, time flies, and TK's dreams creep into the realm of insanity. And she's lovin' it. *screech*(Bizzyismyspawn!Bizzyismyspawn!)*screech*

11-19-02

To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
What would it take for you to eat human flesh?

Never - you'd have to knock me out & feed me intravenously.
$100,000,000
I'd eat it for a cool ten grand.
I'd do it for a quarter.
I'd do it on a dare.
I'd do it for dinner.

10-31-02
Do you ever find yourself walking in time to the music? Maybe music you don't even like. Music coming from inside cars with open windows, dorms, random people on the street. I do. I keep noticing that whenever I hear music I change my step to walk inside the beat. I can't get out of it - I'm always walking to someone else's beat.

*groan* A whole lotta organic homework I probably won't do and a boring eco class. In that class we're learning - scratch that, we're being taught...that organisms' sole purpose is to reproduce to pass on genes. Every organism. I hear people discussing...well, people...and how they don't get it on just to pass on their genes. "They" don't think about things like that. But's it's kinda funny in a way, because a lot of them really do. Except they're worse. Anyone else but a human would be plenty happy to have offspring, but a human's gotta be picky about it. Male preferably, to pass on the family name - name's make things too complicated; I have a hard enough time trying to remember a first. I know this doesn't go for the majority of humans, but still...don't go raggin' on the animals like humans are all perfect. Hey, somebody's gotta stick up for 'em, dumb bastards.

So bipolar was found rotting on his couch, literally. Somewhere in there he got out of jail to wait for trial and croaked. It's hard to feel sorry for guy though, and uh...it might be sad that I don't feel guilty for feeling that way. Sadder that I'm feelin' pretty good about the prospect of bein' able to buy sick stuff off him real cheap. Ugh.

Random guy moved in at home - so I haven't been there in a while. Need to go soon though - 70th birthday party, extravagance like crazy. I mean a real dress-up kinda party with those fancy clear plastic plates, hundreds of people, catering...(or a cheater version, if I know the Ace-man). But hey, if you're into that, I say go for it while ya still can. I'm not sick, I'm really not. But you sure as hell don't have as much time as ya did 20 years ago, that's for sure...yeah, state the obvious. Brilliant. Eh, it's about time for laundry anyway. Last time I went home I got punched in both eyes. Didn't leave a mark. Weak dude, weak.

I think it's about time for my happy ending. I never signed on for this tragic comedy.

10-23-02
A squirrel ate my lab.

10-17-02
Fecundity has got to be one of the crappiest words ever invented.

My conspiracy surely jump-started the lagging interest today...*sigh*

You know what? I've never been shot. Sounds like fun...not that I'm masochistic or anything, but maybe just a graze. Ah, when do I get to play the hero?

10-16-02
There is another...

*pause for effect*

Yeah, so there's a new Yoda hangin' out by the TV. Lutino. Not very Yoda-ish, but very cool though. He's a fast learner, already poopin' on command. Very sweet. One of the few babies I can deal with.

These past few months I've been thinking that Ben Graves is a pretty kickass drummer. Even in DRUM! they said it was Graves drumming on the Murderdolls album (many thanks to my back-up lover for the awesome CD). Turns out it was my man Joey all along. Which is cool...he does all the guitar and bass tracks too. But if Graves can play it Joey-style, he's going up there on the lame-ass Sick Drummers page with those other ones I haven't put up yet...quite a few.

On another note, I'm in the midst of a dilemma here...two basses or a double kick? I guess it all comes down the the $. Double kick it is. Hm, not much of a dilemma after all. See, I don't need you.

10-9-02
No cold water yesterday, no hot water today...I seem to be made to suffer. It's my lot in life. If they don't fix it soon I'm gonna be pretty ripe-smellin' by the end of the week. Oh well. TK out.

10-8-02
You know what? It doesn't matter. The TK keeps problemizing trivial things...

People keep staring at me today - is it just my imagination? It's unnerving...is my zipper open?...is there a pen streak on my face?...is my hair doin' that freaky thing where it tries to run in all directions at once? Stop it! Or I might be forced to go on an eyeball popping spree.

I'm having problems with words on my shirt - I want them off. Acrylic paint keeps washing off, white-out only works on white (and it soaks in or chips), sharpie won't stay black (it turns purple), and scraping with a knife hurts it, I imagine. You can only dig so far before they start screaming and crying, and you just want them to shut up, so you keep hitting them, and they cry harder and harder, and by the time you're done you've stabbed the hell out of 'em and they're not wearable anymore...

I've never been in a real fight. I'd like to at least once before I die, even if I do get my ass kicked. I've never been afraid for my life...even in "life-threatening" situations (but parents tend to exaggerate). I'd like to be in one (that wasn't an invitation to attempt to kill me, in case you were getting any ideas). I've never jumped out of a plane - I'd like to do that. I've never been bitten by a rabid dog. Hell, I've never even seen a rabid animal. I've never swallowed anything alive (on purpose). I've never been bitten by a poisonous snake. I've never broken a bone. I've never been cursed out by a non-sibling, and vice versa. I've never been hit by a car. I've never jumped from a moving vehicle going over 20. I've never jumped from a third story balcony into a swimming pool. I haven't done a lot of things...and I've never lived.

 My horoscope:

The only thing that keeps you from realizing your potentential is the
depressing awareness that it probably wouldn't take much time or effort.

10-6-02
The other day I dreamed Jaws and kept smelling seafoam green on the ride to work. I think it might mean something...a bad omen?

10-5-02
We've only just become acquainted, but I think I'm in love...sexy look, sexy voice, and I could beat it all night long. Yum.

10-4-02
It's back. And I'm stuck upstairs. Run! Get out while you still can!

10-3-02
I can't focus! I guess I'm about to be zombified, huh? And I don't care. Itchy. Tasty. I hate you too.

9-29-02
Weekend debriefing:

But with all the not-so-good stuff, it's still been a pretty good weekend (even with that thank-you glory leech). TK out.

9-27-02
Oh, man. Fuck.

9-26-02
I've got homework to do and a test to study for in a couple of hours...but I keep finding things to distract me. Like ranting, for example. Specifically, about BS compliments. Now there's something that can get TK in a *grr* mood. As if they're not obvious to see through. I figure the reasons people do this are (a) to attempt to be subtly insulting (however failing to hide the sarcasm) for some cheap laughs (b) to try to get something from you (c) they have skewed perception (d) because they're too nice for their own good (e) they have really low standards (like praising an 8-year-old kid playing Chopsticks on a grand piano - 'My little prodigy'). *gag* You know what? Just dump the compliments altogether.

Time to mangle my test. TK out.

9-25-02
Yet another bird has become worm food. The Lowrider singing, mirror attacking, poopin' machine is gone. Just a dumb animal...least this one left of its own volition and wasn't avocadoed to death (Yoda, RIP*). *starts singing Scissors and can't get past the line that goes 'just 'cause I have nerves don't mean that I can feel'*...

*Rot In Peace

9-24-02
Confusing weekend full of stuff like sleeping, eating, procrastinating, and breaking and entering. I wish I could steal some sleep instead of wasting time doing it myself. Today was pretty eventful - my roommate started choking me in the middle of class, and the teacher came up and told her if she didn't choke me harder he'd do it himself. I don't know what this world is coming to... *shakes head* Anyway, I skipped the next class, but that was more to bask in the glory of the Musician's Friend order form I just sent out yesterday. I got some sticks, a throne, a crash, a Yamaha bamboo snare, an Iron Cobra Power Glide, an 18" floor tom, and a T-shirt...I figured since they had a special (FREE shipping - can't pass that up), I'd go on and blow my money on that. But I'm still ordering heads and a stand from Interstate, or perhaps eBay. I'm proud of myself for calling (yes, I called...I make so many sacrifices for the drums) Musician's Friend last night to straighten out my order. Now I need to straighten out those Tuskens beating up the poor lil' Jawa on my computer and eat some more cheez-its and off-brand whipped cream in a can.

9-19-02
Eeeeeowwwww!

I'm watching Office Space. Hehe. I don't feel like going to school. Ah, too bad it doesn't work like that...
South Park tonight...where's the new stuff? Huh? Freak strike, man! What about that!? Ugh.

9-16-02
Well, today sucked way more than it should ever be allowed to. Except for this morning, which was awesome, but counts as yesterday since I hadn't gone to sleep yet. It's one of those days where I hate everything and everyone - well, except for you (but not really)...and that girl in psych that let me borrow a pencil for the test I didn't know I was having. The test wasn't that bad for not having even glanced at the book or notes, passable if not A-able, so I figured 'it's all good' and didn't worry about it. Studied for a Chinese quiz, learned all the new characters...then got there late and missed the quiz anyway. Damn monkeys. Oh well, I'm thinkin' it's not too bad. Then comes organic - and guess what? Quiz there too, the bastards. Okay, I guess some and write messily in hopes that it might look vaguely like the right answer. Don't think I pulled that one off. Then organic lab comes, and pre-lab was due, (you think I did it? ha.), so I spent more time than it should have taken rushing through what I knew and inventing the rest. This was no easy 'two-questions-and-you're-done' pre-lab, this was a real one. And the TK was hopelessly lost attempting to muddle through the lab on not enough sleep and not enough brain activity. Still, I wasn't the last one out, however close, so don't I get props for that? And I think I'm done spoutin' irritating complaints that'll probably jinx me...it's happy time now. So be happy. Do it NOW.  

There is a Zack. Zack is not a nerd.
Disclaimer's obviously don't apply to him, therefore he exists.
Can Zack survive in the world of the TK?
Not if the monkeys can help it...

9-15-02
This guy has waaay too much free time, though XXIV is pretty funny. Don't you wish you had his dancing talents? Also, Tom Fulp is kickass with his flash progging (? *shrug*) - check out Pico, Disorderly, Alien Hominid, and Pol (which isn't Fulp's but fun nonetheless). Xiao Xiao is awesome too. I got Dream Theater's Awake for only $4, lucky TK. Mike Portnoy is teh awesome...(AH! Don't start with that!) The man with the huge-ass kit (hehe, ass kit) and the fancy-schmancy double bassin'. Saw Stealing Harvard - maybe I'm biased cuz I love Jason Lee, but I thought the movie was insanely funny, if a bit slapstick-y. Lemme stop makin' up words here, actin' like English is too good for me. Anyway, I had some good Japanese food yesterday, and apparently I have a V8 engine with 8 fuel injectors. Isn't that awesome? I thought so. Even if 6 of 'em are clogged up. I really got nothin' to say, so I'm just rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on to put off doin' some homework or anything productive. All I'm doing is playing flash games and the same damn song on this crap-ass Serenada (don't know it, don't ask) over and over and over an- shut up, TK. Got it. Zai jian. Shut up. TK out.

9-13-02
When monkeys fly out of my butt...

9-11-02
Easily amused TK just wanted to share...

9-9-02
The TK is back...after a wonderful relaxing summer vac- *cough cough* school. But the good news is I met a drummer the last day who also plays Tama - too bad his drums are in Venezuela, eh? Oh yeah, and the most important thing - the TK rescued the scholarships and now can afford to spend summer work money on all kinds of kickass stuff for the drums even after blowing almost $500 on books. I spit at them. Plegh! Decisions, decisions...a new snare, maybe a 14" maple Starclassic, free-floatin' copper, or that Noble & Cooley aluminum alloy (it's a beauty...but waaay out of my price range). And, of course an 18" FT cuz that CB 16-er sucks the big one. But hey, a Frankenstein kit still works. New heads for everything - I think I'll get a coated Remo prepack and try out some hydraulics...I like the thumpiness. Also a new crash, probably Avedis med-thin, and A-custom hats. I activated a credit card...don't think my credit limit's high enough to accommodate all that, so I need to work on trimmin' it down a bit. Oh, oh! And I need an Iron Cobra power glide! I really need to quit readin' those catalogs in class. I need way too much stuff. Expensive hobby...maybe I should take up the kazoo - could probably get a ten-pack at the Dollar Tree.

Great things happenin' even with work and school over the summer. Korn and Slayer concerts...Atlantean stormtroopers and sci-fi motherfuckers. And you know what? People are awesome. Heh, never woulda seen Dave without 'em. Such a great show...*reminiscent grin* And summer wasn't all work - went campin' with my roommate and my brother and his friends...weird drunk high-schoolers who lose their pants and talk too much. Trying to learn to dive and succeeding in perfecting a belly-flop. Skinny-dipping and scary little fish. Conspiracy rollin' along all by itself without the monkeys interfering and a rusty heart pullin' flip-tricks. A retuned kit - tighter snare (awesome for rolls!...or my interpretation of 'em) and a punchier bass with a super-tight kick...I can get in some good doubles with my right. I've attained a whole new level of sucking.

Whoa, fire alarm...it speaks. Yeah, anyway...I busted up a computer with an ax...since bipolar dude is in jail he can't really claim 'em anymore. I just ordered some sick boots online...and one's got a broken zipper, and the TK is impatient to wear them. Relax...let the Force flow through you. Yeah, great stress relief. Kinda like that beginner's yoga video from one of the TK's superiors with the super-stretch mutant freak bent over backwards...I just wanna beat somethin' up...kinda like a computer. No pixy stix and no South Park make TK go something something...'go crazy?'...don't mind if I do... TK out.

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