Church Of Puget

There is only ONE Jade: THE Jade

-Chocolate soy milk is our Holy water-

-Ninjas are totally sweet and their force is strong-

-Our hand signal is the westside sign with the right hand and the flexing of the left bicep-

-Our diet is abundant in chicken and granola bars-

-With lack of chocolate soy milk, we build a fire inside of our bellies-

-We must learn to play 3 Simon and Garfunkel songs on the kazoo-

-Pink is the new black-

-We must speak of Yanni as if he is "cool"-

-We roll tight like a perm when not holding shit down like a hairnet-

-We answer the phone whether it rings or not-

-The word "hella" must be interspersed when speaking at least every 3 words-

-Each of our sentences are to end with "Psyche!"-

-The male Croissant Children must create their own Jadeburns. Female Croissant Children shall pencil theirs in-

-We shall all use MAC and L'Oreal eyeliner to accent our radiating eyes-

-We shall all sport pink ties-

The Guide