important aphorisms from intelectual individuals....?

above all else, to thine own self be true

2/6/05 william shakespear


they shouldnt tell girls not to drink....they should tell sluts not to fuck

6/5/03 ryan smith


how do you circumcise a hillbilly?...Kick his sister in the jaw.

6/17/03 matt blaylock


how many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?.....Hey do you want to go bike riding??

6/17/03 matt blaylock


elephant: why do you have two boobs on your back? camel: thats a pretty dumb question coming from someone with a dick on their face

6/5/03 eric swenson


sex is like air, its not a big deal unless your not getting any

6/5/03 trevor curry


i like porn becuase it doesnt laugh at my dick

6/5/03 trevor curry


when i was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... i'm very sorry .... we did everything we could ... But he pulled through.

4/30/03 scott elkington


i was so poor growing up ... if i wasn't born a boy .... i'd have nothing to play with.

4/30/03 scott elkington


i could tell that my parents hated me. my bath toys were a toaster and a radio

4/30/03 scott elkington


i'm so ugly ... my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet

4/30/03 scott elkington


the length of a movie should only last the endurance of a bladder

2/21/03 joey lambert


girls are like trains, you never want to stop riding them

he actually made it up

12/10/02 cory planjé


what is good in pie but not in pussy? the crust and filling

12/10/02 cory planjé

live your life with no regrets, leave everything behind you before you die

12/10/02 cory planjé

you only live once, cherish every moment

12/10/02 cory planjé

you only live once, play as much as u can before u get tired down

12/10/02 reneé planjé

if you can't be a kid all your life, then why not be immature your whole life

9/27/02 meredith price

sex is like poker, if you dont have a good partner than your partner better have a good hand

9/6/02 elise armitage

it's better to let people think you're an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it

9/6/02 alison green

excuses are like buttholes, everyone has one, and they all fucking stink

8/23/02 elise armitage

girls are like pianos, when they are not upright, they're grand

8/21/02 joe galia

"suicide hotline...please hold"

7/15/02 plajurized

If at first you dont succed, then skydiving isnt for you

7/15/02 plajurized

If your not living life on the edge, your taking up too much space

7/15/02 plajurized

a bird in your hand is safer than one above

7/15/02 plajurized

ethernet:n:something used to catch the ether bunny

7/15/02 plajurized

Baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS

7/15/02 plajurized

dain bramaged

7/15/02 plajurized

Red necks think of a family reunion as a chance to meet girls

7/6/02 spencer buchan

puerto ricans are better than amer ricans

4/29/02 kristen portela

but occifer, i swear to drunk im not God

4/29/02 krystal vandersluis

life's a bitch then you die

4/25/02 roman bills

guys dont like two words "don't" and "stop"; unless they are put together

4/25/02 chelsey krahmer

im threw with guys they all tell lies they break ur heart and make you cry. luvin guys is such a sin, ooohhh look at that guy who just walked in

4/25/02 jeneca kretchman

love is like a butterfly, hold it 2 tight, it'll crush, hold it to loose, it'll fly away!

4/22/02 missy shine

a man thats stands on a toilet is high on pot

4/19/02 tyson bills

dont be so open minded.... your brains might fall out

4/19/02 nikki scarlett

when the officer says: "gee son you're eyes look red have you been smoking?" respond: "gee officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

4/19/02 nikki scarlett

it's not "when wild animals attack!" it's more like "when stupid people get bit!"

4/19/02 somebody

you are a poo in a shoe said cindy loo who

4/19/02 hayley lukes

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