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What is a spork.... one may think. The spork, although is not as widely known as the other basic utensils, is the most EFFICIANT, PRODUCTIVE, USEFUL, and SEXY utensil of them all. A tool that can be used as a spoon, fork, knife, and GOD knows what else, people rely on these utensils while camping out in the wilderness, or while eating at KFC (two very dangerous activities). These things even can even save lives, PEOPLE! Used as weaponry, they can permanently damage and/or puncture your attacker, making it easier for you to have a quick and speedy escape, so you can get back to eating with your spork (although, I would suggest cleaning it off first. it may be kinda bloody if you attacked correctly). Sporks are also used in other cultural activites, such as sex. That's right. You heard me. S-E-X. I'll let you use your imagination with that one.

Although you may not be aware of it, sporks have been around for longer than any of us have. Created by ancient creatures (specifically, the bibliopooper and arcranian zomimaf), they were used as tools for eating and preparing food. They have also been a widely used religious artifact. People loooong ago would pray for food, and it was believed that if you did it while holding a spork your garden and cattle would be prosperous for the rest of the year.... and stuff.

So let's over-view what we know about the spork:

1. It's an efficiant utensil
2. It can be used for self protection
3. It has been used for many years
4. It has religous and economical purposes
5. It can be used in sex.
6. IT TOTALLY ROCKS!

So there you have it folks. A brief history of the spork.