My favorite thing about my dad being a dick
My Favorite Web sites
Angelfire Home Pages
Free Web Building Help
Angelfire HTML Library
htmlGEAR - free polls, guestbooks, and more!
Here's a letter my dad wrote me, because I'm such a bad kid. I don't even need to start to explain how angry i am at this stupidity. I've been exceptionally well behaved and now this gets thrown at me. Fuck it. I'm outa here. It pains me to write this, but last night's hijinks at 1:30 in the morning has got me a little fired up. You are now 21 years old, and as a gradual continuum, some changes in behavior are to be expected. Nothing drastic has happened, but it's a series of events that prompts me to put all this down so that it's organized. Fortunately we haven't had any repeats of last summer's "money making" agricultural adventure. But it's the non-stop nature of this summer's low level events that has Mom and me concerned. Allow me to list them. Again, none of these events by themselves create the need for a note like this, it's the sum total of them, and their non-stop nature. 1) Potato gun. Despite my frequent admonitions that the potato gun not be used without my approval, you went ahead and did use it. And you were casual enough to allow someone to leave the evidence on a neighbor's driveway. That thing is a lawsuit waiting to happen. You are not allowed to touch it ever again without my direct presence and approval on this property. 2) Jack. I don't want to appear to be an elitist, I'm having a hard time believing that the friendship with him is some kind of charitable event, or that he is great company. Maybe I've got him wrong. Here's the uncharitable part. I have a sense that his friendship is useful, at least in part, because he can get good dope cheap. I hope I'm wrong. 3) The backyard fire. I really tried to keep my trap shut, but I wasn't real thrilled to see a huge roaring fire of that size going in the back yard. I was even less thrilled when I suggested a bucket of water or two might get it under control. Even less thrilled again when I caught all kinds of flack from you for even suggesting an attempt to control it, and that a bucket of water wouldn't do any good. When it did. The resistance was unappreciated, as was the giant fire. 4) Rearranging lumber at Catherine's house. It's my understanding that the police were called in relation to two things over at Catherine's house….lumber got re-arranged, and some siding got ripped off. I understand that you confessed to the lumber re-arrangement, and that it was part of creating a "jump", but denied knowledge of the wrecked siding. I will trust that this is a correct version of events. Still, it once again begs the question, what were you thinking ? You can't be unaware that Catherine is a big stickler about people being on her property. If you get connected to the lumber re-arrangement, it doesn't take much to connect you to the siding, right or wrong. Again, this is something a 12 year old gets messed up with. We are darn lucky the cops didn't figure out it was you over there, or we'd all be answering questions down at the police station. Jesus god almighty, we don't need this. 5) Your car. I believe I helped subsidize your vehicle, and it's not looking like a kid's first car. I spent considerable amount of time polishing up and fiddling with my Ford Falcon. The paint job on your car never seems to get any attention. The mag wheels are constantly covered with crud. Brake dust will corrode over time, and cleaning won't get them clean. I don't get it. Maybe the love for the thing has worn off, but is that any reason to let the paint and chrome go to hell, when you might want to keep it up, for re-sale's sake ? By the way: big safety tip. Don't attempt any high speeds during moderate to heavy rains. You have no tread, and hydro-planning is at a high risk level right now. When is the inspection and the registration up ? 6) What's the status of your speeding ticket ? I haven't heard anything. That's our insurance bill that it will impact. I should be consulted and kept abreast of activities that may impact how much it costs to maintain you as a driver. 7) Your camera. It's being carried around naked. No case. That's nuts. It's a lot of money, and while the outer camera shell is intended to protect the guts, it should have a carrying case. Knap sacks and pockets don't count. 8) Fireworks. I forget what night it was. Suddenly fireworks are going off relatively late, in my backyard. Nobody asked if they could do that. What if the sheriff was driving by at that time ? What was I going to say ? What if the neighbors called and said it was too loud and scared them ? They didn't, but that's besides the point. What were you thinking ? 9) Matches and fire. Yesterday I asked who dropped matches (ok…one match) on the floor and what got lit. Nobody answered. I'm quite certain you knew full well what got lit. And still despite my efforts to get an answer, you remained silent. That's not the behavior of a 21 year old. That's a six year old trying to pull a fast one. The candle holder is now a waxy mess. The coffee table is a waxy mess. I haven't a clue as to why you thought it necessary to damage Mom's decorative candle sticks…which leads to….. 10) The Candle Stick. Good luck cleaning that up. Mom likes to keep a nice neat home and messing up that candlestick was thoughtless. Worse yet, and I wasn't there, but this is sorta what I got back through Mom, was that you brushed her off when she got angry about it. Like she needed to chill. Why should she ? You wrecked something she likes. 11) Late night meals and showers. Yes you are grown up, so in theory you can set your own bedtime. Not necessarily. You live in a communal setting. Other people have to get up early. Some noisy meals, microwave doors slamming, silverware clanking around, sounds pretty loud to adults on the edge of sleep at 1 or 2 in the morning. I've been awakened or kept awake multiple times. I haven't said anything because I don't wish to be your stereotyped complaining dad. 12) Rendezvous interuptus. I asked or told you that you and guests alone at Rock Cover were a no-no until I had a chance to meet them and get to know them. You didn't say anything after this, so I assume I wasn't wrong in guessing you had planned something with the Brant Lake girl. What bothers me is that you were apparently planning to do something and you weren't going to tell us. You are certainly entitled to some degree of adult privacy…..but not in our house(s). And they're appeared to be some level of deception involved. 13) Saturday driving. As a result of your night-owl activities and 5 AM bedtime, you told Mom to buzz off on promised driving chores with Mark on Saturday morning. OK…you didn't realize what you said. But if you hadn't gone to bed at 5 AM, that zombie talking state wouldn't have occurred. A grown-up wouldn't put him or herself in that position by going to bed so late. Yeah I know, the teeth thing on Friday threw you off. So did staying up late yacking with Dan…that was your choice. 14) Yesterday. This is an example of a series of events, where each one by itself is not a huge crime, but taken together shows a pattern of unwanted behavior that does not befit a 21 year old. First I got home and asked that the messy dishes be cleaned up before Mom got home. I could be wrong, but I don't think that happened. Then I asked for help locating the missing lawn mower part. I didn't get it. I got ignored. Then Mom asked for help weeding. You guys just flat out vanished quietly. No help was rendered. Yeah I know, it's "Mom's garden"…and "you didn't plant it, so why should you help…" 15) Douche bag phone call. Andrew. Whatever his name is. That was just uncalled for. I'm in a zombie state myself today thanks to that little trick. It was close to three AM when I got back to sleep. I'm fighting a sore throat. That didn't help. I was awakened at 1:30 AM by a stupid prank, and you apparently were aware it was about to happen. I think the phone rang at least twice before I picked it up. Why didn't you pick it up, if you had an inkling he was doing this ? I figured it was an employee, or something serious from somebody, since it was Sprint Relay, a bonafied business calling. Then I had to wade through three or four minutes of serious sounding stuff to get to the punch line. And then when I come downstairs to inform you that you're nightowl Instant Messageing had stirred up one of your dopey buddies, I didn't get an apology for your facilitation of the act. You made it seem like it was all Andrew's fault. That's what finally lit this whole fuse, after I got back to bed to mull this over. Mom was thoroughly awakened too. So there's all the stuff that has piled up. How long have you been home ? I'm sure if I thought about it, I could find more stuff. When is this chronic low level of crap going to stop ? And frankly I think I've really tried to be civil about all this and not seem to be a pest. Mom and I don't want to be nags, and you're probably thinking "You're doing a good job of it." But I come back to the bottom line. You're in Childhood OT. The modern social contract has kids remaining kids while they finish their college career. Being 21 and still living at home is a little un-natural. Conflicts are natural and inevitable. An entitlement attitude on the part of children is natural, but it is also something that should be adjusted and corrected with age. As long as you are accepting the good graces of our desire (and hopefully your desire) to finish your college career before beginning to support yourself, you have to trade off certain rights you might normally expect to have at this age. The simple fact is, you can't come and go as you please. You can't chose the cleaning and housekeeping styles that you might want to chose if you were in your own home. You can't decide what time you're going to take meals and run the shower. You can't continue to maintain pre-teen behavior patterns with matches….or anything else. You can't use the house as though it was your own. So…in conclusion. Mom and I had some discussions about some of these things, and here are some conclusions. Job and Living Location. We don't want you living up north and working there. I'm sorry but there are too many issues of trust to turn you loose up there. You need to get a job down here. Furthermore you need to get moving on it. Jobs will probably be tight this summer…at least that's what I'm hearing on my news. You need to start looking before everybody else does. You need to get some cash to contribute to your own upkeep. It's not optional. I know you were psyched about getting a "back bar" job. Mom and I are expressing a strong preference to a non-bar job, that has daylight hours. You should begin the search immediately. Sorry, but a Bolton Landing/ Lake George job is out. The showers and meals should be done by 11:30 PM. Please stop this night owl stuff. One way or the other, the activities, no matter how quietly you attempt to do them, end up being loud enough to bother the sleep of aging sleep-bothered oldsters. Rattling silverware, slamming microwave doors, heavy footsteps. It's just not quiet. Please stop the every-other-day hijinks. Matches, fires, candles, violating other's private property, noise. Etc. I don't want to sound all negative, but I can't help it. On the plus side of things, you're a sweet kid, and I love having male companions around to talk to. I'm glad you have had some effect on Mark's academics…hopefully we will avert a complete train wreck through your effort to encourage him to study. You've also been pretty good about volunteering for mowing, and tedious furniture refinishing up north. These things don't go un-noticed. Please excuse the cowards way of dealing with this…a hideously long note….but I needed to get this organized. By the way, we need you to go up north Tuesday, to be at Rock Cove at 9 AM, for the carpet measuring guy. I can't go. Mom can't go. It's you. Don't drive the Voyager until I get the new copy of the registration installed in it. Dad
