**************************************
~No Regrets~
You promised me you'd always care
But when I turned, you were not there
You said you'll always hurt like me
One day, together, that we'd be free
You had yours, and I had mine
Jealousy and turmoil began to shine
You gave me a reason to fight
To live and love, it seemed so right
As one we clung to straws of life
To fight the pain, and fight the strife
They told us that it was wrong
Two women together..it didn't belong
I let you in, my soul to bare
But easy moments soon were rare
And with the majority you may agree
But in my heart, you'll always be...
**************************************
~Epiphany~
I'm gonna pretend that pain's not there
and laugh
and joke
like i don't care.
They'll never see i really do
Too bad i'm not as strong as you.
I need the pain, I need the strife,
I want the courage to end my life.
I cry, and cry, but tears won't help,
I need the strength to save myself.
They laugh and mock, skin raw to the bone,
They make it so I'm all alone.
I take their hate, my smiles so fake,
Their torment haunts me in my wake.
My guard is down, no shield to fend,
Come and make me whole again.
I'm gonna pretend the pain's gone far
And it won't
ever find us
where we are.
They say we won't stay together long,
That we won't last, and we're not strong.
And just like always, We'll prove 'em wrong.
**************************************
~Empathy~
I can feel it coming back
That deep pain I know so well
Just when I thought my tears were gone
My eyes slowly start to swell
My life flashed before my eyes
It pasted in just a glance
It seems from the very start of the end
I never had a chance
I dig the gave inside my heart
I wipe the tears that stain my cheek
I let them show no mercy
As I sit here crumpled, I feel so weak
By a world consumed in hate
I feel the indignation
How can so much freedom
End in detestation?
A clamor arises from my throat
To a world shrouded in silence
Let your liberty bell speak truth for once
To end all hate and violence
A thorn ingrained within my side
Is the indolence in your heart
From the very beginning of the end
I knew that endings never start.
**************************************
~Used~
You come and go so easily
Leaving tracks wherever you wander
Your whole existence, your reality,
I’m beginning to ponder.
I need to feel that hateful touch
You so carelessly render,
Never caring who you shame,
You’re my repeated offender.
Someday I know I'll make you pay
You'll hurt deep down like me
Then you'll plead for mercy
I will be set free.
**************************************
~Hidden Force~
I am what you lack inside
I am all you try to hide
In their stature you confide
I am the you inside
You change the color of your hair
And what they say is what you wear
When you turn they won't be there
I am the you inside
They put you down with no remorse
Their unrelenting is the source
The newest trends are what they force
I am the you inside
You cry and beg but still they hold
Your cards were dealt and now you fold
Your soul to them has long been sold
I am the you inside
With their smiles your heart must die
Tears are useless so don't you cry
Your hope is gone so here you lie
I am the you inside
You will never forget the day
When they all gathered at your feet to pray
In your coffin you now lay
I was the you inside
The you inside will never perish
I will laugh, and mock in relish
The pain they caused is mine to cherish
I am the you inside
**************************************
~Untitled~
I'm scared to fall
Fall into you
I'm scared of what
I just might do
All the faces
I've been through
But none of them
Compare to you
Revived a soul
A heart so blue
Deep down I know
To me you're true
Yes, I gave up
And they did too
But with you here
I'll start anew..
**************************************
~Zeal~
Just one touch from you
Runs chills down my spine
Im falling too fast
I just want you mine
It's hard to let go
Move on from the past
I just have to wonder
Could we ever last?
You envoke feelings
I never knew could be
I would stop time forever
For just you and me
You outran my guard
And sauntered right in
Now I leave the door open
So my life can begin
Your love is what I hold on to
So now I can deal
Here you are with me
And together we'll heal..
**************************************
~Dear Ana~
Look at what you've done to me,
At what you've put me through
I sit here crying, just to wonder
What I did to you?
You smear my face with make-up
Of a beast I do not know
"Can't eat this, too much fat"...
How's a girl to grow?
"Look at that page", you say
"True beauty is right there.."
Airbrushing, plastic surgery
I have to ask you...Where?
You say "It's not enough yet,
Bones are the way to be.."
Mercifully, I beg you, just..
TAKE A LOOK AT ME
Like a porcelain doll,
You want me made of glass
"Thinner is the winner"?
Yeah? My fucking ass.
**************************************
~Dolly Dearest~
Open up my dollhouse
Rearange my face
Slit my wrists
Blood all over the place
Dead green eyes of fear
Cloth emotions everywhere
Silently shrieking as death comes near
My plastic lips are sealed
You've got me teriffied
Afraid to live in my own skin
Torn up, All ragged..I beg you,
Sew my stuffing back in..
**************************************
~I am~
I am...
I am from lies and deceit
Yelling and screaming
Liquor and stale pretzels
I am...
I am...
Sick of lying and pretending
Inside I'm mangled beyond repair
Slowly walls crumble
I am...
I am...
Tattered and ragged
Weathered and jaded
Alone to pick up the pieces
I am...
I am...
I am from pride and silence
Broken dishes and angry silverware
Hoping for a better tomorrow
I am.
**************************************
~Listless~
Listless
Broken hearts
Will never heal
Life goes on,
So I'll just deal
Yes, it hurts...
But I'll repent
Too many tears,
On you I've spent.
One day you'll see,
That it was fate;
That will be,
One day too late.
You broke me down,
Ignored my cries;
I turned my back,
And closed my eyes.
You want your cake,
And eat it too;
You'll walk away,
And start brand new.
Here, left standing
In the dust,
My limbs of steel,
Have turned to rust.
Of all the things,
I truly miss
None compare,
To your sweet kiss.
**************************************
~Remnants~
You promised me forever..
Together hand in hand
You wanted me to be your girl
To wear that sacred band.
One day I felt it crumble
The dust settled where I stood
You watched me writhe in agony
I didn't know you could.
So here I lie in remnants
Of a love forsaken me
You hold the key to my broken heart
Now come and set me free.
**************************************
~Get over it~
A love so strong,
or so I thought
Enough for you?
Well, I guess not...
You see these scars?
They're not in vain..
You left me helpless...
See, tears do stain.
Your smiling face,
Your loving eyes,
Your sweet embrace;
All smeared with lies.
But to my heart
I can't be true
It wont let me
Get over you.
Your callous ways
Your attitude
Your vicious words
They seem so crude
But all days end
And I'm still here
So I'll move on
**************************************
~Release~
The more you lie,
That hole gets deep
This pile of dirt
Is yours to keep
Further down
You dig my grave
Until there's left
No soul to save
You planted seeds
I watched them reap
And slit my wrist
You watched it seep
A breath too late
You dare be brave
I wretch with fear
Quick death I crave
**************************************
~Stolen Innocence~
Another rhymed story;
Sad tale full of spills.
Small, white, knuckles clenched;
On my fist full of pills.
Just you and I left then;
Awake in that bed.
Long asleep was my savior;
I awaited with dread.
I tried to escape it;
My limbs remained numb.
Years later, your torment;
I'm forced to succumb.
To this day I have nightmares;
Of your strong, immense clasp.
I lay frozen in fear;
By the way your breath would rasp.
A life left in shambles;
Young soul filled with fear.
My savior still taunts me;
Breath laden with beer.
Your hands soiled forever;
With the taint of your own sin.
Penetration or not;
You raped me within.
**************************************
~The Final Goodbye~
Then when I'm almost done here,
And I don't know where I'm headed,
Remember this as my last goodbye;
The last words on my page embedded.
Hollow soul and broken heart,
Three words were all it took.
I love to hate the empty soul,
That so foolishly I overlook.
And you, not to be mistaken
For a love gone unrequited,
The countless words of degradation,
My bitter tongue has ignited.
He takes the hand of victory,
As if he was worthy of praise.
His repercussions keep me sick,
Predestined to his malevolent ways.
Just remember, I'm almost done here now;
I know these words you've dreaded.
Regard this as my last and final letter,
As I wonder where I'm headed.
**************************************
That's all for now. More to come soon...
©Robyn Victoria Sparkes
