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Sunday, 25 February 2007


Long time, no write. I typed an update three or 4 days ago and it ended up in cyberspace (or erased because my computer crashed shortly there after) is somewhere and I can't retrieve it.

Let's try this again. Things here are puttering along. Some aspects of life are returning to some 'semblance of "normal" while other areas of my life are WAY out of balance. I really haven't done a lot of cleaning or sorting yet. For those of you who knew knew what a pack rat she was! Reminders of her are everywhere! When she was alive, we would talk about how Morgan dropped verbal "bombs". Like the time she was coloring and listening to a conversation amongst 2 other friends regarding what life would be like when her brother and his friends started dating. Out of the blue, she said something to the effect that she will not be around to see that so please pass the purple crayon! Well, I'm still dealing with "bombs" all over the place. For example, I found a sealed note to a friend in an old box of notes, I also found a drawing, in the car, that I didn't know existed (yet it had names on it so I knew who to give it to). This seems to happen on a daily basis. Man-o-man, Morgan certainly knew how to make impact, and so it continues. It may be quite a long time before I get myself "sorted" out....both within the physical realm as well as my emotional realm. I am still planning on getting away in order to get more "in balance"....I just do not know when yet.

I have gone back to work on a "what I can handle" basis. What an awesome position to be in....thank you Jeff, Craig and Heather for being there and being so understanding. I am finding that going back to work has been a little harder than I expected. I knew I was in a very public position, I was sort of prepared for the "I'm Sorry...etc" comments. I was not, however, prepared for the avoidance I have been experiencing. I realize and TOTALLY understand why folks are acting this way...I truly do.....but it is ignoring the reality of "what is". Ignoring reality, within itself, is harmful. I know - easier said than done. Morgan is not among us physically - and I am still having a lot of difficulty with that - but acknowledgment helps. If anyone still checks on this site, please, even if you don't know what to say...say "I don't know what to say...", or smile. Please do not ignore/avoid. Lets' make this easier, for EVERYONE involved.

Ryan and Karl seem to be doing pretty well. Ryan is back into school, soccer and skiing. He gets off kilter at times, but he seems to be moving in the right direction. Karl is working and seems to be OK were he is at. Izzy B is doing well. I know she still misses Morgan, but she is moving on. She has become MY cuddle bug. What a wonderful thing - to love and cuddle with something as much as Morgan did!

Oh, I did not tell you about the new addition to our family. It was the agreement that Morgan could get her pup and Ryan, his kitten, when the older animals passed on. You all know we broke that with the addition of Izzy B. for Morgan. We figured that our lives are so topsy turvy right now that the addition of a kitten wouldn't add any more chaos to what we are currently experiencing. Besides, we felt it would be beneficial for Ryan. Gingersnap, a 9 week old orange tabby joined us on Feb. 3rd. Ryan picked her out at the Humane Society with the help of his grandmother. It was a good decision. Gingersnap sleeps with Ryan every night. Within a weeks' time, all 4 animals (2 cats and 2 dogs) were getting along very well. Izzy and Gingersnap are great friends. Morgan would love the fact that her pup has a new playmate, they are so cute together!!

On a sad note, we lost one of our menagerie today. Okoela, our 14 year old Siberian Husky, had to be put down. She developed some sort of an intestinal block and the prognosis - even with surgery - was poor. I can see Okoela and Morgan now......running and playing in the meadows up in heaven. She has one of her dogs back. This time is different though, she now has the strength and endurance to deal with the size and all the energy that a husky has!

This MAY be my last update because "How's Morgan Doing?" is no longer relevant. I have the feeling that she is in a very happy, joyful and loving place. This journey has revealed tons of heartache, yet there have also been an equal number of graces and good memories. This path of cancer sucks - and no child should ever have to endure what Morgan endured....but please remember the good times, the life lessons, the love for life that Morgan demonstrated and experienced. Even if you cannot, please make something up - find a reason for the past 3+ years....something to honor her memory. Remember the importance of kindness, the value of friendship, and the strength of courage. Don't just remember, act on it. Demonstrate "random acts of kindness" for it really, truly does produce good energies within yourself. Shoot for the stars...bigger is better for there is more to share. Please give your child an extra long hug. Listen, truly listen, to what they have to tell is amazing what one can learn from a child. During Morgan's 6 months of isolation, I learned a lot. As bad as the isolation period may was the opposite. We got to slow down life and enjoy the "here and now". We discovered a lot of little that would have been missed in the current hustle and bustle of activity we call life. Slow down a little, I think you'll discover a lot of those little gifts also. They may be little, but I consider them priceless.

Morgan, I miss you soooo very much. I feel like there is a HUGE hole in my chest/in my heart. I hope I can fill that hole with all of your wonderful gifts and memories. Hopefully, in time. Hopefully, I can carry on everything you taught and demonstrated in your short time here on earth. I am going to try anyway. You are truly an amazing angel - one that I am so very blessed to have had and known here on earth. I will love you forever and always....with all my heart and soul....forever.

Thank you all, for all that you have done!
Take Care and God Bless,

Posted by super2/missmorgan at 9:21 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (7) | Permalink | Share This Post

Monday, 26 February 2007 - 9:39 PM EST

Name: Kim

Hi Lisa:

I don't know what to say other than I wish there was a way to make you feel better. I think of you often and know that with time the hurt will begin to feel a bit better. I was avoiding Karl (at work) because I wasn't sure if I should say anything or not, but I am glad that I did. I could tell that he was okay talking about Morgan. I guess you never know how someone in your position is going to take it. That is where avoidance and hesitation comes in. Some people simply don't know what to say. Hang in there (as hard as it may be)Spring is just around the corner and there will be brighter days ahead. I am thinking of you and your family.

Regards, Kim P.

Monday, 26 February 2007 - 10:35 PM EST

Name: Donna S.

Good luck to you & your family. My grandson turned 8 on the day Morgan passed. Your blog was hard to read but you seem like an awesome Mommy.

Tuesday, 27 February 2007 - 9:56 PM EST

Name: Ann

Thank you for you sharing your hopes, courage, dreams, optimism, struggle, sorrow and love. You and your family have helped and touched more lives than you will ever imagine. You will continue to be in my prayers everyday and I thank you for reminding me to truly enjoy the real gifts in life. I hope you will continue to enjoy the small gifts that will continue to bless your life as each day passes.
God Bless!

Tuesday, 6 March 2007 - 9:34 AM EST

Name: Dan Robbins
Home Page: http://none

Lisa and Karl,
I commend you on your strength and on the love and passion you give to your family. I work with Karl(from afar) and have been richly blessed by this website. Know that my family and I have been and will continue to pray for your peace, joy, and comfort. Your letters and circumstance has encouraged me to give some "extra long hugs" to my 3 blessings. Last night as I asked the kids for things to pray for - - Will (my 7.75 year old) said, "Dad, shouldn't we pray for Morgan's family?" Indeed we did - and will.
By God's grace,

Wednesday, 14 March 2007 - 12:52 AM EDT

Name: Judy-Sue
Home Page:

I do check in and I still think of you often. You maybe don't realize it but you have given a wonderful gift of courage, hope, love, kindness, and thought to me. You have made me feel and think in a way I would rather avoid but must face. You are an amazing women and the strength that you send out is incredible.I beleive those of us who found your blog or part of your life were meant to take your voyage with you. May your life be filled with peace and love. Best wishes
If you find you need to continiue to write here or in another form, blog etc I would love to read it.

Friday, 23 March 2007 - 1:14 PM EDT

Name: Kim
Home Page:

Lisa, you are in my thoughts frequently ... many healing thoughts are sent your way. I truly believe in your search for balance, you will find it again. The journey can be hard, but you have such a wonderful spirit, I have no doubt you will come out on the other side a much stronger person than you are even now.

If you ever want to sneak away for a visit to the mountains, don't hesitate to give me a call. Hugs to you, your family and little miss Izzy B :-)

Monday, 2 April 2007 - 11:22 AM EDT

Name: Beverly Cray

Hi Lisa,
I just want to let you know that rarely does a day go by that I don't think of you and your family and the loss you have endured. I don't know how you got through it. As you said, it makes me treasure my children all the more. I am sorry I did not get a chance to know Morgan (only met her that one time we ran into each other at the mall - remember that? - in the rest room of all places!). May you find that time that you need to get yourself "in balance". Wishing you and your family all the best.

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