Mood:  d'oh

Hi everyone,

I am typing this from rm 546 here at DHMC. We got moved up a couple nights ago...literally, in the middle of the night. Over the past couple of days, we have had a nice stream of visitors. Morgan was in a decent spot to interact and enjoy the visits. Even Izzy B., (her dog) was smuggled in a couple of times. We have a nice room, but I BELIEVE that we will be checking her out tomorrow and head home.

She's is soooooo psyched to be going home in an ambulance...I'm on auto pilot, doing what I need to do. The electrolyte situation seems to be under control with the help of meds. It actually has a name....SIADH....syndrome of inconsistent anti-diaretic hormone (I think). Because of this, she is unable to receive any more chemo.

We thought she might need more radiation to her arms and she had a CT scan last night to verify or nullify that thought. She is not going to get more radiation....but in the process, it did verify that her internal organs are very compromised.

Why type this update, given the news?? It is therapeutic, for me, I guess. I have tried very hard to live in the "here and now", but it is becoming very hard not to let my brain wander. Right now, she is sitting with Karl - in bed - eating pizza. So normal, yet so very abnormal....for the calmness can change in the blink of an eye.

I am incredibly scared to be responsible for her at home...but that is what she really wants. I will somehow, someway, find the strength to do this...for her. We will have increased nursing care at home and that will be a God send.

Ryan seems to be doing OK with all this (so far) and Karl is doing what he feels he needs to do. I cannot fault any action, at this point, because everyone deals with things differently.

I'll let you all know if we truly do get home. We are going to lay low and try to enjoy what gifts there are to receive....after all, "tis the season" of love, giving, peace, compassion, and of life and re-birth.

Thanks for checking in...I'm off to get a cup of wine (yes...that too...in the hospital). Please, if you could, please send up a prayer or two that Morgan is able to make this transition as pain-free and peaceful as possible.

Take care and God Bless,
~Lisa