Mood:  a-ok
Happy Halloween (almost!)...

I almost wrote an update on Tuesday or Wednesday....but it would have been full of negativity, questions, reality vs perception, unfairness vs "what is fair" etc etc. Needless to say, I was not in a good place. I'm doing a lot better now.

None of my questioning had to do with Morgan's current physical state - for she is doing pretty well. Her counts crashed on Thursday....we went to DH on Friday for a platelet transfusion...and now Morgan is on her bed, watching a movie with a friend. I hope I don't jinx it, but I believe that she has avoided a neutropenic fever. Avoiding this type of fever keeps her out of the hospital....yeeha!!!! For whatever reason, she has weathered this round of chemo MUCH better than the first round. Her counts didn't fall as quickly or as deeply as her Dr. expected. In fact, they seem to be rebounding pretty well. She actually went to school for most of the week, sleeping in really late just one day.

Her port is in, but she decided to do blood draws via her arm. To her, this was a great decision on Monday and a horrible decision on Thursday (she got poked 2x before they found a viable vein). This coming Monday, we are back to the visiting nurse coming and doing a blood draw through the port. It is funny, in a way, how kids learn through experience. Yet, I never would have imagined this type of learning experience happening to anyone I knew...let alone my own child.

Part of my dilemma earlier this week was a perspective issue. You know, they say that perspective is 9/10's of the law. Anyway, I was questioning the process of life....are you "living" each day or is a person one day closer to dying. After sitting with this for quite a while, a friend asked if Morgan was dying or if she was indeed living the day for what it is....it may not be the typical day that the typical person experiences...but is she living each day? I would have to answer with an unequivocal YES! She has her periods of "why me", but it doesn't seem to hold her back from experiencing life for what it is. My perspective then changed and my blues went away. Morgan is indeed tackling each day with "vin and vigor"....to the best of her abilities. She gets philosophical about life and the role her cancer has in it, but it doesn't slow her down in experiencing the moment, the "NOW". I am deeply saddened that she is dealing with what she is dealing with, but she is truly trying to make the best of it. What a life lesson she is teaching me - all of us - in the midst of such adversity!!

Sooo, on that note, I'll wrap up this update. Thanks to everyone, for being there for us...with the prayers, the help and support. I cannot imagine going through all this without you!!

Good night and God Bless,
~Lisa