wow im back
lol
dealing with my many experiences shall we call them.
but there's someone I hold dearly
and I thank her more and more
she's the love of my life
and im thanking her and thanking her every single way
I love you Ruth

loving
its a beautiful friendship
how about that?
or we could really say there`s thousands of smiles.
but to experience the love and affection that grows from each passing moment.
now there`s a gift.
and does it stop there? not for me. you know the unexpected? do you?
I mean how things work "unexpectedly?" cause I haven`t. I haven`t been able to figure out
how good moments appear. sure i guess I could think about the balance of
things where negatives replace positives. but then again. all the bad things don`t last long.
and when it comes down to it im smiling every single day.

I guess what really makes my world brighter is the fact that im constantly trying
to make it brighter. duh. and I know my other significant better extraordinary half (yes im sucking up to you Ruth =)
is doing the same.
see, I was taught once (thanks to my lovely and funny daughter! not real daughter inside thing okay? thanks barbz by the way)
that insecurities and instabilities appear in my life because I`m making it appear. instead of worrying so much about the world around me and constantly thinking, I should go out into the world and take action.

its my adventure. my discovery.
do I love? definitely
its part of the whole experience.
I guess some people would say im too young for love...
for love? ha
I laugh in the face of danger.
but seriously.

this road i face. brings different wonders. and its all because of life in general
or really how things worked out after so many conquests and losses.
and now that I`ve lived a part of my life. I`m standing to live more.
and guess what the best thing is.
I`m sharing the experiences with someone looking for the same kind of adventure.
well okay. she grew into it just like me.

the history: to help you understand what I meant about growing into the adventure here`s little backround info.

when I met her. I wasn`t really paying attention. sure I glanced but how can you not take a look.
she`s perty =) anyways. so we really met through friends. you know how they want to hook you two up.
but we weren`t looking for the adventure. we both agreed one night that relationships are good but we`re not into them.
guess what happened that same night.
we felt a connection. which was completely weird. but it brought along some pretty extraordinary smiles. unexpected smiles.
the ones that burst out of your face. the ones that make you breathe easier.
and everything that followed was going with the flow...unexpectedly.

i'm loving ya constantly

i want to die and die again
because im waiting on a dream

i look around and see that its happening to my friends

im waiting on a dream that im slowly beginning to think doesn't exist
as the days go by
i realize
i see
that the dream that I've "wanted my whole life"
feels like a complete waste

it doesn't interest me anymore

i don't know anymore
i want to know
but how....

My heartache is with you
I went through a lot of different pains in relationships and I still am going through them. But the hardest relationship of all is the relationship between a loved one. No… it`s not a love between family members or friends. It’s the love that you share with "Your soul mate". My names Nick or so most people call me by that name and here is a little guide that could help you or even get you to open your mind to the power of relationships.
It`s very hard to understand all the feelings that you have when you love someone. It really gets to you when you`ve made that mistake or started that fight.
Isn`t love supposed to be this eternal happiness that you can constantly smile about for the rest of your lives? Isn`t love that endless journey into ones worlds, and creating a new one where everything coincides as one?
So…how can you face that little jealousy you feel when they talk to the opposite gender, or when they`re out with the friends? The first thing you should know is that both of you trust each other enough to decide to go out with him/her. Secondly, you both know perfectly well how you feel. You said it in the beginning so why should it change?
But if worse has come to worse then you should take the time to think. Think about what caused the problem to begin with. Think about where and why feelings towards each other feel like they`re slowly disappearing. Who is it going to hurt? Try and place yourself in their shoes. It`s easier to discuss a situation with a more opened mind than be blunt and ignorant because being ignorant will NOT take the relationship very far.

"I had a relationship where nothing mattered but my voice. I was the alpha and omega and you had to listen to me because I was right, the relationship ended because I wasn`t fair. I was to overpowering and selfish-friend"

Here`s an example of what happened to a friend when they were Too fair.

"I was to giving and I guess in a way too generous. I didn`t have a choice because the whole time I was going along with his choice. Six months later we broke up. I gave so much that I wasn`t getting anything back. The feelings slowly disappeared for him and they did for me as well-friend"

"I shared a lot too. Ok, we`ll call it being generous. It was ok at first when the whole relationship started but as it continued I noticed that it wasn`t me that she cared for. It was everything else that I gave. She stopped caring for me and when I told how I felt about the situation she left me. I guess it was a lesson for me in the end-anonymous"

When you`re in a relationship there are lines between the two of you. Things you should recognize and really know. For instance, how your treat each other (with respect and fairness). You have to understand the trust that connects the two of you together. Without it you`re always gonna have a feeling of insecurity. And Insecurity drowns out a lot of emotions. It hits you rock solid. Taking time is also important in relationships. Patience is the key to succeed or so they say. But really take time. Time to think, time to act, time to hold back and relax.

"I am in a relationship right now and nothing makes me more happier than knowing how I feel. Than knowing I`m making one soul happier because I`m in their world. I can rest easy at night and breathe deeper in the morning. I`m more awake and concentrated to the world around me. I`m able to smile with her, she laughs with me. Sure… there are times when jealousy enters my life and times when I feel insecure. But it`s a natural feeling. I can understand it. She would feel the same way too. But I know we can work it out. I know I can take the time to really understand the situation. The bottom line is…I love her so much-the writer"

To be able to understand, have patience, knowing your limitations,knowing yourself will help you through relationships especially the ones that really matter most. So enjoy, take care. A good relationship is being good to yourself(friend told me once).

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can-The Little Engine That Could"

"When you believe in your goals and believe in your abilities and follow through with it, you`re entitled to miracles-anonymous"

"You made a pledge to love each other, that doesn`t mean you can abuse it! -anonymous"

"Nothing`s a gift in life, it`s all earned and respected. It all depends on how you treat it-friend"

"Instead of seeing the miracle, be the miracle-anonymous"

"If you can take a penny for all the times You need help then there would be nothing left. That`s why you take a penny. Leave a penny-me"

To Ruth-I`m gonna fight for us. My heartache is with you. I Love You.

love
is but a partial gift of this world....
what the frig am i talking about?!?!

its everything in this world
it makes all the small things larger
all the dark things brighter
it turns frowns into smiles
its a kiss on the cheek
its your knees feeling weak
that brush of wind that lifts you up high
its those wings that will make you fly

its a love that never dies...

love
gotlove?

two hundred and thirteen
its been 213 days since I've been with her
since we've been together
and she makes me happier and happier as the days go by
i don't really know what else to express.
im just smiling wide with so much joy inside(wow rhymed lol)
she's such a great person. I can count on her for her guidance.
and a wonderful friend.
she doesn't have angelfire ]= lol
=D
so she can't see this which is good
its like my personal journal away from her
lol

i can't help but smile
im saying bye for now

gonna spend this wonderful day to the last minute
=D
smile for the rest of your days

changing
have you ever thought of changing yourself...[?]
its a hard thing to keep doing

honestly, I've always wanted to change.
all the little things that's part of me. the bad habits. but im just procrastinating.

how do you do it[?]
how do you change yourself[?]

I'm gonna try and im stating it here as my reference and witness. and to those who are reading this.

i want to change

being shick shucks ass
darnit
but driving is good good good
but I can smile constantly

and happiness is just around the corner
because I can feel excepted by others
and safe

that's all I wanted to share
was this happiness that grows within

theafterparty
its special moments when someone celebrates their birthday
its even specialler when you give them your time, kindness and generosity and simply try and make their day one of the most memorable days of the year.
make it a nice start to their new year

what makes it specialinger
is when you get your F!@#ing G1
yeah baby!!!

moments moments moments
hotdigidydamn

superherowonderboy
whoa

If I could say just one thing to make this entry unique
it would be to tell you that this entry is unique
but why you may ask?

i'll tell you

because today I woke up with a different smile on my face
and it gave me a new look at life when I looked at my past
when I saw the child I used to be
when I saw the happiness that once grew with me

im living again
only to relive and have those moments reimbrace my life once more
and make me complete..........