Since this is Mario's Brewery, I opened up a bar (ingenious, yes?). Despite the name, this bar is not owned by Mario, but by me and my great empire that no one seems to care about, but I'm sure they're just pretending.

Anyway, here are some things that you better order.

FOOD

Fried Super Mushroom- a Super Mushroom, deep fried in batter and served with a dipping sauce so secret, even I don't know what it is. Causes you to grow twice your size until someone touches you. $50.00

Fried 1-up Mushroom- a 1-up mushroom prepared and served like a Super Mushroom. If you die after you eat this, you can come back from the dead, but unfortunately not in a zombie state. $200.00

Raccoon Leaf Salad- A salad made of Raccoon leaves. Eating it will give you the power of flight, but you also grow racoon ears and a tail, causing you to get mocked in public. $150.00

Grilled Toad- Yes, we killed them. And painfully, too. $3.00 (hey, the little buggers are everywhere)

Boiled Koopa- Everyone's favorite bird-headed turtle, boiled with red potatoes and Creole seasonings for your enjoyment. $25.00

Shy Guy Salad- Regular salad with bits of chopped Shy-Guys added for flavor. Just try to eat around the mask pieces. $23.00

DRINKS

Mario's Beer- Beer from Mario's Brewery, with bits of mushroom added to make it more Mario-like. $10.00

Luigi's Beer- Same as Mario's, only it's Light Beer. $1.00

Chain Chomp Milk- $1,000,000.00 (ever try milking those things?)

Wine- I ran out of clever ways to tie food and drinks to the Mario universe. Well, actually, they were never clever to begin with, but I somehow doubt you were expecting something clever from someone who goes around claiming useless boards no one cares about for his imaginary empire. $55.01

Cola- $12.00

And that's all you get for now.

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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

could i have a Chain Chomp Milk
forks over $1 million*
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How come you never see the headline: Psychic wins lottery?
Pink battler on the MSB

Very well.

*takes money, puts it in the register and heads to the back. 5 minutes later, comes back bloody, with numerous bite wounds, and carrying a glass of milk*

Here ya go.

*sets milk on table, then passes out*
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

MOO
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How come you never see the headline: Psychic wins lottery?
Pink battler on the MSB

Hmmm... I'll take a double bacon cheeseburger, medium fries, small chocolate milkshake.
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Are you an idiot who's bored and wants to pass the time, then [CLICK HERE]
~Representing Cloud in the Summer Contest Poll~

What does this look like, McDonalds? Ah well, business is business.

*sets order where elits is seated*

That'll be $225.89. Don't ask what's in the meat. I didn't cook it, just served it.
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http://s2.cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.asp?board=1611
The Summer Contest 2002 Unofficial Social Board. (... blah, what's the use?).

OVER TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS?! THIS BETTER BE THE BEST BURGER I'VE EVER HAD!

*Takes bite*

.........YOU WERE LUCKY! *Hands out $224* Hey, is there something moving in my fries?
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Are you an idiot who's bored and wants to pass the time, then [CLICK HERE]
~Representing Cloud in the Summer Contest Poll~

Probably, but it's gone now. By the way, you still owe $1.89.
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

Put it all on my credit card, my good man.

*Hands out a library card with the words "Credit Card" written in black permanent marker.
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Are you an idiot who's bored and wants to pass the time, then [CLICK HERE]
~Representing Cloud in the Summer Contest Poll~

*puts the bill on the credit card and hands it back to him*

You still have to pay it. In cash.
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

*SIGH* *Hands out two more dollars*
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Are you an idiot who's bored and wants to pass the time, then [CLICK HERE]
~Representing Cloud in the Summer Contest Poll~

Ill take 400 toadies, fried 1up, and chomp chomp milk *hands over $1,001,600*ill give you $4000 if i can chop the toadies.:)
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I am Bass.exe and shall forever be better than Megaman.exe

*penguin waiters take bassv3exe's money, put it in the register, and serve the food, except for the toads*

3 penguin waiters died getting that milk, so I hope you like it. Anyway, we keep the toads free-range out in the back.

*hands bass a machete*

Here ya go. Have fun! Bring them to the kitchen when you're done and the penguins will grill them for ya.
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

It was so good Ill have 10 million more toadies 42 glasses of chomp milk 1 1up and 400000 to chop the toadie *Hands over $7600200*:)This time i'll get the milk!!!!
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I am Bass.exe and shall forever be better than Megaman.exe

Fine. So long as the money keeps coming, have all you want!

(by the way, there's an armory shed out back with all sorts of weapons and vehicles to kill the toads with)
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

*comes out of chomp room with 4 bloody chomp teeth and 42 glasses of chomp milk*Thats what happens when you mess with BASS!!!!!!
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I am Bass.exe and shall forever be better than Megaman.exe

Time for toadie!!Sorry,I need to borrow 3 penguins and a battle axe!:) *hears ear piercing screams*
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I am Bass.exe and shall forever be better than Megaman.exe

Ill also need a rhino tank and a gun that shoots daggers!!!!!!!! :)
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I am Bass.exe and shall forever be better than Megaman.exe

Well, guns that shoot exploding ninja stars are standard armament for my robot-pirate-ninja army. They should all be in the armory, as well as your Rhino tanks.
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

I wonder if Peach likes to get wasted?

-Cosmo

*Orders a Grilled Toad and a regular Beer*
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Official minion of cynical society

*penguin waiters bring DarkBear's order to him*

That'll be, uh... you figure it out, I hate math.
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

I'll take 5 gallons of Chomp Chomp milk, a Mario's Beer and a Boiled Koopa.
That 5 gallons to go, please.
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WELL **** YOU MR. BEAR! You tell LIES!-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Oops! Chain Chomp milk I mean. *Pays the guy*
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WELL **** YOU MR. BEAR! You tell LIES!-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

*penguin waiters serve Mezonn his order, and set a 5 gallon drum beside him*

The milk is in the drum.
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

i will sit in this here chair *does so*
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My name is Svenson now! By yiminy! He yump off der roof!
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.

Sorry for the late service. I had... things to do.

Anyway, what have you? Unless you're not buying anything, in which case I'll have to push this little red button marked "eject".
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

EJECT?!?! *presses Eject* WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHeeheeheeeeeeee...........................
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My name is Svenson now! By yiminy! He yump off der roof!
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.

*Appears*

*Hands over $13.00.*

*Leaves*
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Official minion of cynical society

To prevent people from abusing my buttons, I mislabel them on purpose. That "eject" button was actually the "electrocute" button.

*grabs $13.00*

Woo hoo! 13, my lucky number!
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

... time to drum up business.

*puts up a sign saying "Free Surprise with every purchase!"*
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

Come on! Everyone loves surprises and free stuff!
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

I love surprises as long as it's not Oprah in a bikini.
*shudders*
Ok, give me a diet mushroom mocha with extra plunger sauce.
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Can I grow a birth mark on my head like Gorby? SBH

Sorry for the slow service. I, uh. . . fell asleep. For 6 days.

*penguin waiters hand secretboardhunter his order*

That'll be $24.00. As for your surprise, well. . . it was Oprah in a bikini, but you said you didn't want that. So instead, here's fellow daytime talk show host Dr. Phil in a bikini!

*gives secretboardhunter his surprise*
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

Ill have a surprise
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http://s3.cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.asp?board=2383
Sapphire battler on the MSB "If he shoots ya, it's gunna hurt!" DK Rap in DK64

Oops. . . almost forgot about this place. It won't happen again.

As for your surprise. . .

*points to "free surprise with every purchase!" sign*

Surprises are for paying customers. You'll get nothing and like it. Or don't like it, whichever you prefer.
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"Nostalgia is a combination of a bad memory and a good imagination." - Anonymous

I'd like a job at your fine establishment. Gime 8000 a week and ill get mario,luigi,wario,peach,bowser,kirby,meta knight,king dede,50 waddle dees,link, zelda, and zero to work here for 500 a week each.
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I am Bass.exe and shall forever be better than Megaman.exe

Hmm. . . video game celebrities may be just the thing to attract business. I accept your offer.

You can be the assistant manager. Your first assignment is to assign the others jobs, and to make sure Kirby doesn't eat all the food. Or the customers.
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"Nostalgia is a combination of a bad memory and a good imagination." - Anonymous

mario-mascot
luigi/wario/peach/bowser/mario-musicians
zelda/15 waddle dees/king dede-bartenders
zero/link-entertainment
meta knight/me/kirby-bartenders

and ill add dk as the guy who hands out panflets+metaknight can take off his mask for money.

And ill make the bar open every day!
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It looks like you were beaten with an ugly stick by a very hairy man-kirby to DK on Perfect Kirby

Good work. Now all we have to do is wait. . .
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"Nostalgia is a combination of a bad memory and a good imagination." - Anonymous

Wait for whom?

*spooky music starts to play*

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"dude i hate cactuar I mean yer all like"Whoo look at the little cactus he cant do nothing" Then hes all like"1,000 needles" and you die"~darknesseternal

*bashes record player*

Now buy something or get out.
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"Nostalgia is a combination of a bad memory and a good imagination." - Anonymous

stupid,we could had pawned ,oh well,for breaking the stupid music law,you owe me and starman deluxe $74,356,435,US,no canadian garbage!
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KuribohGirl2, the one Yugioh Social board regular user that will be destroyed by me without effort.

Yeah! And no Canadian money either!
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"Nostalgia is a combination of a bad memory and a good imagination." - Anonymous

I'm waiting. . .
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(>;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

Bass got banned so I will use this and another called anti zoids
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I am bassv3exe. Owned, pawned, and distributed by Red Pepsi.
Owner of the Famicom Disc System PacMan board!

bump?
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.•º‡‡ )-(e®(\/)¡†ùã ‡‡º•.
Pink battler on the MSB

bump!
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( >;_;)>
Ignorant posts make Kirby cry. Please think before you post.

*posts*
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I've got ants in my pants!!! |\~<84>~/|
Now, let me have my fun. Let me hear your screams and suffering death cries.- Queklain, FFT

*dusts off cobwebs*
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So. . . uh. . . yeah.