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Change - January 18, 2003 | 02:26pm

"Pictures never change. Only the people in them do."

I have lots of pictures, believe me. And no, they don't change. The permanent colored-ink doesn't morph to fit the personalities of who the people are today. Nope. And the penned-yearbook signings cannot be erased. Pen does not erase. However, personalities can. They can morph, erase... change. Change. That's why we've all grown apart. Da Fab Five. Our site hasn't been updated in forever, and the entries that were there, are too old to even show up. But I remember, to some extent, writing the last entry. "I think I'm loosing you guys." That's what happened. Either I should be a fortune teller, or I was only stating the obvious. Remember the days of Da Fab Five? Memories don't change either. The people do... The 5 of us...

Jordan - I don't hang out with her anymore, really. The last time we've really "done something together" was when her "friends" left her stranded at the mall and my family took her home after we shopped. It was weird being with her, because we're not close anymore. The time before that, was last summer, and I took her to Darien Lake. Two summers ago, we did everything together. We were pretty much inseparable, and we spent almost everyday of that summer together. We rode bikes, got lost, went to KMart/Wendy's/DL, looked at RJ's owl. We created PAGES and PAGES of inside jokes, that still stand there today. But, we don't hang out anymore. She has new friends that she once told me were, quote, "stoners." Is that something YOU want to be Jordan? And so she was gone... But, underneath her occasional pants that will fit 5 people in each leg and her new friends, she seems like the same person.

Kim - She's the one that's most.. far out there. She drinks, has sex, smokes?, does drugs? We're not exactly sure. Did we see this coming? I didn't. Well, she's always had friends other than us 4, such as Joelle, that could have pulled her in a different direction than we would've. I've always had problems with Kim. We were never REALLY close, but I always considered her one of my best friends. We got semi-close in Washington, but we still didn't get along really well. We are so alike. And always were. Way back then we liked the same guys and to this day we have the same problems. We're both under pressure from our friends because we love our boyfriends. And she feels the same way I do about it. It was nice to talk to her. But she's WAY changed. I wouldn't hang out with her anymore.

Andrea - AKA Annnnndria, back in the day. I think everyone appreciates her a lot more now than we did then. I don't understand how we could be mean to someone we considered our best friend. That AIM convo, Anndriog, Paramecium? As far as change, I don't think Andrea has changed. I think she still always looks unhappy. And I hope I wasn't one of the people to make her seem that way. Maybe others think Andrea's changed, and she says she has, but I just don't see it.

Alex - I've gone through this a thousand times. I think she has changed. She's a lot more confident than she was before. But she's still a great person to have good, old-fashioned, immature fun with. Her tastes are different, close friends are different, attitude is different. Sometimes when I look at her I see Shannon. The way she bends her fingers and the way she talks are all too familiar. But besides that, she's more willing to take chances, more motivated, and we just don't like the same things anymore. I used to get upset when I was soo interested in web design and she comes along and all of a sudden some of her stuff is better than mine. She's good with graphics. And still is. But I don't think she's interested in what I am anymore. She's moved on to other things. I thought that we, together, were all out school spirit. Such as, not being able to miss a dance. Not being able to miss a night of fun. We went to dances AFTER dances in MS! (our regular dance and then YMCA!) And now, all of a sudden, she doesn't want to go to the Junior Prom. And among the reasons, one is, "Because they don't play my kind of music!" !?!?! That was never her excuse before. Before, she had no excuses. But she's different than I am now, and I have to accept that because it's not going to change. We don't hang out really, except school. We would have fun if we did, but we don't. I guess that's just how it is.

And lastly, Myself - I don't think I've changed much. Whenever this subject comes up, so does Andy. Yes, Andy is my best friend. I hang out with him most and depend on him the most. And I'm happy. But I still like pink. For me and Andy, that explains it all. The color. I don't think I act different. I think the only difference is who I hang out with. I've started becoming good friends with Danielle, too. She's a great role model. Patriotic, all for equality for women, believes in unicorns.. Danielle's great. Maybe my ideas/thoughts have changed too. I think I'm most excited about growing up. I want to be middle-aged, married, and have children. I want to watch those children grow up. I may miss the days of Da Fab Five, but I still have the memories, and I'm happy with how life is for me now. So, I guess the biggest change is that I have a new best friend and am not in that tight circle of 5 friends anymore. Which, barely anyone is. Circles shouldn't end. Should they? 2 points determine a line. Those are its end points. Circles don't have endpoints. I guess we were a line. Not a circle.

Life's "ink" is not permanent.

Pictures are.


I guess I'm finished. I guess it's finished.

Goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything I thought I knew.