Kevin
1. "Hey, Mikey, lets go jogging!"
2. "I just realized I look like "The Fonz" in this outfit"
3. "The real reason I don't like the getting wet is...well, have you guys ever seen a show called 'Ranma1/2'?"
4. "Is it all right if my 'Mountain Men Anonymous' group meets here this week?"
5. "Oh! Time for 'Dawson's Creek'!"
6. "That's enough Nintendo for today."
7. "I'm thinking of switching my major to Interpretive Dance."
8. "Tony, can't you see the speed limit! It's 35, you're going 36!"
9. "Sorry, I'm busy today. Working out."
10. "Poke me!"
11. "Settle down, all of you can ride shotgun if you take turns."
(Thanks go to Sniper for #8 and Grande for #9-11)
Tony
1. "No dessert for me, I'm on a diet."
2. "Forget Cindy, I love you, Brad!"
3. "Lets get jiggy with it!"
4. "Go shopping with you, Lisa? Sure I'd love to"
5. "Has anyone seen my red boots? The thigh-high vinyl ones?"
6. "I've got a hankering for rice cakes."
7. "Gee, this Nutrasweet really does taste like sugar."
8. "Gimmie some sugar, baby!"
9. "Al-roit! Football!"
10. "Hey! Get back here and say that to my face, punk!"
(Thanks to Rys Dragonsinger for #6, PunkTiger for #7, allan ecker for #8, and Sniper for #9&10)
Brad
1. "Guess who just joined the cheerleading squad!"
2. "I feel pretty. Oh so pretty."
3. "But caffeine is bad for you!"
4. "If I have to see one more plaid shirt I'll just scream!"
5. "I'm a little bit country, and a little bit rock and roll."
6. "I am the Lindenburg baby!"
7. "I'm thinking of switching the cap for a paisley-printed silk scarf."
8. "Hey, this is better than coffee!"
9. "I'm a bird. I'm a plane! I'm Suuuuper Brad!"
10. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell."
11. "I apologize, Kevin. We should mediate over our problem."
12. "Could you keep it down? I'm trying to install a new motherboard!"
(Thanks to Rys Dragonsinger for #9, and Grendel for #10-12)
Mikey
1. "Do these skates work with this top?"
2. "Wow, Lisa is cute!"
3. "I just ate an entire box of Ring-Dings!"
4. "If a 'Chickenwire' Dan calls for me, tell him I'll have the money by Tuesday."
5. "Check it out; an ant farm!"
6. "To-ga, To-ga, To-ga!"
7. "Yeah, I learned to knit while doing time in Attica."
8. "No, I'm not busy tonight."
9. "It's only due tomorrow, I have plenty of time."
10. "Nothing like a hot fudge sundae!"
11. "Hi Lisa, will you go out with me?"
12. "I'd better get my act together before I fail."
13. "Oo, tacos!"
14. "God, I hate this sweatshirt."
15. "What the $&_(@& do you think you're doing in my candy drawer? OUT!"
(Thanks to Rys again for #10-12, Grendel for #13&14, and Sniper for #15)
Cindy
1. "I moonlight as a waitress at 'Totally Topless Nude Carwash'."
2. "Guess where I just got tattooed!"
3. "I'm Chairman of the school's chapter of the NRA."
4. "I can't take this school anymore, I'm going to Clown College!"
5. "All this bathtub hooch and late-night partying is really started getting to me."
6. "Meep, meep. Meep, meep, the chicken goes; Meep, meep."
7. "Oh @$#*^"
8. "Tony, I've secretly been seeing Lisa behind your back."
9. "Anyone up for some paintball?"
10. "Ayup, Ah'm athinkin Ah should start usin;' mah normal accent."
11. "Loooooser."
12. "Go away, Tony."
(Rys asks that in lieu of thanks for #8-10; you donate some orphans to your favorite charity. You can thank Sniper for #11&12 if you really want)
Scott
1. "I'm three-time winner of the DeMontfort annual drag show."
2. "Kirk and Spock and totally a couple!"
3. "But dating would interfere with my studies!"
4. "I'll put my shirt on now."
5. "Look, Kev, we're in the same Interpretive Dance class."
6. "It's not easy, being green."
7. "Sorry, I can't go out with you."
8. "Well-endowed women are a real turn-off."
9. "Guess who just joined the local feminist chapter!"
10. "Lawsey, I've got to get into a looser set of clothes!"
11. "Hey ladies, wanna curl up by the fire and do algebraic equations?"
(Rys again for #8&9, Sniper for 10&11)
Lisa
1. "Mikey's just not my type."
2. "I'd like to change my major to accounting."
3. "I am the angel of death, the time of reckoning is upon us."
(A moose once bit my sister)
Dani
1. "Biff is hot!"
2. "Would you like fries with that?"
3. "I wonder how I'd look with a eyebrow ring?"
4. "Alright, I admit it: 'Rosemary's Baby' was based on me!"
5. "The clipboard was okay, but this mallet really gets results!"
6. "I've been thinking, maybe I should stop hitting people?"
7. "I'm secretly in love with Scott"
8. "Anything for you Kevin!"
9. "So what if there are candy wrappers in the common room?"
(Thanks to Rys for #7&8, and Sniper for #9 and his excellent work as head llama wrangler)
Biff
1. "I am a fully trained and licensed Obstetrician."
2. "I'm only in football for the cute uniforms."
3. "This piece of artwork reeks of unpretentious post-impressionism."
4. "And over here is my collection of romance novels."
5. "Football is just a hobby of mine, I'm really into metaphysics."
(Thanks to Rys for #4&5, and the great people at Monty Python ask that I stop ripping them off)
Ryan
1. "I've been thinking, Michelle, maybe I should get a life?"
2. "Mikey! I love you, man!"
(Thanks to Vince Suzakawa. Who didn't write any of these, but who laughed when I did)
Michelle
1. "Ryan, sometimes I think you love your evil transformer robots more than you love me!"
(I thank no one. If you wanted credit you should have done some work!)
Algernon
2. "Evil genius mastermind is just a sideline thing, I'm really a masseuse!"
3. "Aw the hell with it. This time I'm just gonna TP their dorm."
(Algernon wishes to thank the people of Lil' Debbie snack cakes, without which there would be significantly less of him here today)
Coach Carradine
1. "Alright, so we didn't make the playoffs, no big deal."
(Thanks to Will Dire, for #1, and also for not being Rys Dragonsinger)
Kim Greenwald
1. "Why, yes. I'd love to go on a date with you...Kevin."
(Thanks again to Will Dire, to the people at Lil' Debbie for not suing me, and to Vince again, also for not suing me.)
