This is what I wrote this morning at 9:30 in English class: When I'm ready to be in a relationship one won't come along (well not with someone I want to be in a relationship wiht.) Kenny and Justin know what I'm talking about! I've been thinking about some people a lot lately, one... Justin this hint is for you, FantasyLand; I have to say it that way cause I've used the person't name and where the live... all together!! I've also thougth about someone that used to work wiht me...Justin, here you go... one word Altoids; you laughed at me, but it's funny haow much I fell for them! Kenny, this one is your's... the only friend that I have a cruch on that goes back several years and you only know about it... extra I just told them!! (Not that I have a cruch on them, but you know what I mean!) Hopefully they don't read this for sometime now so they don't know about the crush. OH WELL!!!
Update on other things, Valentine's Day was uneventful; I worked that morning and babysat Carson that night. Other than my earlier stated problem everything is good....uneventful, so nothing bad has happened, but nothing great has either.
Now this is how I feel: I don't deserve the friendship Justin gives me!! I did something that hurt him a lot today, and all I had to do was keep talking and walking and he would have never seen her.... the whole ride from Wal-Mart to my house was pretty much silent. I'm sorry Justin, I won't ever be able to say that enough, but Elisha is a great girl.... so stick with her!! Bye
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Hiya, what's up? Not too much I hope!! Well, at least nothing bad!! Justin is home, just thought I'd let everyone know!! I spent all day with him yesterday, we had a good time and he talked me into something that I'd been thinking about for a while now anyway!! He has me really, really considering the Air National Guard, I'm going to tell him I want to go talk to a recruiter, cause I want to have someone to go with me... I'm chicken like that. I think this is something that I'm really going to do, and the not much will stop me!! Well, that's all the update from me...bye!
Saturday, February 8, 2003
b>Hello everyone!!!!!! I have a few questions... If humans have the capacity to forget, why don't we remember the things we need to and forget the things we should? I want to direct this update to one person; I don't know if she still reads this, but I'm hoping!! I want to renew or I would really be happy with starting ove a friendship. First, off I take back everthing I've ever directed toward Autumn, well everything that was meant to hurt or did hurt; I had my reasons for that then, but now I question many things. Autumn, can we still have a friendship.... after we put each other through some pretty rough times? I hope you can at least find it in your heart to forgive me for everything that I've said or done to you. I think that we dealt too much with a thrid party; we neglected to talk to each other, but then again I guess we should have trusted one another more than we did!! I hope you will anwser my questions, but if you don't life goes on; however, I did value you friendship very much. I look back now at some of the things we did with each other and all I can do is laugh, because we sure did some crazy things, but I've exxperienced so much more now and so have you; these experiences have changed us as people!! I would like to get to know the NEW Autumn; yet, I sit here and think do you want the same from me? Bye everyone...
Friday, January 24, 2003
Christmas Day.... The only person I have thought about most of the day is, Justin. He left last Wednesday at 12:55 p.m., I was at the airport when he had to go. I cried, I don't completely know why, still. Partly because he is my best friend and I might not get to see him for another 6 months, and another is I'm just going to miss him; I love him to pieces!! I really lost control when he turned round and waved, I couldn't move my arm to wave back, I was in emotional shock!! Well, update later, bye... Oh and I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and has a great New Year!! I love you all!!
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Well, I think I've mentioned that I like someone at work, right? Well, I fell for them even more after last night; we talked I learned a lot, and they didn't learn much of anything from me, cause they didn't ask! But, like I said I fell even more, I think we are now officially into crush status!! Bye
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
GREAT NEWS!!!!!! No, I'm not dating anyone, but that would be great news, but no I'm not; still working on that one! Anyways, to the really great news, Ms. Chisholm, pictured above, is ready to release her second solo album!!! It's called Reason, ummm.... I haven't formed an opinion about the title yet, give me time!! And the first single off of Reason is going to be "Here It Comes Again", the picture above is Ms. Melanie taking a break during the video shoot. The album is due out March 10, 2003, and the single due out February 24, 2003; but you can hear it on her site from January 6, 2003 on!! So pop on over there on the 6th and check it out!! I have a link to the site somewhere on here, well here it is, I forgot how to put a link up, but you can copy and paste. www.northern-star.co.uk Bye...
Wednesday,December 4, 2002
BOOB!!!!!!Sorry, when I saw that picture that's what I thought; you know from the movie Mr. Deeds?! Anyway, some will believe me, others will not on that subject.... Ok, I'll stop that there!! Well, I really am writing to say....isn't it strange how when people play a major role in your life and they suddenly don't anymore,(i.e. they leave for a short while, move, or decide they don't like you anymore) how someone else can take their place, or you just go with the flow and find someone else? Well, that's happened to me a lot recently, and it's about to again! I only wish I knew who is going to be there, when this happens. Well, I would like to say hello to a few people, Johnnie, Kim, Justin, Kenny, Amanda, and Megan....hey everybody!!
Monday, December 2, 2002
It happened again!! Why does it hurt so bad? I want to be in relationship with someone, and when I think that there is a possiblity, they give me the I just want to be friends speech, and I'm in love with someone else speech....both times this has happened!! But it's all in the game of love isn't it? Well, it sucks, and I think I'm giving up on it for a very long time!!
Saturday, November 30, 2002
The game of love.... it's a hard one, probably one of the hardest in life!! One minute you think you're in love the next you're not. Why are we so driven to love someone other than family and friends? Are we just greedy and want more people to love us? Or do we just need to know that there are people in the world that will love us without being forced? On that I'll go to something a bit different.... I like someone at work, I don't get anything done with them working at the same time I do, I just stand round looking at them. I do my best to get a smile from them when I can, cause I love that smile, it can brighten my day!! Well, I'll go now... Oh Hey, Justin!! Bye
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
I feel that I have no friends in my life, which is almost true... I don't have a single friend that I can call up and go out with, so I don't have friends!! Well, why do I even waste my time with things like this, and thinking what I'm going to get so-and-so for Christmas, why?
Sunday, Novemeber 10, 2002
Here are some lyrics from a Madonna song, "What It Feels Like For A Girl"
Silky smooth
Lips as sweet as candy, baby
Tight blue jeans
Skin that shows in patches
Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak
Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby
Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting
Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less
Bye
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
I'm having that feeling that something big is about to happen, right now, I wish someone would come into my life...that's what I need right now, and really, really good friend, or to be in a relationship. That's what I hope anyway, I don't even remember the last time I felt like this. Ok, quick update on everything... job is going well, went on a great trip to Columbus,MS, if you're ever in that area go check out Fantasyland, went to visit Kim on that trip as well.. bye the way "Hello, Kim!! Oh, I can't forget Kovin!!", ummm... I went out on a few dates with a guy for work, let me add, never a good idea and I knew this, but did it anyway, well we aren't going on dates anymore, not heartbroken over it either. Well, I don't know what else to say... Carson is getting big, and talking more everytime I see him, which is hilarious most of the time, cause he usually says things backwards, but he's learning more and more everyday! Bevill (a.k.a "HELL") is alright, I have "B's", which is good, I'm glad I can keep my GPA up still!! Well, I want to take time now to say "Hiya to some people...Kenny, Justin, Amanda, Kim(again), if I left you out email me and I'll be sure to put you up next time I update! Bye
Monday, October 21, 2002
P.S. I put up another guest book, I thought I could try that again; if you know what happened last time, then you know why I say that, if not oh well!! So pop on over and sign it!! Bye
"Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover..." anyone can take this one!!Bye
Wednesday, October 9, 2002
Here's an update for the months of August and September, two very eventful months! Well, I don't know really where to start.... I got started in my classes at HELL (Bevill), only two of them cause I'm lazy like that! I got a job...finially!! I like what I'm doing, I also like the people I work with, all excellent people!! For those of you who knew I had a boyfriend over the summer...well I don't anymore. For those of you who know about my car....well I have it back, and you can't tell that it's even been crashed, thank goodness!!! I would also like to inform everyone on my battle with depression... well, I'm a lot better than I was, and I'm off of anti-depressants, hopefully I won't ever have to take them again!!
Now, I would like to take the time to say something to some individual people.
Kim, I'm glad that we can be friends, althought I wish... well you know. Just for you to know, I loved meeting you, and I hope to see you again soon. I wish you the best with the National Guard, and I want you to know, if you need me to do anything, just let me know!!
Amanda, Kenny, and Megan, I'm glad the three of you could/can do what you want. I'm proud of all of you and love you more than you will ever know!
Autumn, you have major problems you need to solve, but I'm glad I'm not going to be round for you to do so! Please, leave me out of you problems, I've not done anything to you; so quit blaming me for something I didn't do!!
Bye!
Sunday, October 6, 2002
Everyone loves you; Allison loves you, Amanda loves you. If I were given the chance to know you, I would love you! I will tell you this, I can't get you out of my head, and I like you more than you will ever know! I can still remember the way your hands felt, how you hugged me, how you calmed me, and the one single thing I can't stop thinking about; your kiss! I remember the softness and the fulness of your lips; I remember everything, in detail, about that night. So, if someone in Millport is reading this, I hope that one day you will share the same feelings, because I would love to just kiss you again! Then, of course, I wouldn't be satisfied, but at least the memory would last longer! Ha Ha!!! Oh, by the way if anyone reading this thinks the Amanda mentioned is Amanda Hosey, sorry, but you are wrong.... try again!!!! Bye
Friday, August 30, 2002
P.S. Kenny, I couldn't resist... HELP ME!!!!!(or we could always go back to my first thought.... just shot me!!!!)
Ok, you know how you can act one way around a person, then something will happen, like you kiss, and you just loosen up around them. Well, this happened to me Saturday, and now I can't think about anything else, just that kiss and hug, and sitting in my car talking, and the other kisses and hugs. Ok, all I can think about is that person is Millport, Alabama; by the way hey ***. I can't put your name up for well reasons we both know!! *** I like you and I hope to hear from you soon, maybe even see you again!? Well, if anyone can offer me any advice, help, or treatment let me know. Ta-ta
Monday, August12, 2002
Isn't it strange how you can want someone, but you know that there is no way in hell you can have them? Well, I have always been like this. Last night I had a dream about the person I want but can't have, and well it was very nice, all that we did was kiss, and they told me that they liked me too. Ok, sure it was a dream, but dreams do come true!! Kenny, I bet you can guess who I'm talking about, ah?
Sunday, July 28, 2002
Hey, everybody!!! I got the internet back!!! I'll update properly when I get everything back the way it was. Bye
Ok, I'm back!! I needed a break from letting everyone get inside my head, plus I had to adjust to this medication I starting taking; I didn't want to put anything up that I would regret later on. Anyways, I going to take this update to let specific people know how I feel about them, and stuff like that!!
Autumn, I hope that we can become friends again. I hope that we can get to know each other, since we've changed a bit, and get back to doing things together. Of course, if you would like that as well!!
Megan, I wish you luck at Berry this fall, and I hope I get to see you before you start your new life and I start mine!! I wish I had more time to get to know you better, but everything happens for a reason, eh?
Kenny, you've been excellent to me, but when you changed schools you kind of got a new life. I hope we can spend more time together this summer, if you're not going to be too busy!!
Amanda, what can I say, we've become close friends recently, and I've had a great time with you!! I hope we don't lose touch over the summer!!
Justin, I know that things are kind of strange between us, but I'm sorry for acting like a bitch toward you after we broke up; I think that we both just swallowed our pride and started a conversation, that is the best thing I've ever done!! I may disagree with you a lot, but you're lots of fun, and crazy!!
I would like to thank all of you, you have all been a huge influence in my life and I will always remember you no matter where I go!! I love all of you!!
Wednesday, May 1, 2002
What do you do when you have to see someone, that drives you crazy (good crazy), almost everyday? You are forced to spend time around them, look at them, and talk to them; and you just want to them that they mean a lot to you!! What do you do or would you do? Okay, maybe I should be saying me, but I think most people would already know that.....so moving on. Friday night I went to see Les Miserables with Upward Bound and Amanda got to go; I had fun because I got to talk to Amanda a lot, which usually for some reason doesn't happen often. Well, I guess that's all I have to say today. No, there is one other thing, thank you Autumn for letting everyone know that I like someone!! No it didn't bother me, but I can't tell you who it is, for several reasons, and I won't get into those either!! Bye
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine, and I was open about my private life like I have never been before!! Ok, I just thought I would share that! Have you ever wanted something and/or someone SO much your heart could break? Well, I think I'm getting pretty close to that point. Tuesday night I went to my sister's softball game and someone I have liked for a long time was there, I couldn't help but look their way... a lot!! Well, I guess that's all... Bye!
Thursday, March 21, 2002
I have no friends!! I don't have anyone outside of my family that can say that they really care about me! I don't have anyone that wants to include me in anything!
I need help.... I don't want to feel like this forever... I don't want to be in denial about my life and people and things around me anymore!
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUTUMN!!!!
Sunday, Carson did the silliest thing when I went to see him. I was about to leave and I had put him on the couch, so I could make a speedy getaway. Well, he starts screaming my name, " Nonya, Nonya!" Then he runs to the door, puts on my shoes, and starts trying to open the door, saying "Out, out!" Ruth, his grandmother, asked him where he was going. He said, "Home" "You are at home", Ruth said. Carson said, "Nonya" Well, after all that he ended up going outside with me, and didn't even cry when I left, because he was going to get ice cream. Well, I don't really have anything else to say, because well my life is very uneventful!! Bye
March 12, 2002
