My Story

Well wasn't I wrong! I also sang in my church choir & quite often the choir director would cancel our choir rehearsals & not inform everyone. So there I was- my parents had left after dropping me off so I had to wait until they got home so I could call them to come back & pick me up. (This was before everyone owned a cell phone). Anyway, after I called them I still had to wait awhile for them to drive back so I meandered around & wouldn't you know I saw the same guy walking around. Of course I didn't want him to see me so I walked away. Why? I don't know. I was 13! My parents picked me up eventually & I went home.

A month or so later I was at cheerleading practice with Teri & I saw him again! At this point I was tired of referring to him as "that really cute guy that I always see walking around the church, but is way too old to even notice me" so from there on out I referred to him as “Hot Guy.” (Total Friends episode moment). Anyway, because of all the obvious reasons why we'd never meet much less date I put it all out of my mind & I didn't see him after that.

You obviously know that's not the end of my story because if it was then I'd have no reason to be making this webpage..., but I do so I'll get on with it. I was still part of my church choir & my choir director was still canceling our choir rehearsals & not letting everyone know so I was once again stuck at the church. Who do you think walks by... you guessed it- “Hot Guy” all smiling & beautiful. He walked past me & smiled courteously & walked into the church rectory. I probably looked like a fool gawking & stunned, but in my defense I was taken off guard! Whatever, he's old I reminded myself & I searched in my purse for a quarter to call home (back when a payphone was only a quarter)! What! No quarter! What do I do? Wait two hours to be picked up, call collect & have my parents reprimand me for “not being prepared for emergencies & carrying change.” You didn't think I'd walk in the church rectory & possibly make a fool out of myself because “Hot Guy” was in there do you? Well do YOU? Unfortunately, I had no other choice. So I composed myself & after checking how I looked in a glass door I walked in.

To my surprise he worked there. Great. (Said sarcastically). “My choir director canceled rehearsal. May I use the phone to call home” I asked quiet poised & pedantically (despite my inside twists & turns. Being face to face with him now, he was extremely handsome). “Sure” he smiled “what's the number?” I gave him the number & he handed me the phone. While it rang he said “Sorry, not that I think you're going to call Europe, but I have to dial the number, it's policy because some people make absurd calls.” I shook my head “No problem.” I told my parents to come back & pick me up & then thanking him I handed him back the phone. I started to walk out when he asked “You're getting picked up?” “Yeah. My parents are coming.” (That's right I thought, you go ahead & tell him that mommy & daddy are picking you up because you're too young to drive unlike him who's like 50 years older than you & would never even think of going out with you. He's so beautiful he would obviously have a girlfriend anyway)! “Well, you're welcome to have a seat & wait in here if you'd like” he began. Then it hit me- he knows my number now... not that he'd call me, but he has my number. After an odd silence due to the voices in my head talking to me I said “No. Thanks. I need some fresh air.” (Fresh air, I thought. “Hot Guy” asks you to stay inside & you need “FRESH AIR!” How stupid do you get? I just gave up the opportunity to talk to “Hot Guy” & possibly find out things about him- like his age, if he has a girlfriend, I don't know- something at least. No. I needed “fresh freakin' air.” How much fresher does it get I was in the same room with “Hot Guy!”) “Okay” he said “have a good day. God bless you.” “You too” I said. Heaven knows I need all the freaking blessings in the world!

Since I attended public school instead of catholic school I had to take special classes at church before I could be confirmed. By this time I was now 14 & in 9th grade. I was waiting at the church outside the rectory for my confirmation class to start when I saw “Hot Guy” through the window working away inside. He didn't see me though. He never did. I'd secretly follow him to see where he'd go when ever I saw him when I was at the church. Anything just to look at him or find out more about him. (Yeah... you could call it stalking, but in my defense again, I was only 14)!

A week or so later my choir rehearsal was once again canceled & I was left having to call home. It was early December & it was 60° outside. I was getting ready to use the payphone when “Hot Guy” came out from the church rectory & said “Do you need to use the phone?” “No” I said shaking my head slightly & then realizing I was standing by a payphone with a quarter in my hand said “It's nothing. I'm just calling my parents to pick me up.” “It's cold out here” he replied “why don't you go inside where it's warm. I'll be back in a minute.” Taken quite off guard I smiled & shook my head “Thanks, but actually I think I'm going to go to the chapel.” “Okay” he answered & left. I gave him enough time to be out of sight & I quickly dialed the phone. I had lied & used going to the chapel as an excuse, I was going to hell I thought when my mom picked up. I told her that choir rehearsal was canceled yet again & I needed to be picked up. Infuriated that this kept happening my mom told me that I “needed to speak to the choir director about this & that this can't keep happening...” & while I tried to hurry her up because it was freezing I saw “Hot Guy” coming back my way. Freaked because I had told him I wasn't going to call home I was going to go to the chapel instead I hung up on my mom & jumped in a bunch of palm trees (despite my enormous fear of lizards) & waited for him to go back into the church rectory. When the coast was clear I slinked out & waited for my mom on the other side of the church.

I didn't see “Hot Guy” except for when practice was canceled or I was waiting for my confirmation class to start & I gathered up enough courage to go into the church office (mostly because it was freezing outside). One time though, I was having some problems & I told my confirmation teacher about it. After much persuasion she took me into the church rectory where it was warm & quiet & asked “Hot Guy” to hand me a tissue. (How embarrassing. Here I am sniveling & crying with “Hot Guy” right there. I felt so immature. He looked genuinely concerned though). My confirmation teacher ended our talk by saying with a smile “…and you can always talk to him if you have a problem. He's a nice boy.” I looked at “Hot Guy” & gave a half smile.

In March our church choir was rehearsing (it wasn't canceled) for the Easter vigil when people were baptized, received communion, or were confirmed such as myself. I was sick as anything this particular day. I had the works: fever, throwing-up, etc. I went to choir rehearsal though because we were covering important material for Easter & I didn't want to be left in the dark. At the end of rehearsal we were all getting ready to leave when my friend, (& confirmation sponsor), Laura said to me “Don't look now.” “Why” I asked. I had talked to her before about “Hot Guy” so she knew who he was & she also knew that I would not want him to see me looking the way I felt. It just so happened though that he had just walked in the room to speak with my choir director. I kept my head down until he left & then got up to leave myself. I was heading out of the room talking to Laura when “Hot Guy” came back in. I completely ignored what Laura was saying & instead of looking away, I, in astonishment that I had such bad luck, stared at him straight in the eyes as he past right by me looking me straight in the eyes too. What are you doing I thought! Look away! LOOK AWAY! He had left. Why did he come back? I was in sweatpants & a sweater & I hadn't brushed my hair. I know why I was staring at him, but he was probably starring at me because he didn't think a person could look that bad! I left the room & Laura followed after.

After that disheartening evening I was desperate to redeem myself. One day when we had choir rehearsal (that again wasn't canceled) I bribed one of the younger choir members to go into the church rectory to call her mom & tell her something- ANYTHING! I just wanted “Hot Guy” to see me not ugly & sick. It's pathetic I know, but what was I to do? So we went in- & she called- & I smiled, & I was happy again.

It was April 14th, the Easter vigil now & I was being confirmed. I was with Laura when she pointed over to the choir (we weren't singing because of my confirmation). It was “HOT GUY!” HE SANG! Oh, God! That was it! He was perfect! I had to know more about him. Long hair & music were my weaknesses & he had both!

I didn't see him again until September 16th when I was singing at a mass for our pastor who was becoming Monsignor. I was sitting in the garden after mass waiting for my dad to pick me up when I saw him. He kept looking at me & I very confidently didn't look away, but smiled. I thought about it for awhile until I decided I was going to finally introduce myself & talk to him. I began to get up & walk over to him when a priest began to talk to him & then he walked away. I went back & sat down disheartened when I saw him again. He was with an older man now. I didn't want to speak to him with someone around & I debated it over & over in my head so long that by the time I decided it was time & I didn't care... my dad had arrived. I took a deep breath & got into the truck without talking to "Hot Guy"..., but I had made up my mind I would.

Wednesday, September 19th I went into the church rectory looking my very best. I needed community service hours for school & it was also about time I get some kind of job. I walked up to the desk & “Hot Guy” greeted me. “I was wondering if there was an opening for a job” I asked taking my sunglasses off. I put my keys on the front desk so he would think I was old enough to drive... which I wasn't (I was only 15). “Actually, there is” he replied. “We can always use help at the front desk or in the accounting office.” “Great” I said. (I was acting quite mature & calm surprisingly). He looked in a file folder & pulling out a job application handed it to me. “Just fill this out stating your available hours and contact information” he told me. He handed me a pen & flipping my hair to one side I began filling out the form. I was thinking to myself as I wrote: I'm so hot with my heels & stylish clothes. I look much older than I... WHAT? WHAT’S THIS? AGE? WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT MY AGE? ISN'T MY NAME, ADDRESS & PHONE NUMBER SUFFICIENT! I paused. Do I lie & put another age? No, I'm filling out a church application form. Reluctantly, I put 15 & handed him the form and pen. Wouldn't you know that's the first thing he noticed. “You're 15” he asked nonchalantly, but oddly. “I thought you were older.” I smiled. “It's the shoes. I’m really only 5 feet tall.” (Great. Why don't I just tell him my mommy's waiting in the car too)! He smirked. “Okay then. When can you come in?” “Tomorrow at this time, I guess.” I wanted to say NOW, but that would seem obviously desperate. “See you then. God bless” he replied. “You too” I responded. “Oh, by the way” he began “my name is Frank.” “Lindsay. Very nice to meet you, Frank” & I walked out the door.

I had been home about 30 minutes when the phone rang. It was Frank & he wanted to know if I could come in today. Today! I thought. This was too easy. God was totally giving me the hookup. I didn't even have to seem desperate about coming in today... he was asking me! “Sure” I said. “If you can't it's okay” he replied. “NO.” I stated almost sounding too eager “It's no problem.” “Okay then. I'll see you in a little while” he continued & I hung up the phone. After fixing myself up again I left.