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A Princesses Blog
Monday, 26 July 2004
Frog free
This weekend was crazy good. I had so much fun with Paul and his family. It was really busy, and I'm tired now, but it was really nice. I liked meeting his family, and I like that he wanted me to go with him....I'm not his invisible stay at home girlfriend. If my family did anything remotely exciting I'd bring him to it for sure, but we are really boring and never do anything.

On Friday we drove for like 7 hours to London for his cousins stag. It was fun. I had a Jello shooter-I didnt like it very much, it was too jello-scummy for me. I didnt win anything, which sucked. I never win anything so I wasnt very surprised. I seem to have bad luck with game thingys. Anyway, we didnt get back to his aunt and uncles until 2:30 am. I was soooo tired. i got woken up at 9:45 by a dog licking my face, it sucked. We had to get up early to go to Whitby. Everyone was amazed that I ate almost all of my breakfast. I do eat.....I do. Breakfast is like my big meal and stuff anyway, so its all good. I'm a small girl and I dont eat that much .I guess my family is used to me not eating like ever so they dont comment on when I actually do eat a lot. It's not that I dont like eating, I'm just never hungry....and I'm extremely picky so chances are if you made it, I dont like it. But it's all good , I like pretty much everything as long as it doesnt have cheese or some kind of sea food related product on it.

On Saturday we went to his families croquet tournament. I thought I might be ok at croquet...I mean how hard can it be???? Well, I stunk. I'm really bad. I dont like croquet so much. I almost lost, but I didnt. When you lose you get these fugly frogs that you have to keep in your front yard all year long. I couldnt stand that humiliation on my first meeting with his family. But I didnt lose, so its all good. I was playing against two kids....but that doesnt matter. I kicked their asses and I dont feel bad.

I got to sleep with Paul on Saturday night.....well not all night, he went to the couch in the morning just incase someone walked down....bad news. But it was all good. I like sleeping with him. I always sleep better when I'm with him... it's really comforting and warm. Ahhhhh. Nice

So we woke up and then we started to drive home. Man it was a long drive. Well not really, but we spent a majority of the weekend in the car, so it felt long.

It was a really fun weekend. I've spent every weekend with him since like mid june. I hope he wont get sick of me..... I wont get sick of him, I think that would be impossible.

Anyway, whenever I'm happy, shite goes down. It's the black cloud that follows me around again. I didnt get the mentor job. That really really sucks. I wanted it, and I thought I'd get it. My interview went really well and she was really happy with me. I'm still kinda upset about it. It would have been a really good opportunity for teachers college applications but whatever. She said to try again next year, I dont know if I will or not. I dont like rejection very much. Today I found out that my last day of work will be the 13th. Thats early than I expected. That kinda blows too. Not that I love my job or anything, I like the money, and not having to do much. So now I have to go find another job cuz I didnt get the mentor thingy and now I dont have this job to come to. I need $$. I dont think I'll have enough to pay for a full year, and I cant get a student loan so I dont know what's going on. I still dont even know if I got in this year. It would be the icing on the cake if I didnt. I cant handle any more bad stuff. I dont want to go into another blah mood. WHATEVER.

Anyway, I'm sitting here, doing nothing. THey are meeting with the new person thats taking my job. I'm going to be conceited and say I'm way prettier than she is and I have nicer shoes and nicer clothes. I hope my dad didnt hire her for full time, if he did I'll be pissed cuz he said my job isnt full time and he'd be wasting his money hiring someone for all the time. Anyway I dont want to think about that. I'm going to get some chocolate and talk on the phone then get back to my stupid billing stuff.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 12:09 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 26 July 2004 12:43 PM EDT
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Thursday, 22 July 2004
Roses
OMG. I opened the door last night and Paul had brought me roses. I was shocked. There was no reason, and he really didnt need to do that. They are gorgeous. I gasped when he handed them to me because I was really taken aback. No one has ever done that for me. I still can't believe it. It was soooo nice of him. Thats what makes him the perfect boyfriend. ahhh I love him. I hope that I can make him as happy as he makes me feel everyday. I'm such a lucky girl and I think about it all the time. I dont know what I did to deserve what he gives me. I'm such a plain and average girl and he goes out of his way for me all the time. I'm being really mushy, and I could go on for pages and pages, but I guess I'll stop here for now.

I slept in today. My dad drove in to work, so I didnt wake up until 7:45. It was nice. there is a huge bowl of mini crispy crunches on the desk- they wont be there at the end of the day. I've already had three and I've only been here for 45 minutes. I like chocolate...alot. I dont need real food, just chips and chocolate once a day and I'm set. Chocolate does have caffien in it, so I know Im going to have wicked heart palpitations, but it's all good, its worth it. They dont last long anyway...most of the time.

I'm going with Paul to London and Whitby. Whitby is my home town:) I haevnt been there in a long time. I'm excited to see what it's like after 8 years. We usually stop off on the way to Toronto and stuff, but I havent been there in a while. I miss everyone that I went to school with and I wonder what they've been up to since I've left. Im sure they've all gone away for university cuz there isnt one in Whitby. They probably don't remember me seeing that I left when we were in grade 5, but I still think about them sometimes. I had lots of good times there. I was a weird kid though. I was pale and skinny. I never ate my peanut butter sandwiches at lunch and kids used to call me a stick and anorexic..which I'm not and never was. I did skating like 4 times a week, and I was 11! They used to make fun of my overalls, they werent from the gap so I guess they werent good enough or something. Anyway I dont want to see those people. Maybe sam and jessie one day, they lived one street down from us and we played with them all the time. It was fun. Anyawy it's all good. I'm nervous about going. I want them to like me. We'll see.

Anyway I should get back to work or whatever. I've really got nothing to do. I'll find something. If not, I'll mail stuff. I'm up to 859 envelopes sent.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 9:38 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 21 July 2004
So as I sit here eating my peach I begin to think.....
Shit I'm bored. Yesterday was crazy busy, and today there is nothing. It sucks. All I do on days like today is avoid folding letters and read stuff online. Not very fun, but I'm getting paid so I guess it's all good.

This peach isn't very good. I like them when they are crunchy and sour. I guess I'm weird that way. I like them far from ripe and when they are really juicy, not in between like this one is. I guess I'm crazy.

I have my interview with Susan today. I'm kinda nervous. I hate interviews, I always worry that I wont say the right think and I'll sound stupid. We'll see what happens.

Only one more day of work and then I'm done for the weekend! I have Friday off so I can go with Paul to his families croquet thingy. I'm nervous about that too. I want them to like me. I dont want them to think that he has a total loser for a girlfriend.

Honestly the people in my office must think I dont understand french or something. They stand here and talk away. Ummm, just because I refuse to speak french to you doesnt mean that I dont understand that you are talking about me! No!! YOUR FRIEND ISNT GETTING HER JOB BACK! SHE'S STUPID! AHHHHHHH. THe rage.

Whatever. This is dumb. I wish my job had an actual purpose. I'm gonna go fold stuff. THis blows. I'll write again later.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 10:32 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 20 July 2004
Proof reading is a bitch
I hate it. I've spent the whole day reading over ads. It blows. It's pretty boring, and I'm not nearly done them yet. Whatever.

It's really nice out. I went outside at lunch today with my dad. He bought me lunch today and didnt stand me up. Nice, I didnt feel like eating microwaved pasta. I liek when he buys me lunch cuz its too expensive for me to buy it everyday. I'm not buying anything all week...I mean it this time. i got my first Master Card bill today, so no spending until friday when I get paid. My super retarded expensive haircut is making me broke. But I look good so maybe its ok. That was really concieted of me to say, well my hair looks ok.

The stupid people in my office are driving me crazy again!They aren't the sharpest tools in the shed. I'm still fixing the mistakes that the person who worked my job before me made. Honestly. My dad just walked by my desk and told me he could see my high lights, hehehe. He paid me the moneys to go get them done.

I hate when people on the phone call me Ma'am. I dont think my voice sounds like a sixty year olds! Ma'am is totally for old people. That really bugs me. I hope I dont sound like a geriatric. Oh well, most people who call in here are really old, so I'm guessing their going deaf anyway.

Well, this entry was a whole lot of nothing, so I'm going to go proof read stuff again. What fun.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 1:05 PM EDT
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Monday, 19 July 2004
Last time I checked I wasn't 5 years old!
Why are my parents treating me like a baby? I thought for once I'd tell them the truth and tell them that I wanted to go camping with Paul. They got all weird and told me now cuz they know how guys think and blah blah blah. They say I'm too young. Hello, I'm almost 19!They said they'd be fine with letting me go if I was older. Ummm not much will change in 2 years.... I'm so frustrated. My mom said she wouldnt have cared if I didnt tell her where I was going. How much sense does that make? They'd rather me tell them nothing then be honest. If that's not retarded then I dont know what is. They said they trust me and everythihng, then why are they being dumb? I guess they are just being parents. Man it blows. I;d like to say when I have kids I wont be like that, but I know I will. And I know that they are just doing this because of...whatever, but it still sucks. I'll just have to lie and go anyway.

I feel bad for Paul. He shouldnt be burdened with my age. Whatever. I'm frustrated and mad with stuff. I'm going to vent with some garage door tennis...old school style. I used to play that when I was angry in high school. Nothing makes you feel better than pounding the crap out of your garage door with a tennis ball. And seeing that it is pouring rain...that'll make it better.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 8:24 PM EDT
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Nothing beats a cookie break
I made cookies, now I'm eating them. Fack I've been busy. Finally. I'm not complaining. It's nice to be busy for a change. My dad is here, so I actually get to do my own work instead of ppl handing me theirs. There are so many papers on my desk and cards that I have to mail out. People are lazy mofo's. They wait until the last minute to put in an ad. Today is the last day and they are flooding me with their stupid emails. "I didnt know the deadline was today." "It doesnt say anything about deadlines" DUH! Its on the front page of the paper, on the website and its on my voice mail. Sheesh. Some people. They are as dumb as a bag of rocks.

Anyway I got stood up at lunch today by my father. How rude. LOL. Someone came for a lunch meeting and I got the shaft. Jeeze. I asked him when I left for work if I should make a lunch or if he would take me out and he said he;d take me out. Oh well. He still gave me money so its all good.

I got Friday off:):) YAY. I'm happy that I could.

Wow I was staring off into space. I tend to do that sometimes.

I got an interview for the mentor thing. I hope I can be one. It sounds like alot of fun. I should be able to fit it into my schedule but we'll see. I dont want to think about school, it makes me too anxious.

Anyway I should get back to work. I've eaten alot of cookies and did nothing for long enough. I'm leaving early today because I got here early with my dad so I dont care what he says, we are both leaving.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 3:46 PM EDT
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Sunday, 18 July 2004
P is for Perfect
Wow, this weekend.

Friday: I worked, then at around 6 Steph and Kristina came over to keep me company. We ended up sitting in Chapters for an hour and a half reading wedding mags and sex books. We have our entire lives, well more specifically weddings, planned out. I'm third in line...if that ever happens. Anyway we worked it all out and I have everything worked out in my head. We also decided that we should go see a psychic or something. We want to know whats going to happen in the future. Kristinas boyrfriends sister went to an angel reader and she said it was really good. Maybe we'll do that. I'll put that on the list after our spa day...never happen. We went to see Kristina and Steph's new houses. It was fun. Then Kristina left with Adam. They are fighting alot. Adam is cheating on Kristina and they arent very happy with eachother. It's really sad. Steph stayed over night and we sat and talked and watched Sex and the City. It was really girly and fun.

Saturday: Steph woke up at 8 so I decided I might as well get up and start my day. I cleaned my house and made sure I look pretty for when Paul came over. He got here at 1 and we relaxed all day. I made him supper. I'm very proud of myself. I had it planned for a long time. I picked out the recipes and bought all the stuff ahead of time. I did everything except cut the raw chicken. I hate raw meat, it makes me want to barf, so he did that for me. That's the only thing he did all weekend. I think the dinner was alright, it didnt kill us so thats a good sign. I wanted the night to be so special for him. He deserves everything that I could possibly give him. I made the supper and cleaned it up and I didnt want him to move from the couch. It was so nice. I wish we could have more weekends like this. Doing our own thing, sleeping together and being together all the time. I love him so much, and I always want him to know that. We went to sleep and then we woke up, together. THere is no other word to describe it other than amazing.

Today: We woke up and I made him waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. I was exercizing my inner Martha, I hope I did her justice. I made him peanut butter cookies too. It sucked that he had to leave so I could go get my brother and dad from the airport, but oh well.

I had such a good time this weekend. It was amazing, perfect....whatever you want to call it. Everything was so good. Ahhhh! He makes me so happy, and he made this weekend wonderful, even if he doesnt take any credit for it. I want to give him whatever he wants, and I want him to be happy. I know we wont have another weekend alone for a while, but this weekend and all the ones before this totally make up for it. There hasnt and wont be a time when I'm with him that Im not having fun or smiling. I'm so mushy, but I love it....

I was reading my old journals last night. I was a crazy girl back in high school. All I talked about was boys....chasing boys, stalking boys....yikes. I was quite the obsessive girl. Good times. I hope I dont look back on my ramblings in a couple of years and laugh at myself. I know now that I am in true love. No stalking required. It's all good now. Anyway it's 10:58, and I'm quite tired. I think I'm going to read for a while. I want to finish my book so I can return it to the library tomorrow. I dont often write in this at night. I'm usually disgruntled at work. Oh well. Good night, good morning, and good afternoon to whoever might be reading this.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 10:44 PM EDT
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Friday, 16 July 2004
Poor Martha
I just went to CNN to find out the fate of Martha Stewart...my favourite tv person. She has to go to jail, for 5 months. How shitty. What am I going to do with no Martha? She said she still wants people to go buy her stuff,,,,not a problem for me. I get her magazine and most of my kitchen tools are Martha Stewart. I should go out and buy more to support her. I love kitchen gadgets. Well, saturdays meal is all from Martha Stewart. Now I'm sad. Whatever, she didnt do anything wrong. I'll still buy her stuff, read her magazine and check her website a million times a day. :(

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 11:22 AM EDT
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It's that time again.....
Bordem time! It's only 9:41! Fridays are always stupid. I'm going to do an experiment today. I'm going to not answer any emails or put in any ads during the day, and see how long it takes me. I cant believe someone did this job full time. It's so pointless. She was such a loser. Anyway. I'm pretty damn bored.

I got my hair done yesterday. I think it looks pretty. It's still the same length and stuff only I have bang things and new highlights. I think it;s cute. My neighbour said it makes me look like I'm 21! Thats a good thing seeing as I go to clubs and stuff sometimes. It cost way too much money. I wont buy anything ever again.

The bus this morning was soooo annoying. A woman sitting in front of me was humming all the way downtown. It was retarded. All I ask in the morning is for some silence! THe bus is stupid, I hate it. I could take the car because no one is home, but I dont feel like paying $17 to park. Driving down here is crazy anyway.

I hope Steph and Kristina dont bail on me tonight. I'd be quite upset if they did. I dont want to be home all alone and I havent seen them in a while. I've given up on Anna and Nichole. I guess I'm not exciting enough for them. They have become my invisible friends. There was a time when I'd talk to Anna on the phone for hours and stuff. Now she "forgets". I guess I'm so insignificant sometimes that I'm easily forgotten. It's like after she got trashed at the ball and has spent every weekend since going to clubs to get loaded, I'm not as much fun. I rarely drink and I dont want to be their DD all the time. Whatever. They used to ask me to go to Willy's with them all the time, and I'd always say no, so they gave up asking. Now I actually want to go out and they dont want or, or whatever.

I think I'm in another "I hate the world, the world hates me" mood. Joy. SOmetimes I wake up and all I can think about is how much shit sucks. I think it's the weather, seeing as I usually feel this way all winter....well last winter anyway, but thats another story and the source of most of my bad moods.

I guess I'm angry because I keep thinking about how Allan says he's sorry for everything he'd done...or rather not done. It's like he can apologize now and expect everything to be ok. Four emails and annoying calls dont make up for a year and a half of neglect. He never did anything to hurt me like physically or anything ( I'd like to think I'd kick his ass), but he intentionally hurt me in other ways. There are way too many things to get into and it only makes me more upset. I dont know how anyone could care so little about pretty much everything, including someone that went out on a limb to try to make him happy. I spent most of my money and time on him...not us. It was never lets go out for dinner or a movie, it was I want that hat from Diesel cuz Aldo has it, then he;d get mad that he didnt get it and say that someone elses gf got it for them and then he;d guilt me into thinking I was a shitty girlfriend. I was such a fool. $70 for a hat that he never wore. Man I'm an idiot. Not to mention the $200 in soccer gear that I bought him for his birthday because he started playing soccer and didnt have any stuff....and two weeks later he quit and vowed never to play soccer again. WHATEVER!

That was a long rant. I cant write it on my other journal because he;ll read it and start talking to me again. I think he deserves to feel bad. I was a perfect girlfriend. Oh well. I have Paul now and he is perfect. He never asks for anything, yet I would give him anything I could. It's so different in the most wonderful way. THis is real love, not love to get things. I love it!!!!! I wish I could do more for him. He deserves everything. Ahhh. I'll stop getting all mushy. Whnever I think about how much before sucked, all I have to think about is one hug from Paul, or one weekend that we;ve spent and its all washed away. It;s amazing.......

Anyway I should get back to not working. Maybe I'll glue stuff or whatever. And todays envelop count is 559, and it will be even more this afternoon.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 9:50 AM EDT
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Thursday, 15 July 2004
Damn postage machine hates me.
It wont process my letters. Stupid thing. Ive done 549 letters! I cant take it anymore. SO I'm takin a break. Apparently I'm a Thug Care Bear, I was bored so I took the quiz. I guess it;s better than being the slut bear, which I was on my first try, dont know why though.......Anyway.
Thug Bear
Thug Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So yeah. I'm pretty bored, I just want to go home. I need to sleep or soemthing. BUt I just got an email so I have to go. Never mind, I checked it and it was stupid. I dont want to send more membership cards. The glue smells and it's giving me a head ache. Why cant people do their own jobs? And why cant I tell them to frig off?? I guess my niceness will always be my downfall. When you are nice you always get walked on, but I cant be a bitch, it's not really me. Oh well, I guess there are worse things to be other than nice all the time. The people in my office smoke alot. Its actually pretty gross. They smell.

People call in, I'm so fake with them. Really I dotn care if they need insurance for their airplane. Oh well. I put on my "I'm happy at work" voice. It;s all good. Anyway I'm going to go battle with the postage machine. It's kind of a computer and all computers hate me. Maybe I'll try beating it.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 4:01 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 15 July 2004 4:06 PM EDT
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