It's that time again.....
Bordem time! It's only 9:41! Fridays are always stupid. I'm going to do an experiment today. I'm going to not answer any emails or put in any ads during the day, and see how long it takes me. I cant believe someone did this job full time. It's so pointless. She was such a loser. Anyway. I'm pretty damn bored.
I got my hair done yesterday. I think it looks pretty. It's still the same length and stuff only I have bang things and new highlights. I think it;s cute. My neighbour said it makes me look like I'm 21! Thats a good thing seeing as I go to clubs and stuff sometimes. It cost way too much money. I wont buy anything ever again.
The bus this morning was soooo annoying. A woman sitting in front of me was humming all the way downtown. It was retarded. All I ask in the morning is for some silence! THe bus is stupid, I hate it. I could take the car because no one is home, but I dont feel like paying $17 to park. Driving down here is crazy anyway.
I hope Steph and Kristina dont bail on me tonight. I'd be quite upset if they did. I dont want to be home all alone and I havent seen them in a while. I've given up on Anna and Nichole. I guess I'm not exciting enough for them. They have become my invisible friends. There was a time when I'd talk to Anna on the phone for hours and stuff. Now she "forgets". I guess I'm so insignificant sometimes that I'm easily forgotten. It's like after she got trashed at the ball and has spent every weekend since going to clubs to get loaded, I'm not as much fun. I rarely drink and I dont want to be their DD all the time. Whatever. They used to ask me to go to Willy's with them all the time, and I'd always say no, so they gave up asking. Now I actually want to go out and they dont want or, or whatever.
I think I'm in another "I hate the world, the world hates me" mood. Joy. SOmetimes I wake up and all I can think about is how much shit sucks. I think it's the weather, seeing as I usually feel this way all winter....well last winter anyway, but thats another story and the source of most of my bad moods.
I guess I'm angry because I keep thinking about how Allan says he's sorry for everything he'd done...or rather not done. It's like he can apologize now and expect everything to be ok. Four emails and annoying calls dont make up for a year and a half of neglect. He never did anything to hurt me like physically or anything ( I'd like to think I'd kick his ass), but he intentionally hurt me in other ways. There are way too many things to get into and it only makes me more upset. I dont know how anyone could care so little about pretty much everything, including someone that went out on a limb to try to make him happy. I spent most of my money and time on him...not us. It was never lets go out for dinner or a movie, it was I want that hat from Diesel cuz Aldo has it, then he;d get mad that he didnt get it and say that someone elses gf got it for them and then he;d guilt me into thinking I was a shitty girlfriend. I was such a fool. $70 for a hat that he never wore. Man I'm an idiot. Not to mention the $200 in soccer gear that I bought him for his birthday because he started playing soccer and didnt have any stuff....and two weeks later he quit and vowed never to play soccer again. WHATEVER!
That was a long rant. I cant write it on my other journal because he;ll read it and start talking to me again. I think he deserves to feel bad. I was a perfect girlfriend. Oh well. I have Paul now and he
is perfect. He never asks for anything, yet I would give him anything I could. It's so different in the most wonderful way. THis is real love, not love to get things. I love it!!!!! I wish I could do more for him. He deserves everything. Ahhh. I'll stop getting all mushy. Whnever I think about how much before sucked, all I have to think about is one hug from Paul, or one weekend that we;ve spent and its all washed away. It;s amazing.......
Anyway I should get back to not working. Maybe I'll glue stuff or whatever. And todays envelop count is 559, and it will be even more this afternoon.