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A Princesses Blog
Friday, 16 July 2004
It's that time again.....
Bordem time! It's only 9:41! Fridays are always stupid. I'm going to do an experiment today. I'm going to not answer any emails or put in any ads during the day, and see how long it takes me. I cant believe someone did this job full time. It's so pointless. She was such a loser. Anyway. I'm pretty damn bored.

I got my hair done yesterday. I think it looks pretty. It's still the same length and stuff only I have bang things and new highlights. I think it;s cute. My neighbour said it makes me look like I'm 21! Thats a good thing seeing as I go to clubs and stuff sometimes. It cost way too much money. I wont buy anything ever again.

The bus this morning was soooo annoying. A woman sitting in front of me was humming all the way downtown. It was retarded. All I ask in the morning is for some silence! THe bus is stupid, I hate it. I could take the car because no one is home, but I dont feel like paying $17 to park. Driving down here is crazy anyway.

I hope Steph and Kristina dont bail on me tonight. I'd be quite upset if they did. I dont want to be home all alone and I havent seen them in a while. I've given up on Anna and Nichole. I guess I'm not exciting enough for them. They have become my invisible friends. There was a time when I'd talk to Anna on the phone for hours and stuff. Now she "forgets". I guess I'm so insignificant sometimes that I'm easily forgotten. It's like after she got trashed at the ball and has spent every weekend since going to clubs to get loaded, I'm not as much fun. I rarely drink and I dont want to be their DD all the time. Whatever. They used to ask me to go to Willy's with them all the time, and I'd always say no, so they gave up asking. Now I actually want to go out and they dont want or, or whatever.

I think I'm in another "I hate the world, the world hates me" mood. Joy. SOmetimes I wake up and all I can think about is how much shit sucks. I think it's the weather, seeing as I usually feel this way all winter....well last winter anyway, but thats another story and the source of most of my bad moods.

I guess I'm angry because I keep thinking about how Allan says he's sorry for everything he'd done...or rather not done. It's like he can apologize now and expect everything to be ok. Four emails and annoying calls dont make up for a year and a half of neglect. He never did anything to hurt me like physically or anything ( I'd like to think I'd kick his ass), but he intentionally hurt me in other ways. There are way too many things to get into and it only makes me more upset. I dont know how anyone could care so little about pretty much everything, including someone that went out on a limb to try to make him happy. I spent most of my money and time on him...not us. It was never lets go out for dinner or a movie, it was I want that hat from Diesel cuz Aldo has it, then he;d get mad that he didnt get it and say that someone elses gf got it for them and then he;d guilt me into thinking I was a shitty girlfriend. I was such a fool. $70 for a hat that he never wore. Man I'm an idiot. Not to mention the $200 in soccer gear that I bought him for his birthday because he started playing soccer and didnt have any stuff....and two weeks later he quit and vowed never to play soccer again. WHATEVER!

That was a long rant. I cant write it on my other journal because he;ll read it and start talking to me again. I think he deserves to feel bad. I was a perfect girlfriend. Oh well. I have Paul now and he is perfect. He never asks for anything, yet I would give him anything I could. It's so different in the most wonderful way. THis is real love, not love to get things. I love it!!!!! I wish I could do more for him. He deserves everything. Ahhh. I'll stop getting all mushy. Whnever I think about how much before sucked, all I have to think about is one hug from Paul, or one weekend that we;ve spent and its all washed away. It;s amazing.......

Anyway I should get back to not working. Maybe I'll glue stuff or whatever. And todays envelop count is 559, and it will be even more this afternoon.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 9:50 AM EDT
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Thursday, 15 July 2004
Damn postage machine hates me.
It wont process my letters. Stupid thing. Ive done 549 letters! I cant take it anymore. SO I'm takin a break. Apparently I'm a Thug Care Bear, I was bored so I took the quiz. I guess it;s better than being the slut bear, which I was on my first try, dont know why though.......Anyway.
Thug Bear
Thug Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So yeah. I'm pretty bored, I just want to go home. I need to sleep or soemthing. BUt I just got an email so I have to go. Never mind, I checked it and it was stupid. I dont want to send more membership cards. The glue smells and it's giving me a head ache. Why cant people do their own jobs? And why cant I tell them to frig off?? I guess my niceness will always be my downfall. When you are nice you always get walked on, but I cant be a bitch, it's not really me. Oh well, I guess there are worse things to be other than nice all the time. The people in my office smoke alot. Its actually pretty gross. They smell.

People call in, I'm so fake with them. Really I dotn care if they need insurance for their airplane. Oh well. I put on my "I'm happy at work" voice. It;s all good. Anyway I'm going to go battle with the postage machine. It's kind of a computer and all computers hate me. Maybe I'll try beating it.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 4:01 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 15 July 2004 4:06 PM EDT
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Rainy Day
It's dark out. It was raining when I was on the bus on the way to work. The only thing worse than taking a bus in the sunshine is taking it in the rain....or snow...or taking the bus in general. I totally zone out on the bus. I sit there in silence with no one talking to me, no phones ringing, no emails to respond to, no one paying any attention to my existance, and day dreaming away. Some of my greatest revalations have come while riding the bus or train. Andrew and I came up with the two year plan on the way to school last year. It's probably bad to think of all these things because if they don't happen one day I'll be crushed. I think about alot of stuff....I'm very impatient and I dont want to wait to see how my life unfolds. I know I shouldnt want to rush through university and all that because its a fun experience and blah blah blah, but I want to see if the perfect plan in my head will work out. I know it wont be perfect, but that's what makes it fun. As long as I'm happy and healthy I dont care if I get my perfect house with all the stuff taht I want. It's all good. I guess I'll just have to wait it out, as much as I dont liek it.

Anyway. I'm at work. I'm bored. There are only four people here today. I'm so leaving early. No one is here to tell me not to. Nice. I'm getting my hair cut at 6. I love getting my hair done. It looks good for like 2 days and then it goes back to looking like normal. I might get some blonde highlights. I'm feeling like being more blonde for the summer. Highlights are such a pain though. You have to keep getting them done. Last time I got them was last August. They are almost gone. I know my stylist will make me do it, she always seems to. She wants to make me platinum blonde with strawberry highlights. Scary. No one is doing that to my hair. We'll see what happens tonight.

I always seem to fall asleep with Paul. I feel bad. He comes all the way to my house and I pass out on him during movies. He's so comfy though, I cant help it. Atleast he doesnt wake me up by pushingme off the couch like someone else used to. It's all good. Paul is so.....everything. It's really hard to put into words what I'm feeling. I feel like a total mush ball. I've never felt anything like this before. It's crazy good. I'm still amazed that he is my boyfriend. I'm such a lucky girl, and I think about that every day. I love him so much, and I dont think I could tell him enough.

Anyway enough of that mushy stuff. My house is empty. Everyone left this morning for Fredericton. Sweet freedom. Finally. I like being alone. It's so nice and quiet, but after a while I want them to come home cuz I'm lonely. Atleast I get a weekend home alone. Being alone during the week kinda sucks cuz you cant do anything at night. This weekend is going to be nice. Steph, Kristina, cosmos and sex and the city on Friday and Paul on Saturday. Nice like ice.

So I'm at work. I guess I should do something. It's only 10 and I'm bored. This is usually where I have my cookies, but I've decided to give them up. I dont think it's healthy to have cookies every morning. I brought a peach, but it got all smushy in the bottom of my bag. Oh well. Anyway I'm going to get back to work. I'll write again.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 9:43 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 14 July 2004
I'm not your bitch! Stop giving me your work!
Soooo I'm back. I cant take doing everyone elses work so I'm going on strike.....actually I'm on lunch. But it's all good. Last time I checked my name thingy (Post It note on my computer) said Stephanie- Classified not Stephanie the Office Bitch. Whatever.

The receptionist person just told me she is taking 2 weeks of vacation in August. JOY! Now i get to do her job and mine. Frig. The woman that had my job before she quit wants this job back. I can see why, I sit here and play games. I guess she cant hack actually working. My dad said he wont give her the job back because she was a whiner and a loser and I could learn in an hour what it took her a week to do. Hopefully I can still work here once a week during the school year. I figure if I let a whole weeks worth of work pile up, I'd be busy for a day. That would be a change.

I'm eating semi warm rice. It's pretty nasty. I'm dizzy again. I think I need sugar, or sleep. I know I wont get any sleep because when my parents are away I'm too scared to sleep and get freaked out by the smallest noise. Back when Steph and I worked part time at shitty jobs, she'd stay with me for a whole week so we could both be scared together, but that doesnt happen anymore. She's coming over with Kristina on Friday for Sex and the City with cosmos...old school style. It should be fun. I wont get drunk.......

I've come to the conclusion that people blog for two reasons....they are bored or depressed. I've read some pretty sad and scary things on other peoples blogs. I guess they just need somewhere to write out how they feel so they dont go insane. Others like me write just cuz. It's all good. I spend alot of time reading other peoples.

Anyway I'm going to go play online games or something to make me less bored.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 1:06 PM EDT
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I should be folding but.....
I'm bored. I dont want to fold more papers. Everyone is out smoking so I thought I'd stop. I did 294 letters yesterday in two hours. I'm a machine! Anyway, it's boring and pointless work, but I guess someone's gotta do it. Sucks that it has to be me though.

I went to Grace O'Malleys last night. I got lost. Like really lost. I hate that. I need to get a new map. My dad is a friggin navigator and I get lost in Kanata. Sheesh. It was fun though. My head ache wasnt so bad when i got there so it was all good. Then I went to Pauls after, but I didnt stay very long because I would have fallen asleep right there with him. I wouldnt have minded, but I'm sure my parents would have.

So now I'm at work. The people have come back from smoking and have piled more shite on my desk. Cant they see the 13 centimeter pile of papers and the 400 aircadet letters, plus my normal work that I have to do? They are so lazy. I thought I was lazy, but not like these people. Whatever. If it will make the time pass quicker its all good. I'll take refuge in writing again sometime during the day for sure:)

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 10:35 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 13 July 2004
Damn paper cuts
I thought my mailing days were over.....Well they arent. I've just had like amillion papers plunked down on my desk for me to send out. I think I've cut myself like 5 times and I've only been folding for thirty minutes. THIS SUCKS! I'm not a mailing machine! It's not my job! Ahhhh. Whatever, it's better than pretending to care about airplanes on the phone. Anyway I should get back to folding and mailing. I just needed to write cuz.....well I'm bored and that's what I do.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 2:11 PM EDT
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It seems too early to think of school.....
It's July 13th and I'm stressing about school. This sucks. I can't figure out how to organize classes, which ones run all year...frig. I want someone to do it for me, I cant do it myself, i'll mess it up really bad. I want to have a day off and no morning classes and none late at night. I dont want to take stats or antyhing having to do with math, but I have to. I have to take a science...yuck. THat would be the reason i was in esp in the first place---> math and science. This is too stressful. I'm going to forget about it until August 11th, then I'll cry.

I dont even know if I got accepted yet. My dumbass prof cant seem to correct a stupid paper and post a mark. If I dont get in I'm giving up. I'll move away or something. I cant be a failure to everyone again. Meh, whatever. It's way too early to think of school and stuff, so I wont.

Anyway I'm at work. It blows as usual. I'm done all the work that I had from yesterday and it's 10:52. I wish my job had a purpose..other than boring me out of my mind. My dad is in the office today, so people arent chucking their work on my desk for me to do. It's a good thing, but now I'm sitting here typing. Oh well. I have to fix that other persons stupid mistake. I have to send out another 500 letters cuz she;s a fucking moron. Ummmm 2003...lets send those ones out---again. Whatever. Their stupidity is motivation to go to school.

Jason wants to go out tonight with me. I dont want him to. I know the only reason he wants to do anything is so he can get a drive home. Last time I checked I wasnt his taxi. He lives totally out of the way. I guess tonight its ok since I'm going that way anyway, but on the way home I dont want to have to drive to his house and all that. I'll just tell him I'm not going. I feel bad but whatever. I dont remember when he drove my ass anywhere. i want to see him I guess seeing that it's been a while, but I dont want to drive and drag him around.

People in this office do not know how to dress. Oh my god. they must not own mirrors. Last time I checked you shouldnt mix plaid and polka dots.....thats just common sense. Its like they havent bought new clothes since 1983. Weird.

Anyway I'm really really bored so I'm going to go eat my peach and wait for an email to come in or something.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 10:43 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 13 July 2004 10:44 AM EDT
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Monday, 12 July 2004
Bronze goddess(or on my way to it anyway)
I think I might have a slight tan. Yay! It wouldnt classify as a tan for normal people, but for my pale self I'm dark. Oh well.

This weekend was really fun.I love cottaging. I'm all about floating around on a lake, doing a whole lot of nothing. I love summer, and I dont want it to end. The pig thing was alot of fun. I think I'm forever scared for life after hearing what a pig roast is. Guys are so sick, they can make anything sexual. Yuck. But I actually ate the pig, which I didnt think I could, seeing that it;s a huge ass pig that still had its head and stuff like that, that kidna creeps me out, but I tried it and it was really good. I should have had more, but hopefully i can go next year. Saturday night was fun, minus tylers drunken swim at 12 where I thought he;d drown, then the spill out of the window. It was funny though, not the almost dying part, but that night. Sunday was even better. Waking up to paul and then chilling all day at the beach and in the water watching people ski and knee board. I promise next time I'll try some kind of water sport. I feel like such a chicken, maybe if some of the other girls did it I would too. Anyway, it was a really really nice weekend and I have Paul to thank. I hope I can make this coming weekend as nice for him as he has made for me.

Now I'm at work. I've had a steady stream of work coming in, but I seem to finish it quickly. The receptionist was biatchy this morning and refused to take any calls. Hello, your job is to pick up the phone! So I answered it once and then refused. I think she's mad cuz whenever she says " Are you going to get that?" I say no. It's not my job, quit being a bum. ALl she does is play online slot machines and smoke alot. I want my dad to come back into the office. When he does no one dumps their work on my desk to get me to do it. They know better, my dad hates when they do that.

Anyway I'm hungry and I want to go get some lunch. I can't wait for work to be done, I cant take it today. Everyone is going crazy because the convention starts on wednesday. If they werent such losers they wouldnt have taken 2 weeks off to be "sick", and stayed at work and got stuff done. Sure I'm bored with my job but I dont take 2 weeks off because my nose is runny:P Whatever, these people suck, I need to get out before I go nuts.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 12:58 PM EDT
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Friday, 9 July 2004
I dont remember it hurting like that........
Yikes. I went with Steph to Amalfi at lunch to get some waxage done, seeing that it is summer and all. Man, I had a violent girl. OMG. She must have been angry or soemthing today. Ouch. She popped two blood vessle thingys on the side of my leg. SO much for wearing my bathing suit this weekend, I look like i've been beaten or soemthing. Anyway, it was an all around painful experience, I'm asking for another person next time. yikes.Oh the pains of being a woman. I'd like to see a guy go get that done. We walked in and all the people were getting manicures and pedicures.. i wanted one too but I only had an hour so it couldnt be done. They have whole spa day packages, Steph and I want to do that sometime but I think its too expensive. maybe one day.

Only 3 more hours then I can go home and get ready to go to Pauls cottage:) It should be fun, cept I'm red like crazy. Oh well. I have to get groceries kinda--> just cereal and junk food. I just want to go home!

Work is extra boring today. Nothing really happens on Fridays. I've been sending out membership cards all day. NOt too exciting. I cant wait to just relax tonight.....yummm. Anyway I should get back to work. <

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 1:33 PM EDT
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Thursday, 8 July 2004
Yay Shopping!
I went shopping today on my lunch break. I got lost in the Rideau Centre and had to buy myself something to make me feel better. I got my Billabong surf shirt! I found it, so I had to buy it. And I got a matching bathing suit too. I mean I cant not match. I spent a bit too much money....the shirt was $50.....thats way too much. But I know if I waited until August for it to go onsale that would be pointless. I deserve to buy myself soemthing anyway. The bathing suit was on sale so thats ok. I cant wait to wear it. It'll save my shoulders from another burn. I'm a little worried about the bathing suit though. It has the tie bottoms.....that might be alittle too revealing for me, but we;ll see. AHhh shopping.

I have to go to the dentist after work. I hate the dentist. They are going to poke at my wisdom teeth, then I'm going to smack them. Dentists make me gag. I hate that.

I got a blister from going to Rideau.....its my own fault, I wore impractical shoes. pretty but painful. Now I'm sitting at my desk eating my lunch. I'm so bored. I cant wait for this weekend.....ahh two whole days with Paul. Nice nice nice.

I just got off the phone with him. hehehehe. I might go see King Arthur with him at 9. It all depends on how tired I am when I get home. I didnt get home last night until 130, so I'm beat, but I should be fine. It was worth staying up until 130 tho.

Anyway I should get back to work. It sucks.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 1:30 PM EDT
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