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A Princesses Blog
Tuesday, 26 October 2004
Self handicapping and insecure
Mood:  a-ok
That's me and my psychological problems. LOL. Ohhh social psyc, it's like Dr.Phil in a class. I've learned that self handicapping is something i do all the time as a way to protect my butt from the searing pain of failure. And the insecure part---I've always had that, no diagnosis needed.

I think school makes me more insecure, which is kinda hard to believe. I see all these girls who are prettier than I am(Or I believe they are). THis one girl in my psyc class is the like the definition of perfect plastic girl. I'm not jealous really, it just kinda pisses me off. Today she came in with her Louis Vuitton purse and took out her Louis Vuitton wallet. Arrggg, possessions really dont mean that much but I (heart)Louis Vuitton. And she;s always perfect looking. Whatever. Whatever! I wish I could be perfect all the time, but that's not realistic. I dont know why I'm so insecure. When I look at it I dont think I have anything to be insecure about really. I'm moderately good looking(that took alot to say) and have legs that are like 500 ft long, and I think I have good teeth. But sometimes I cant help but feel insignificant. Oh well, that's just me.
Sometimes I worry about Paul finding someone better looking than me. I Know I shouldnt, and it's totally crazy for me to think that, but I've been told things like that before, so I can't help but worry. I'm such a silly girl.

I met with Paul today, but only for an hour. He's sooo busy with school, but he's sooooo smart. He makes me sooo happy and I must look like a total loser because everytime I'm with him I'm smiling. ahh I love him so much. Imade supper for him this weekend when my parents were out of town. I love cooking for him. I've never done that for anyone before and I've never been compelled to. I like doing things like that for him. I'm learning to cook too, so I can be better at it for him, and for me I guess.

I haven't written in this thing for a long time. I'm going to try to update it more often. Anywya I should go. Sex and the City is on and I want some cookies.



Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 9:47 PM EDT
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