This is really really really annoying. I think I know what he is trying to get at. When I was going out with him I'd send little messages, emails and calls just to talk to him....I thought it was the nice thing to do, he though it was annoying. I think he is trying to annoy me like I supposidly did to him. Well its working. Frig. Whatever. I wish he'd just stop. Listening to him fake cry on the phone is enough to make me want to burst out and laugh. At the same time, if he is indeed genuine I feel bad for him. I know what it;s like to be upset, and all I wanted was someone to talk to. He knows I have a new boyfriend who is everything he wasnt and then some. He is now realizing how easy it would have been to treat me the same. Holding your girlfriends hand isnt all that strenuous. WHATEVER! Too little too late in my books. He said last night "If only one of those times you came over when my parents were gone, I would have made a special night with dinner and something nice instead of drinking then making you go home....." Well hello common sense. Bah, this really isnt worth talking about, even though I could talk about it for days. There were so many things he could have changed but didnt, it's his loss now for sure.
I have Paul. He is.....I dont even know. So many things all in one and I cant pick a nice enough word to describe him. I love him. He listens to me near tears on the phone and doesn't yell at me or say mean things. He cares. I've never had something like this...ever! I love it. He makes me want to be a better person, to try harder. I dont want to disappoint him ever. When I'm with him I'm happier than I ever remember being, when he;s gone I wait until I can see him again. I miss him after being apart for two days. He's on my mind all the time. I'm getting mushy, so I'll stop.
I'm at work.....BLAH! It's 10:25, and guess what....I'm done all my work. joy. I;m dizzy, I dont know why. I ate breakfast, I'm wearing my glasses, I slept well, this sucks. Maybe it's because of stress. I had this before too. I'm having the same physical weirdnesses that I had a while ago. After that night where I cried I woke up feeling sad, tired, with a pounding head ache and general blahness. I dont know how I went through two months of that shite. I remember I used to get on the bus in the morning to go take the train, then when I used to get there I'd turn around and go straight home. I just couldnt go to school. I dont know why. Atleast I can eat now. Before I couldnt, and it sucked. I like food, the little amounts that I do eat anyway. I didnt eat chips for 2 months, I think thats when my mom knew I was depressed. ANyone who knows me knows that I LOVE them. Anywho, it's all good now. Gained the weight back, eat chips 24/7.
Sooo, I'm at work. I should get back to working...maybe. I'm getting my hair done next Thursday so I think I'm going to go look for some styles. Should be fun..not.