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A Princesses Blog
Tuesday, 6 July 2004
The Notebook
Oh my god, I saw that movie last night and I dont think I've cried that much in my entire movie watching life. It was so sad, but so good. I recommend it. It's a real girly movie though. I feel bad for Paul, I made him sit there through the whole thing while I held in my sobs and cried on his shoulder. He said the movie needed robots--> typical guy comment. I thought it was really good. it's not a good movie to see if you are the least bit sad, it jsut makes it worse.

I want to win the lottery. I dont need much money. Maybe a couple hundred thousand.Thats a nice amount. Enough to put 4 full years of tuition and books away and still have a little bit to spend on me and not go crazy corrupt with money. Dont get my wrong, I wouldnt turn down a couple million. I'm just thinkin. I'd probably still work, I'd be bored. BUt right now work is pointless..hence my blogging at 12 on a workday. It makes me look like I'm working, typing and everything. Really I just sit here reading other ppls blogs and writing in mine. It's all good though. I get paid to write in my journal thingy and occasionally stuff envelopes or put in classified ads. Not that bad.

I got a comment:) I'm so happy about that. I didn't think anyone would want to actually listen to my ramblings. It's nice though.


So I'm bored at work....whats new. I always seem to be. I think I'll take a break from writing and stuff some more envelops, I'll be back though......

So, I probably ran 150+ envelopes through the damn machine. That's not even my job. I do classified ads, not friggin memberships. Whatever. Now it;s break time. I sit here and I wait for my new mail thingy to pop up, thats how bored I am. I want to call ppl. Paul at work maybe, my friend, whoever. I want to go to Shoppers on my lunch to get some tanner stuff. I want to be brown. Right now I'm a lovely shade of red, well my back atleast. I hung on that tube for a little too long this weekend. I didnt think my back would get burnt, but it did, so whatever. I have aloe it's all good.

My life is so boring. I'm sitting here at my desk eating M&M's. Well I guess my life isnt all that boring. I;m going through a damn mental crisis. The while ex bf thingy is driving me insane. He is finally realizing that he really didnt treat me that well during the year and half we went out. I dont understand why after all this time he is realziing it, when the whole time we went out he was oblivious. It's really upsetting me. Now he is acting nicer than I've ever seen him before. It's what I longed for when we were going out. I used to imagine what it would be like if he were perfect(my version of perfect anyway). Now i'm dating someone else. He knows it too. Maybe thats why he;s giving me so much attention these days. He knows that I'm finally getting everything I deserve and he never though to give to me before now. I always wanted to be treated like a princess, and now I am. He;s read that online from my other journal. I guess reality has hit him hard. I know how he feels. I was depressed for 2 whole months. No eating, no sleeping, no laughing, no smiling. It was torture. I kinda feel bad for him though. Maybe he wants a second chance, but knows he cant have it. If only he had this epiphany when I wanted him to. I was begging him to feel like this 5 mths ago. I'm confused. What do I do? Do I ignore him? Do I try to help him? I just dont know. I cant talk to anyone about this. No one likes him because he treated me like shit when I was dating him. I'm dealing with this by myself. If anyone reads this and wants to tell me what to do, feel free. I'm not going to solve this by myself.

WHATEVER! Paul and I had our three month thingy last night. We always try to do something once a month. It was cute. I love him. He is everything that Allan wasnt. It's weird. I cant help but compare everything. he;s sweet, funny, caring, loving and incredibly hot. I wish there was a more powerful word to describe how I feel about him. Love is all I've got so far. I've never felt this way about someone before. It's nice and scary all at the same time. Scary in that I want to know whats going to happen in the future so bad. I'm impatient that way. I hate waiting for things to unfold. I dont want things to end.That terrifies me. I was so upset before, I don't want to deal with that again...ever. Anyway......
I'm gonna go back to work. So yeah. Comment if you so desire.

Posted by stars5/diamonddreams at 11:47 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 7 July 2004 1:58 PM EDT
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