Question and Answer Jokes
Q. What kind of auto batteries does Bruce Willis always buy for his car?
A. Die Hard.
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q. Why did McCauley Culkin get married?
A. He was tired of being home alone.
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q. What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite web site?
A. Alta Vista baby.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q. What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A. A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q. Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper takes a boat ride, the boat capsizes, who gets saved?
A. The United States of America!
Q. What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A. One has two boobs, the others *are* two boobs.
Q. Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A. She wants to be the first lady.
Q. What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex?
A. When Hillary is out of town.
Q. What's the difference between Hillary and Bill?
A. Hillary doesn't get caught.
Q. What will it take to bring the Kennedy family back together?
A. One more mishap!
Q. Did you see Dolly Parton’s new shoes?
A. Neither did she.
Q. What does Hannibal Lecter call Britney Spears?
A. Dinner at Hooters!
Q. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa Claus?
A. Some people still believe in Santa Claus.
Q. Have you heard about the Sharon Stone virus?
A. It makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.
Q. Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A. The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
Q. How come Mike Tyson’s eye's water during sex?
A. Mace
Q. What does Ellen DeGeneris cook for dinner every night?
A. She doesn't, she eats out!
Q. Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
A. Everyone would be afraid to lick it.
Q. What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?
A. Christopher Reeves got the electric chair....and O.J walked!
Q. What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
A. George Michael's latest release.
Q. What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?
A. Hugh Grant.
Q. What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?
A. A microwave stops when you open the door.
Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand.
Q: What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A: "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"
Q: Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony?
A: Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off a few stories.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.
Q. How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
A. By rearranging the living-room furniture.
Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed her hands off.
Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. So she can moan with the other.
Q. Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
A. Her dog was blind too.
Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?
A. Washed her hands with soap.
Q. Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?
A. He was too busy playing the hormonica.
Q. Do you know why Monica got a stain on her dress?
A. She didn't keep her mouth shut!
Q. Why did Harry Potter have to retake his first year at Hogwarts?
A. Because he couldn't spell!
Q. What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. Boy's underwear half off.
Q. 100 Women Surveyed, "Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?"
A. 80% said not again.
Q. Did you know James T Kirk had 3 ears?
A. His left ear, his right ear and his final frontier
Q. What's green and smells like Monica Lewinsky?
A. The pool table in the oval office.
Q. What does Bill Clinton and a country folk dancer have in common?
A. They both throw a ho down.
Q. Why did Bill Clinton name his new dog Buddy?
A. He couldn't bear to say "Come Spot... Come Spot!"
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