Okay, so here are some of my favorite forwards and jokes that friends have sent to me. Feel free to send me any more cool ones! :)
1.) Male: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Female: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore............
2.)Male: Is this seat empty?
Female: Yes, and mine will be if you sit down.
3.)Male: Your place or mine?
Female: Both. You go to yours and I'll go mine.
4.)Male: So, what do you do for a living.
Female: I'm a female impersonator.
5.)Male: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Female: DO NOT ENTER.
6.)Male: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
7.)Male: Your body's like a temple
Female: Sorry, there are no services today.
8.)Male: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Female: But would you please stay there?
9.)Male: If I saw you naked, I'd die happy.
Female: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.
At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him. But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was tandem bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal. I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since.
When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable it was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal" I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn trust. I forgot boring life and entered into the adventure, and when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand. I gained love, peace, acceptance and joy; gifts to take on my journey, My Lord's and mine. And we were off again.
He said, "Give the gifts away. They're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but he knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten, scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with the delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
And when I'm sure I just can't do it anymore, He just smiles and says "Pedal."
Whatever your cross
Whatever your pain
There will always be sunshine
After the rain
Perhaps you may stumble
Perhaps even fall
But God's always there
To help you through it all