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Chapter 13

Crying on the Inside
By: Stacey Scott

*Author's Note: Hey all. I just wanted to tell the people who are posting my story that this chapter continues from the short story version. Remember at the end she started to tell Justin her problems and it stopped. In this chapter it continues and she tells him and it goes from there to tell what happened afterward. I just didn't want the readers to get confused or think the story moved to fast. Thanks so much.

*Hostess' Note: I've just recived the following message from Stacey. I will post the short story verson of this story as soon as possible so you can read that also! Thanx!

Justin stood by his locker the next day in school and waited for her to walk by. He had made up his mind to talk to her today no matter who told him to stay away. He just had to talk to her. Then he saw her come in the door. She looked beautiful as usual but today something was different. She had on a Tommy Girl outfit that was a white capri shirt with baby blue stripes down the side and the long skirt to match. She also had baby blue sneakers to match. Not only did she have on his favorite color, she looked happy for a change. Justin stared in awe as she walked by smelling like watermelon. She looked confident today. She went and waited by her locker for her friends. He was going to talk to her. He just had to find an opportunity.

Justin lay in bed that night thinking over the days events. Michelle had just left his house after being there for about six hours. The two of them talked for hours until she had to leave. In school that day he did talk to her. He knew she left the lunchroom early to walk down the halls. He left before her and waited for her. He finally talked to her and when they looked at each other it was as if they had known each other for years. He introduced himself and he knew deep down that she was attracted to him. Before they got a chance to say anthing to each the the bell rang and he left to go to class. All the rest of the day she looked nervous for some reason. After school she gave him a ride home. He made the bold move of inviting her in. She did even though he thought she would say no. When she was in his room they kissed and that was when Justin knew they were meant to be. He told her he felt her unhappiness and asked her what was wrong. She looked like she would never tell him but she did.

"I hate being popular. Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and no one realizes you have problems to. I feel I have to walk around school with a smile stuck on my face as if there is nothing wrong in my life. Well I do have problems and I wish they would all just go away. It's as if sex has taken over the world and I'm from a different planet. My friends pressure me so much about it and I just get so tired of arguing with them and my boyfriend about it I just finally gave in. I'm gonna go do it and get it over with just so they would leave me alone. It's as if how I feel doesn't count. Just as long as they're happy knowing I'm not a virgin anymore. JC is sweet but not exactly the person I want to do this with. I've known him all my life and neither of us never thought we would fall for each other. We used to play hide n' go seek in my yard for cryin out loud. Who would have thought? Well we did fall in love but when I think about it I think I'm the only one who really did. We're not on the same level and that bothers me. Lately he just seems so weird as if something's going on. Maybe there is and I don't know it. I probably wouldn't say anything if it was. I hate starting fights with him. He makes me feel so bad like I'm at fault. I hate getting him mad because it's always turned around to belittle me. I just feel like I can't win. If I don't do it then I'll keep getting pressured and I hate having people on my back but if I do end up doing it I'll feel as if I betrayed myself and everything I stand for and believe in. So I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. So you see. I'm not special. I'm not perfect. Sure I have rich parents and a nice car, good grades, and pretty clothes and underneath I'm just a mess. No one understands what I go through and my friends hardly ever listen to my problems so I really don't have anyone who listens and then comforts me and tells me everything will be fine because... no one cares."

Justin hugged her and told her everything would be fine. It made her smile. The first real smile he saw ever since the first day he saw her. She stayed and they talked some more before she left and it made him wonder something.

"So what happens now?" he asked her at his front door.

"I don't know," she said looking at him.

"I would like for you to come over again," he said. She smiled.

"I will," she said and walked down the stairs. He watched her go until she was in her car. Before she got in she stopped to stare and smile. She drove off and went home. When she got there she was in such a happy mood. She took a shower and got ready for bed. She had a smile on her face as she fell asleep not even remebering that she forgot to go to JC's house that night.