aaah! i'm sooo sore! lol practice yeserday was really hard! but actually probably better than the first practice all you swim people have to look forward to! if i heard jil correctly beatty's back! muahahah! ;D jp...i warmed up with all of the varsity returners yesterday...i think that's a good sign...some of the other girls were good...but it was sorta sad because chayo and rocky split us up...me, jess clemmons, lauren bell, and this other freshman did all the drills with the varsity returners while the rest of the freshman sorta stood around and wtached...i felt bad for them sorta but @ the same time i know how rocky thinks..lacey talked to chayo a few days ago..she said he <3 me and that as long as i do my best my spot on the team should be secure...yAy! i mean it's definitely not the same without lacey and krystal there...but kass, katie, rynda, jen..they're all there...so it's still a goOd tiMe! hmMm...spent all nite studying for the history test i have today first period! ahHhh! but actually it sounds a lot worse than it is..it's only on two chapters and i think i pretty much covered everything when i studied..so i expect to do well..blah blah blah..okay..i think i'm done..
written @ 9.19 am on january o9.2k3
back @ skool...i guess i forgot to update yesterday..but yea...i stayed home sick yesterday...grandpa died...which was really sad but it wasn't unexpected...even if he would have gotten out of the hospital he still only had a few more months to live anyway...ok but on a lighter note...! today starts softball! yay!! i'm really really excited...i hope this seasons good...i talked to lacey last nite...she said she talked to chayo...and said he <3s me..which is good...coz i don't think rocky does too much...hmMm...wOw! i did grreat on my history test! the killer angels one we took on monday...86! yess! haha actually now that i think about it i could have easily gotten an A...but i'm really happy with a B+ considering the best i was hoping for was a C! go me! ;D k well we have liturgy today...which means all the periods are shorter...man time flies! i only have about 5 more minutes...so i'm just gonna wrap this up with one last thought...i read that "sad story" thing in arlo's profile...and the closing line read "..true love never has an ending.." i really spent a lot of time thinking about that...it's a happy thought if you are falling in love..but unhappy for mOi..as i sit and realize that perhaps i will always feel this way...:( k..more later after practice...
written @ 3.4o pm on january o7.2k3
yay! finally found ma school id card! took the test for mr. salvador during 1st period..and i think i did surprisingly okay...yep, i'd say for that test a 5/7 is pretty gOooD! hmMm..yep..ma new celeb crush is george stults! maan! kYoOtiE! ;D k..gtg for now..byEe everyOnE!
written @ 3.4o pm on january o7.2k3
yay! finally found ma school id card! took the test for mr. salvador during 1st period..and i think i did surprisingly okay...yep, i'd say for that test a 5/7 is pretty gOooD! hmMm..yep..ma new celeb crush is george stults! maan! kYoOtiE! ;D k..gtg for now..byEe everyOnE!
written @ 3.4o pm on january o6.2k3
aaww man! in serious pain! almost came home early (( naaw.. ))..anyways, i was really thinking today..it's a brand spankin' new yR..i really needa get workin'...i've actually been studying a lot lately...despite the break..granted, i didn't really read "the killer angels" (( but shh! abt it! haha )) but other than that, i'm darn proud of maself! ;D i think i may have a slight addiction jess simply to making layouts...i've had this layout for abt a week and already i'm thinking abt changing it..but yea, prolly won't...k well, i guess that's all i needa say for now..we're gettin' our new puppy really really soon! man! i'm soo excited! and i know m and d are, as well! since dad usually works @ the house, he'll really enjoy the company..but yea...gotta go!! time to review for this test (( y e s s s! )) on "the killer angels" for tomorrow!
written @ 5.o4 pm on january o5.2k3
cuzins jess left a lil bit ago...i'm beginning to feel that nervous panic about school that i could have sworn i'd left in 2k2...i'm starting to worry about every little thing in every little class...grr...i know i'm actually in a pretty stable position with school...but i still need to cram..and cram hard in order to keep it stabilized...watched barbershop with the family..pretty funny movie actually! and no, krystina, i haven't finished moulin rouge..yet..haha...whenever dad sees me watching it he always groans..i think partly coz he wonders how i can bare to watch such a sad sad movie during such a sad sad period of life...but actually..it sort of helps me to reflect..eh..i guess it's too hard to explain...k well, i found the sparks notes for "the killer angels"..so gotta get to work! byEeeE!
written @ 11.27 am on january o5.2k3
aww man...soOo sad...ma lil turtle's dead...(( s o b s ))
written @ 1o.3o am on january o5.2k3
Jess couldn't sleep for one minute more...argh...but i guess it's cool coz i don't feel too terribly exhausted or anything..maaan..school starts tomorrow...and i'm oh..about 10 pages into "the killer angels"...stupid me jess keeps procrastinating..i mean, chances are i still have a few more days to finish it but i have this gut feeling inside me (( hehe ariel! )) that tells me we're gonna have some sort of quiz/test type thing on it...prolly so he can nail all the suckers (( like moi )) who were too lazy to read...oOoh yannoe what really struck me as weird? I checked ma cell phone this morning...dad said he mite have found the "reset all" code...he thinks if he finds it and plugs it in to the phone everything will be set back to normal...but as ace ventura so honestly puts it "denial is an ugly thing"...i think dad should jess face facts and admit it's broken...but anyways...the interesting part about all of this was the fact that jonathan called me like three times last nite! well actually this morning around 1.3oiSh...i wonder why though? we broke up over a month ago..and haven't really talked much since...jess seems weird that all of a sudden he'd call me up...3 times in a row!..i think i'll jess email him or something to let him know ma phone isn't feeling so good...the silly boy can't figure out his text messaging so i guess that's out...i honestly feel like griping...ok...maybe not griping..but certainly giving my two cents about how i feel about LN...after all this, why would he think i'd lie about something as simple as that?! but ya never know..so i guess i have to respect his opinion and try to work around it..it's jess frustrating yannoe? when you try so hard and then fall victim to something your completely innocent of..but..moving on...allie and samUL are still here..sleeping..probably till 2 or 3 i figure...i made a plan for today..imma jess chill and relax till about 12...then read "the killer angels" till 4...but knowing me it probably won't be straight through..then i'll have like intermission...and then hop back on the bandwagon (( or whatever )) till i finish it, i guess...i need to sleep tanite though...the worst feeling i can ever imagine is waking up tomorrow morning feeling exhausted..especially since i know i won't be having any more long breaks like this for awhile...even spring break isn't nearly as refreshing..man..ma finger really really hurts..(( sighs )) i think its sprained or somethin...k..well yeh...imma go for now...needa fix some things here then possibly update ma xanga soo..till next time...
written @ 12.53 am on january o5.2k3
aaah!! school starts again tomorrow...jess thinkin' aboutt it makes me c-razee! eep! hmm...man..it's been almost a week since new year's eve and all of that whatsitcalled...today..when i wake up haha..it's cram cram cram..that stupid book for salvador...one of my major resolutions is to achieve or maintain my gpa...and that's one of ma most important ones coz m and d won't let me do anything till they see ma grades are good...argh..sucks but it makes sense..last semester i didn't do too great...its not fair for me to blame it on (( a h e m )) although i know that all of the upsets i suffered were my main reason for not being able to concentrate...thinking back..i cant even remember how many sleepless nites i endured...laying awake in bed wondering what would happen @ skool that next morning...wondering if i'd achieve what i most hoped for...bLeH! DoUbLe bLeh with KnObS! man...ma site is killin' me...the stupid links wont work rite...i'm about to go nuts! i'm soo sleepy but taquito here wantsta watch moulin rouge..yee! i'm always game..gosh, i really luv that movie! so yeh..i guess i'm off to the next room...byeEe for now!
written @ 1o.34 on january o4.2k3
hOy! man..i'm soo sleepy! ma lil farm cat came over to visit me! i gave her one of my angus, thongs and full frontal snogging books to read..man..that author should be payin' me commission for all of the advertisement i'm doing for her! haha..we saw "the hot chick" tanite...it was really really funny! hilarious stuff! man, i really feel terrible about everything that happened last nite..i really should have been a better judge of the content and context in which things were written before i posted that entry..i guess in a way i sort of felt that it was my journal..and therefore, i should be able to vent as i pleased...but i guess in the end it was my mistake...i jess get upset that he seriously thinks i am making it all up...he thinks i would lie about something like that..when all along i've worked so hard to sort of...reinvent maself...this summer i did alotta thinking..and i really worked hard to give maself one of those "internal make-overs"...i had really truly hoped that the two of us could get to know eachother again..sort of..get to know the people we are now..the people we have become...he says he hasn't changed a bit..but i will be the first to admit that i certainly have...and i don't think that is a negative aspect @ all...i know it's positive...and i know that i am (1) not a liar and (2) not a bad person..so why he feels so adamently against what i said last nite, is far beyond me...ok..moving on...dad says that he wants me to learn french before the big trip this summer...yay! i'm excited..man, mae!! next meeting is on the 3oth..i really really really needa new cell phone...i'm still really embarassed about the texting incident..haha i told LN all about it..he got his laughs out of it...which actually i saw as a good thing..but yeh...i ended up texting the person back..but no reply..so whatever..getting to re-know him has really made me feel soo much better...i regret things i've done..but i just wish he knew how much i sincerely did not intend to offend him...k..i'm done now..
written @ 11.23 am on january o3.2k3
a a l i y a h - i . m i s s . y o u
it's been too long and i'm lost without you..
what am i gonna do..
said i've been needin' you and wantin' you
wonderin' if you're the same and who's been with you
is your heart still mine..i wanna cry sometimes..i miss you!
off to college..yes, you went away..
straight from high school, you up and left me
we were close friends..also, lovers..
did everything..for one another..
now your gone and i'm lost without you here now
but i know i gotta live and make it somehow
come back...to me
can you...hear me (( callin' ))
hear me...callin' (( for you ))
for you...
now i'm sittin here..thinking about you..
and the days we used to share..it's driving me crazy..
i don't know what to do...i'm just wonderin' if you still care..
i don't wanna let you know...that it's killin' me..
i know you got another life you gotta concentrate baby
come back...to me..
can you..hear me (( callin' ))
hear me..callin' (( for you ))
for you..
(( i . m i s s . y o u . ))
