poetry

Life

i live in a world of confusion where everything boggles my mind,

up down touch the ground with nothing aligned,

feeling so much then losing it all,

taking a step then a sudden fall,

catch me if you can cuz i'm runnin like the wind,

my life is speeding past me the accelorator's pinned,

i wanna see the world and all it has in hold,

a step only reached by the young and the bold,

take my hand and come along,

this is my life it should be a song,

no more holding back my waiting days are through,

wouldn't you like to know what i'm about to do...

I hate the way...

i hate the way you break me but fix me at the same time.

i hate the way you make me weak and lose all sense mind,

i hate the way you make me live so without i can't breathe,

i hate the way you make me need you when all i should need is me,

i hate the way you make me lose control just break down and cry,

i hate the way you make me lose you just to make me try,

i hate the way you love her and the way i see right through,

i hate the way i love you and the things it makes me do...

1/13/03

you see him and you freeze...

your mind goes blank and your heart knows what to say,

but you bite your tongue on the thought of yesterdays,

you know you wanna say it but you're terrified of what it could do,

you see how things already seem too good to be true,

should you dare take the chance and say what's really on ur mind,

or do you play it safe and risk being left behind,

you'll never forget the disasterous results those words once had,

yet keeping them in could bring results just as bad,

the weight of thought makes you blind,

you feel as if you are losing your mind,

the feeling keeps growing with nowhere to go,

he's the only one you haven't let know,

so you dream of the next chance you get to hold him near,

and wonder if you will finally let go and whisper those words in his ear...

i...

as thought weighs heavy on my mind,

i wonder why i hesitated another time,

i've almost said it time and again,

i've almost let out what's bottled within,

yet fear bites my tongue and the past protects the bottle's seal,

i can't wait for the day i get to tell you how much i really feel...

i....

why?

why is it that the good memories only bring tears that sting like the bad,

why is it that i must see her take everything that i once had,

why can't i disappear into his arms and not remember you when i leave,

why must this loss of love be a death killing one so nieve,

why is it that the innocent are always the ones left out in the cold,

why can't i make sense of these mixed feelings i hold,

why can't i be with him without the past casting shadows of doubt,

why can't i catch him in my arms and show him what love is all about,

why does ones heart allow in more than one love,

why must it cause quarrels killing the dove,

why can't i fall into his arms now and forget you,

why can't i just tell him that i think i love him too...

from past to future

if only the past did not instill such fear,

i'd tell you what i'm terrified to hear,

if only the past didn't make me cry,

maybe i could see love's truth and not think it all a lie...

my eyes betrayal

my eyes have betrayed me, i gave in this time,

i didn't turn away when your's caught mine,

i knew what would happen and surely it did,

you saw straight through to my heart and the feelings i hid,

too scared to recognize how true they could be,

too lost in the past to set myself free,

with a touch of your hand i let go of all fear,

let go of the past and cried my last tear,

yet shyness still keeps me from saying,

what all day my mind has been weighing,

the thought of us together seems so right,

i see single days fading out of sight...

Someday...

someday you'll be sorry for letting me go,

someday you'll regret leaving me for that sorry hoe,

someday you'll come running back but i regret to say what's true,

for when the time comes i'll be loving someone new,

someone who'll treat me better and never tear me apart,

someone who'll truly love me with all of his heart,

i don't know who he is yet, but soon I will find him and carry him away,

and when you see me happy your heart is going to be at bay,

it'll tear itself to pieces the way mine did when u left,

i can't wait to hear you say you wish the key you'd kept,

but i'm afraid my dear it will be too late

because the locks will be changed along with the gate.

i have just one thing to ask you now my love,

why run back to your fiery hell than carry him with me to heaven up above?

how you do it

i don't know how you do it, but you do it oh so well,

you let me go and i get stronger then u come back in and make the hurt last longer.