Forty Five Fun Things to do in Walmart
1. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
2.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
3. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
4. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"
5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
6. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"
7. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
8. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
9. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
10. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
11. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
12. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 13. Put M&M's on layaway.
14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
18. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
19. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
20. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
21. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
22. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
23. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
24. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
25. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
26. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
27. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
28. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
29. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
30. Two words: "Marco Polo."
31. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
32. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
33. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
34. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
35. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
36. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
37. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
38. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
39. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
40. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
41.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
42. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
43. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
44. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
45. Go in the dressing room and yell out really loud “Hey we’re out of TP in here!”