It was raining. Again. For the past few days, the heavy droplets of water had intervened in the Sanzou-ikkou's daily activities. The weather changed abruptly from scorching hot to unbearable cold, draining one's optimism as the annoyance started to seep under their skin. Every time they looked up at the dark sky, only grey clouds greeted them, promising more and more rain. Goku and Gojyo had lost their wills to fight with each other; the brown-haired youkai said nothing, perhaps didn't even realized it when the redhead took a rather wet dried cuttlefish from his plate and munched on it mindlessly. Sanzou's mood worsened by each passing second and by the time they finished putting on their raincoats and climbed into Jeep, he was caressing his Smith & Wesson, eyes glinting dangerously at any hint of noise. And Hakkai... Hakkai had been silent since the first day it started raining, words rarely escape his lips other than constant low sighs and answering Goku's endless whining.

"Why is it keep raining?" a childish voice could be heard from under a faded raincoat, rain beating down on it heavily. Blurry golden eyes stared at the back of Hakkai's hooded head. "Ne, Hakkai. Where's the next town?"

No light chuckle followed the questions; instead, all they could hear was a hollow reply. "I'm not sure, Goku. It's almost impossible to read the map with the water splashing at my face. And about the rain, unfortunately, I don't control the weather."

"Kyu"

"I know it's cold, Hakuryuu, but be a little bit patience, ne?" Hakkai's voice was scarcely audible, drowned by roars of thunder. "Yare yare desu ne..."

Sanzou frowned darkly. "There's a forest not to far from here."

"I can see the trees," the brunette changed the gear in a swift take and gave the Jeep a sharp turn. Gojyo was thrown onto Goku and knocked the wind out of the smaller youkai. Sanzou flinched when his hand made contact with wet, clammy skin. Hakkai spared a glance at the blonde monk and Sanzou was surprised to notice an unusual blankness in the brunette's emerald eyes. Hakkai looked away almost immediately and shook off Sanzou's hand. "Gomenasai."

Sanzou wouldn't have realized that he was staring if it wasn't for a deliberate cough from a certain redhead. He tore his eyes away from Hakkai and glared at Gojyo. He could've sworn that the hairy cockroach was snickering at him from under the hood. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Ch'." Moronic hentai.

Sudden greenery enveloped them as the rain subsided slightly; the shady trees had sheltered them in a quite effective way. Someone must've conned the whole world into believing that green is calming as the blonde monk felt quite the opposite. Sanzou could make out a muffled cheer from Goku and smirked. He was expecting a smile when he looked at Hakkai but none came; the youkai's facial expression remained stoic and his eyes were trained on the muddy road ahead. His smirk disappeared as fast as it had come and was replaced by the usual frown. He knew why they both disliked rain; both because of their bloody pasts. It was not as though he was proud about it but he admitted that Hakkai was more stable than he ever was through rainy days. And Hakkai was the one that kept him sane through rainy days. He didn't remember when was the first time they shared a room together. He didn't remember why he allowed Hakkai to stay when it was raining. He didn't even remember when was the first time he became accustomed to Hakkai's presence...

"Oy, Sanzou Houshi-sama!"

That better be something important, you stupid cockroach! He snapped towards the source of Gojyo's voice and saw the others standing in the entrance of a cave, all staring at him. The redhead was muttering something incoherent to Goku that made the youkai chuckle and pointed shakily at Sanzou. Hakkai blinked owlishly, but said nothing. Their eyes connected and the brunette shook his head, pointing at him. No, at the Jeep. A distressed 'Kyu' issued from the vehicle, inviting pink patches onto the monk's cheek. He realized that he was still sitting in the rain while the others had hauled up all their bags into the cave, drying themselves. Sanzou jumped out of the Jeep, slipped and almost lost his balance if it wasn't for a firm grip at his arm. Hakkai was looking down at him with an amused smile on his tired face. In a flash, the Jeep transformed into a small, white dragon that regarded Sanzou with his beady red eyes before settling comfortably on Hakkai's shoulder. Sanzou huffed and marched into the cave, smacking Gojyo and Goku with the harisen in his way in. Both yelped in pain.

"What was that for?!" Gojyo demanded angrily, rubbing a bump on his head. "It wasn't our fault that the Great Monk Sanzou zoned off in the rain."

"Shut up, cockroach."

Before Gojyo could launch a fresh series of insult at the monk, and presumably dig his own grave in the same time, a hand on his shoulder stopped him from doing so. Hakkai had followed Sanzou into the cave. "Please, Gojyo, not now."

The redhead opened his mouth to argue but ended up inhaling deeply. He nodded at Hakkai and directed a glare at the blonde monk. "Corrupt monk."

Stupid, redheaded womanizer cockroach.

"Is there something wrong, Hakkai?" Goku asked, blinking at the taller youkai. Sanzou and Gojyo shifted their attention to the said person, who was coaxing Hakuryuu into lighting up some sticks. "You didn't talk much."

Hakkai smiled. That false smile again... "I'm still a little tired from driving. No need to worry."

"Yeah, unlike you and that corrupt monk, Hakkai and I didn't feel the need to start complaining or shooting at every little things," Gojyo chimed in, petting Goku's head in a very mother-like manner.

"I do not complain at everything!"

"Yes, you do."

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"SHUT UP!"

Laughing at the antics displayed in front of him; Gojyo was wrestling Goku off him, furiously cursing at the same time, Hakkai seemed oblivious that Sanzou had started staring at him again. The youkai was dicing something that looked suspiciously like carrots and dumped the small chunks into a water-filled pot that was placed carefully above the cackling fire. He then proceeded with a packet of dried meat that he had kept hidden from Goku for the last three days. While his skilled hands were busy chopping and stirring, Hakkai had his eyes on his two fighting companions. There was a smile playing on his lips but Sanzou was a hundred percent sure it was that I'm-still-smiling-so-nothing's-wrong-with-me sort of smile. It fooled that stomach-brained saru but not him. Sanzou lighted a cigarette and sat on a small boulder not far from the cooking spot, eyeing Hakkai. Hakuryuu was curling on the youkai's lap, sleeping. He watched as Goku sauntered nearer to the brunette and sniffed hopefully at the aroma.

"What's that in there?" questioned the redhead as he peered at the boiling mix in the pot.

"A stew," Hakkai answered, chuckling at a beaming Goku. He ticked off a finger for each ingredient. "There's carrot, broccoli, mushroom, potato, meat, some leftover chicken from last night's dinner..."

"Is it delicious?" Goku was bouncing eagerly, golden eyes shining with excitement. "It smells nice!"

Gojyo flung an arm around the brunette's shoulder. "Baka. Of course it's delicious, we're talking bout Hakkai's cooking here. Ain't I right, corrupt monk?" He turned unexpectedly towards Sanzou, grinning.

"Leave me out of this, cockroach," Sanzou snapped back, crushing his cigarette. Your stupidity might be contagious, I'll be damned if I get it. "That saru over there will eat anything anyway, even poisonous food. One day, he'll probably die without knowing why."

"Never in my humble life have I ever dream of hearing the Sanzou Houshi- sama caring for other people," Gojyo retorted sarcastically. "Especially his pet."

Sanzou snorted. "I don't care, I'm just waiting for that day to come."

"Yeah, riiiight."

It was hard to tell whether Goku heard a thing or not about it as the brown- haired youkai was stirring the stew enthusiastically when Hakkai finally gave him the ladle after so much begging and persuading. Goku checked every thirty seconds if the stew was ready or not, nodding disappointedly when Hakkai shook his head. Gojyo joined them and began telling exaggerated stories about various women that he had dated before. Each time he finished a story, that always ended with the damsel in distress falling head over heel for the redhead, Goku would pretend to choke and gurgle before dropping 'dead' on the rocky floor of the cave. Hakkai would laugh. After the twenty fifth time Goku gurgled loudly behind him, Gojyo stood up and planted a foot on the saru's stomach, yelling loudly about a certain 'stupid saru that should be abandoned in a forest full of his kind'. Hakkai was still laughing, stroking Hakuryuu's white mane slowly. He tried to calm them down and in his last attempt to stop Goku and Gojyo from clawing their eyeballs out; he announced that the stew was ready. It worked like magic.

"Hakkai! I want more meat!"

"Hey, that's not fair, saru! Your bowl's already full!"

"Maa, maa. There's enough for everyone," came Hakkai's jovial voice.

After several minutes more of arguing over the last piece of meat, Goku and Gojyo sauntered contentedly towards their respective corners and began slurping down the hot, thick broth. Sanzou was by then leaning against the wall of the cave, eyes closed. An unlit cigarette hung limply from the corner of his mouth; he didn't feel like smoking. The dripping sound of the rain evolved into an odd music in his ears, both disturbing and distracting. The late Komyo Sanzou's gentle voice came as echoes in his mind. Sanzou forced it to stay at the back of his brain, only to have the echoes replaced by a fog-covered face. It must be the face of Komyo Sanzou, the blonde monk would've agreed to that if it weren't for a pair of brilliant green eyes that was visible through the fog. He heard the sound of light footsteps coming towards him but ignored it. The feel of something hot pressed against his jawline, however, forced the monk to open his eyes. Hakkai was standing before him, smiling. He noticed that the brunette had two bowls in his hands.

"May I sit here?"

Sanzou shifted slightly, leaving a space on the boulder for the youkai. "Help yourself."

"Thanks," their eyes met and Hakkai smiled. He handed a bowl to Sanzou. "It tastes better when it's still hot. Gomen, but Goku and Gojyo already took all the meat and the chicken."

"Should've known that," the blonde monk grumbled. Greedy idiots. He took a pair of chopsticks from Hakkai and popped a piece of potato into his mouth. The warmth went right through his body, until the tip of his fingers. "It's... good."

The brunette chuckled, and picked up a chunk of something greenish from his own bowl. He stared at it for a while before thoughtfully swallowing it. "I think I shouldn't have left it too long on the fire. The broccoli doesn't taste right."

"You were trying to stop those two idiots from killing each other," Sanzou found a smaller chunk of that greenish thing in his bowl and took a bite from it. The monk frowned. "The broccoli tastes fine."

Suddenly, Hakkai laughed. Sanzou blinked in confusion, arching an eyebrow at the peculiar behavior of the youkai. The laughter stopped when Gojyo jerked his head sleepily towards them. They were sprawling on the floor of the cave; Goku had his head pillowed by Gojyo's stomach. The redhead mumbled something under his breath before eventually fell asleep once more. Sanzou cast a skeptical glance at the brunette. "Why did you laughed?" You've lost your mind already?

"It just feels funny to discuss something as trivial as the taste of broccoli with you," replied Hakkai quite earnestly. He paused. There was a brief flash of pain in his eyes that caught Sanzou's attention as the youkai looked down into his bowl. "Kana used to be a good cook, you know."

Sanzou wasn't sure how to react to the unexpected remark; he just stared at the swirling broth and the unidentified chunks floating on its surface. Kana used to be a good cook, you know. The words repeated itself in his mind. It must be the rain. Hakkai was silent again and the sound of the rain outside became louder, the only thing that could be compared to it was Goku's snore. The blonde monk chanced a glance at the brunette and was startled when he saw a single tear trickling down Hakkai's cheek. The youkai was crying. Hakkai was crying. It took him quite some time to register that in his brain. Hakkai. Crying. Not smiling. Sanzou felt compelled to do something, anything for the youkai next to him. Hakkai had done so much for them, no, for him. Hakkai's smiles came as natural as breathing. And when Hakkai is not smiling, he is not breathing. No, that's not right. Those smiles were fake. Those smiles were a... mask. He lost his true smiles when he lost Kana. But, Kana is...

"Kana is gone." Shit! Did I just said that aloud?!`

A pair of emerald orbs widened with surprise. The youkai gave Sanzou a weak smile and wiped the tear away. "I know that. But the rain-"

"Bring back memories," Sanzou cut the sentence halfway. He placed the bowl elsewhere and stared determinedly into Hakkai's eyes. The youkai stared back. "She's gone, Hakkai."

"I keep thinking of her. Maybe it's because I'm feeling guilty."

"It's not your fault she killed... died."

Hakkai's lips formed another smile. It was beginning to make Sanzou uneasy as he had to face those smiles, one after another. Hakkai turned his face from the monk to the happily sleeping couple, as though to make sure that both of them couldn't hear what he was about to say. "It's not because of that."

"Then, what is it about?" Goddamnit, Hakkai! Just go straight to the point already!

"I've betrayed her. I couldn't save her and now, I've betrayed her."

This time, it was Sanzou's turn to blink. "Betrayed her?"

"Yes. And the rain... It acts as a reminder. When I almost forget."

"I hate to admit it, but I'm lost. What do you mean by that?"

"I've... fallen in love again."

Silence.

"Sanzou?"

Still silence.

An embarrassed chuckle escaped Hakkai's lips. He slowly got up and collected Sanzou's bowl. "Gomenasai, Sanzou. Just forget what I've just said. Oyasumi."

"Who?"

"Eh?"

"You've fallen in love with who?" Sanzou awkwardly reached out and grasped Hakkai's slender fingers. "Tell me." The grasp tightened.

The youkai smiled. He took a step towards Sanzou, whispering, "You."

"Me?" Genjyo Sanzou, congratulation! You have just been promoted to a true moron!

"No, Goku," Hakkai smiled weakly at his attempt of a joke, his emerald eyes bored into the monk's amethyst ones, reflecting deep trust and... sadness. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have- Just forget it."

Hakkai turned to leave but stopped short when calloused fingers found their way around his wrist, pulling the brunette backwards. "You want me to forget that a person just tell me that he loves me ?"

"But I..."

"Nobody tells me what to do," the blonde monk struggled hard to sound intimidating but the fact that Hakkai's body was so close to his own didn't help at all, heat radiating from the youkai. He's even warmer than his stew... Sanzou could feel the brunette stiffened. "I choose what to forget, and what's not."

"You're right," Hakkai sighed. He pried Sanzou's fingers off and regarded the monk with an odd twinkle in his eyes. "What will your choice be, Sanzou Houshi-sama?"

Sanzou eyed the pair of inviting lips in front of him, in a blink of an eye, crushing them with his own without an ounce of doubt. The youkai didn't respond at first, stunned by the sudden 'attack'. When the comprehension dawned into him, Hakkai defiantly kissed back, fighting for dominance. Their lungs' need for oxygen won and they broke apart. Sanzou breathed in deeply and growled out, "Don't call me that."

"Hai, Sanzou Houshi-sama."

Hakkai laughed and it was the most beautiful music that Sanzou ever hear, drowning the heavy beat of the rain until all he could hear was a string of merry laughter. The youkai himself shone despite the darkness that started to creep around them; the corner of Sanzou's mouth twitched upward. He's changing. Good. The blonde monk shot a glance at the forgotten bowls on the floor of the cave. He bent down and to Hakkai's surprise, dipped his fingers into a bowl. Seconds later, the brunette could faintly saw Sanzou chewing on something. The monk smirked, licking his fingers. He turned towards Hakkai with obvious satisfaction. "There's definitely nothing wrong with the broccoli."

The brunette nodded, a radiant smile painted on his face. He kissed Sanzou lightly and paused. "Thank you."

No, thank you, Hakkai.