fuck off if you are going to
judge... you have been warned...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i believe the love you talk about with me. is it true? do i care? honestly, you can try to wipe the memories aside, but it's you that you erase. 'cause there's no place that i could be without you. it's too far to discard the life i once knew. honestly, all the weather storms i bring are just a picture of my needs. 'cause when i think of you as mine and allow myself the time to lean into the life we want, i feel love, honestly. i feel love. honestly, i believe you mean the best that life can bring, i believe in it all. honestly, you can try, your heart is just as long as mine, is it ours to let go?
there's no place that i could be without you, honestly.
"honestly" - zwan
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
|
Preface.
Vonnegut's responses to questions from the British publication, Weekly
Guardian: |
Q:
What is your
idea of perfect Happiness?
A:
Imaging that
something somewhere wants us to like it here.
Q:
What living
person do you most admire?
A:
Nancy Reagan.
Q:
What is the
trait you most deplore in others?
A:
Social
Darwinism.
Q:
What vehicle
do you own?
A:
1988 Honda
Accord.
Q:
What is your
favorite smell?
A:
What comes out
the back door of a bakery.
Q:
What is your
favorite word?
A: ''Amen.''
Q:
What is your
favorite building?
A:
The Chrysler
Building in Manhattan.
Q:
What words or
phrases do you most overuse?
A:
"Excuse me."
Q:
When and where
were you happiest?
A:
About ten
years ago my Finnish publisher took me to a little inn on the edge of the
permafrost in his country. We took a walk and found frozen ripe
blueberries on bushes. We thawed them in our mouths. It was as though
something somewhere wanted us to like it here.
Q:
How would you
like to die?
A:
In an airplane
crash on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro.
Q:
What talent
would you most like to have?
A:
Cello.
Q:
What do you
consider the most overrated virtue?
A:
Teeth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
''There is an almost
intolerable sentimentality beneath everything I write.''
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Something I Can Never Have -
Nine Inch Nails
----------------------------------------------------------
I still recall the taste of your tears, echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore, scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore.
Come on tell me.
Make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I'm down to just one thing, and I'm starting to scare myself.
Make this all go away.
You make this all go way.
I just want something...
I just want something I can never have.
You always were the one to show me how. Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.
I just want something I can never have.
In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same. Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be. C'mon and
tell me! You make this all go away... I just want something I just want
something I can never have... Think I know what you meant.
That night on my bed.
Still picking at this scab
I wish you were dead.
Your sweat and Perry Ellis.
Just stains on my sheets.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What kind of rat bastard
psychotic would play that song right now, at this
moment?!" - Raoul Duke
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
not me
darling are you feeling
the same thing that I'm seeing
the troubles of the day
took my breath away
now you're no longer talking
and I'm no longer hearing
there's nothing left to say
said it anyway
and I want you not
and I need you not
I'm dying
cause this is the saddest song I've got
darling are you healing
from all those scars appearing
don't it hurt a lot
don't know how to stop
don't know how it stops
now there's no sense in seeing
the colors of the morning
can't hold the clouds at bay
chase them all away
and I'm frozen still
unspoken still heartbroken
remembering something I forgot..
|
|
In My Place
In my
place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
And I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah
Yeah,
how long must you wait for it?
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?
(Oh for it)
I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for it
If you
go, if you go
Leave me down here on my own
Then I'll wait for you (yeah)
Yeah,
how long must you wait for it?
Yeah, how long must you pay for it?
Yeah, how long must you wait for it?
(Oh for it)
(Sing
it) Please, please, please
Come back and sing to me
To me, me
Come on
and sing it out, now, now
Come on and sing it out, to me, me
Come back and sing it
In my
place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
And I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah |
|
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
tourniquet
i tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
i lay dying
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will i be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
-evanescence
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"gutenabend, meine Liebe" - it sounds so
beautiful coming from him...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faith is not something that I
grasp, it's something that I fake as I'm slipping, as I'm falling through the
cracks. Faith, without actions; is a mask for making the same mistakes as I'm
slipping, as I'm falling through the cracks. But somehow I find beauty in our
failings. Somehow I find meaning in our lies. Somehow I’m made perfect in this
fracture. Your back is begging sweetly for my knives. I’m spilling blood,
glancing down to hide my face. I walk with eyes closed tight, through
monuments of grace. My faith is a front, I’m spilling blood. Isn’t it sweet
how I’m trusted with angels, and how quickly I break my promises? Isn’t it
sweet?
"Betrayal is a Symptom" -
Thrice
|
"I will
see you in the next life" - MPS - Radiohead
"Who needs action when you got words" - Plateau - Meat Puppets
"Everything is beautiful and
nothing ever hurts" - BOC - Kurt Vonnegut
|
|
"Many of us have said: take my will and my life, guide me in my recovery and
show me how to live."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)"
Do you still go to raves?
Do you think that Christ saves?
Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?
Do you contemplate what a grape nut is?
Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz?
Are you hooked on a feeling are you hooked on gin-n-tonics?
Are you hooked on fistin are you hooked on phonics?
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?
Did you like the movie Malcolm X?
Or do you own a record by Stryper?
Do you have a mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers?
Were you born and raised in New Jersey?
Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi?
Are you deaf?
Well if you are you can't hear me
But what's the use of living if your ear's be?
Broken even if I spoke clearly
You're still not able to hear me
Cause life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out
Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M*A*S*H?
Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?
When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask?
Ain't no Halloween party why's she wearin' that mask?
Does she got more Chins than the Chinese phone book?
Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook?
Does she stick to linoleum when she squats?
Does she look pregnant although she's not?
Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops?
Or at a Star Trek convention or on top?
Of your best friend or maybe at Wendy's?
Workin' third shift late New Years' Eve?
Does he live under a bridge scare kids and kill squirrels?
Does he do kegstands until he hurls?
Could a blind man mistake his complexion for Braille
Does he have time to sit around and wait for the mail
Life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out
So take your life instead of taking it for granted
I'm thinking you should can it I think I'll help you plan it
Live today like it's gonna be your last
Hang out blow your mind have yourself a gas
I hope you take this the wrong way
And misinterpret what I say
Rewind and let me reverse
Backwards like Judas Preist first did
Cause life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out
-Pearl Jam
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Is cum kosher? Like, does it violate the torah to swallow?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
