warm summer days at the beach. rollerblading along the pier. shopping. watching movies. listening to music. going to concerts. finding a good song. New York. good friends. uniqueness. individuality.
"One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain." --Robert Nessa Marley
More than half a month of absent blogging. I still need to give my quarter-in-review and blog about my delightful spring break in New York. For now, all I want to talk about is something that's been bothering me all of last night. I know guys who get jealous too easily suck, but what if a guy is the total opposite? What if they just don't care what you do with other guys? Okay, maybe that seems like a cool thing because then you can have the best of both worlds (being single yet still having somebody in particular), but I don't think its so great. Doesn't that reflect on what the guy feels about a potential relationship? So are you just supposed to feel okay kissing and doing other "things" with other guys at the same time? It wouldn't be such a big deal if we were still at the early stages. Maybe I don't know the rules of dating anymore. He doesn't care. So I can go out with another guy and have the same type of relationship with this other guy, and this wouldn't bother him? -the thoughts of Sheena @ 4:52 PM
Thursday, March 13
Sitting here in one of the Psych. computer labs with nothing else better to do. I didn't get much of my lab paper done last night but I have things organized out enough so that I can get rolling on that tonight. I'm hoping to finish the gist of it by tomorrow, Saturday by latest, so I can study for 127 on Sunday. I still need to go home and pick up my jacket and mail. There isn't enough hours in the day! I just came from a de-briefing with Lewis and Melissa and I feel pretty good about what the health fair had accomplished. She felt out outreaching was good, and that the fair was a success. I guess it was the type of closure I've been needing. My sense of uneasiness about the fair has waned off, and I'm pretty excited in helping out who will take over my posistion next year. Many possiblities and improvements, like maybe having co-health directors from each org. instead of one overly stressed one. What am I going to do in PCH next year? An operation posistion?! Umm, not sure yet. We'll see. Exactly one week to go. It's going to go by so fast. -the thoughts of Sheena @ 12:09 PM
Wednesday, March 12
Geez. It's the middle of the week already. Then it will be finals. Then I go to New York. Then spring quarter. Time is going by incredibly fast. But, in the meantime, I still have to do my experiment paper and go through two finals. My lab partners and I did our statistical analysis earlier today, and turns out we have no main effects or interaction whatsoever. Basically this means our experiment proved nothing and our hypothesis failed. It's all good though, cause it doesn't really affect our grade. Just kinda sucks. On Sunday Mike took me to some mom n' pop type record store, and to my delight, I finally found a copy of Mind over Matter. All those drives to Amoeba and I didn't even end up getting it there. I also picked up the new Murs cd even though I only knew of a couple songs I liked on there. It turned out to overall be a good cd. I particularly like this one song "18 w/ bullet remix" that was produced by Ant of Atmosphere. The beat is cool but the lyrics are even tighter. "Destiny's a 12 inch, and its all on how you spin it" -the thoughts of Sheena @ 4:52 PM
Tuesday, March 11
I have time to blog! I just finished a short paper for my developmental class. Unlike the first paper I did for this class, I planned this one out with more thought. I got a 21.5/25 on that first paper because according to my TA, even though I wrote "very well and had a thoughtful discussion", I left out some information. Eh, that's what I get for writing papers last minute. I pretty much have B's in all my classes. I feel like I'm doing so shitty in my classes. B's aren't bad but I know I could be doing better than that. Today I took my final for 100B and I know I didn't do so great. I hardly studied, and the air conditioning was broken. It was humid as hell in the room! It made it very hard to concentrate. And the professor kept interrupting us to correct typos. Why don't they check that stuff before hand? Err, so irritating. I spent the whole weekend in Riverside with Mike. I can't believe I drove that far. An hour drive! Well, now I know what he has to go through when he sees me. I didn't think my car would make it, but I realized that I used to commute in two hour traffic after work in the summer. It was worth the drive. Besides being lazy bums as usual, we ate dinner at some seafood restauarnt called Market Broiler (and I got pasta cause I generally don't like seafood..haha) and watched Old School, which was good only because Will Ferrell is hilarious. Plus it was shot at UCLA so I got to see my campus all over the movie. -the thoughts of Sheena @ 12:46 AM
Tuesday, March 4
What have been jabbering about these past few weeks? Well, nothing too sensational going on lately, just trying to keep myself on check with not just school, but everything else that I've been too careless about, like financial issues. I've skipped out on Monday work ever since the week before the fair and that's putting a dent into my budget. I tried to go yesterday, but I was too tired because on Sunday night, Traci and I watched Daredevil with Mike and Mel. Trace and I were bored after we went to Ziba, and so we randomly decided to visit Mel in Norco. Mike came like 3 hours later, when we decided to go home. Then he suggested we watch a movie and Mel had free passes, but they had to be for the non-special engagement movies. Daredevil was our only choice. But if you have a choice, don't watch it! Friday Candi and I decided to go to some party at our friend's apartment, even though we expected it to be small and random. It was actually the total opposite of that. Drank a lil, smoked a lil, and just chilled with our friend Charles. He's so funny, esp. when you're both high. The best part was when some guys were trying to spit game at Candi and me. Charles was sitting with us and everytime they would ask questions he would answer them for us and totally kill their game. hahaha. It was hilarious. We've been going out and "partying" practically every week. I think last week we went to the Igs kickback which was basically the regulars and/or the "potheads". We smoked and stayed there till like 4 in the morning doing whatever random shit we could do. For a good amount of time we played Taboo. It was funny cause you could tell everybody's high ass was trying to squeeze their remaining brain cells together to concentrate. I sucked at guessing cause I would just space out. But I was actually kicking ass when it came to having people guess. Who says weed is bad? It gets your creative juices flowing. Ha. -the thoughts of Sheena @ 4:55 PM
Thursday, February 27
Yesterday I went to my first Igs practice. I didn't even really miss much all this quarter, and most everything we have to know we learned in the span of the practice. I was having doubts about PCN, but I think we can make the most of it and just have fun. I'm registering in my classes this Friday and I was sorting through what I still needed to take for Psych, and I realized that I only have 7 classes left...and could actually be done next fall. That is such a scary thought. In terms of units, I'm already a senior. What am I going to do with my life after I'm done?! I haven't decided yet if I'm going to proceed with this Labor and Workplace Relations specialization. If I don't, I going to either have to stretch out what I have left, or just graduate early (but still walk the stage in spring). Either way, I'm going to graduate on time, unless I idiotically mess up along the way, or decide to pick up another major or minor (doubt it). As for leaving early... would I want that? What would I do for the rest of the year? Work?? I shudder at the thought.
Why do I currently feel so unfufilled? There is nothing for me to trip over, and I don't want there to be. But I feel like something is missing. Random thoughts... -The thing, or person, that had me trippen all of this quarter and most of fall, is slowly fading into the background of my mind. Good. -Does distance and space make you more appreciative of something when its not there? I get the idea that this is the general idea. But I get over things/people a LOT more easier and faster this way. Out of sight, out of mind. I see the potential for this being problematic. Or already is... -All I can think about is New York. I bought the tickets yesterday. I'm leaving early morning on March 21, then coming back to LA around afternoon March 28. So close, yet so far! All the papers/work/finals/projects that have to be done before then. -Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed. I'm not bi-polar! According to the DSM-IV at least. Ha! What a psych. nerd I am. Anyways, I still think life is good. Just not right at the moment. -the thoughts of Sheena @ 12:15 PM
Whenever I'm extremely fatigued, tired, or sleepy, I also feel depressed. What if I'm bi-polar?! Studying all these mental disorders always makes me feel like I have them. haha. I have stuff to say, but I'm much too tired to blog now. I can't even organize my feelings right now, much less my thoughts. Scratch the last post though. I don't even feel the same as I did two days ago. Please let this just be PMS. -the thoughts of Sheena @ 12:51 AM
Tuesday, February 25
I can't decide if I'm bored with my life, or if it just seems that way because I've been relatively unstressed. There's also been a lack of drama. So I should be happy, eh? Well, I still have some problems here and there, just nothing I'm gonna get all worked up about. School is okay, but not great. I'm expecting straight B's this quarter. How disappointing. I finally called my mom Sunday night. I told her how I wanted to go there over spring break but I couldn't afford a plane ticket and taking a bus/train wouldn't be worth it considering I only had a week. Then, my lola calls and tells me she'll pay for my ticket! Just like that! She's leaving to go to Florida on the 22nd, so I want to try to get there before then, but my last final is on the 20th. Either way, I get to see my mom. And go to New York! I better start saving my money. My mom just had to ask about Dinno. I thought I could escape the family scrutiny but my dad told my mom about it and put his two cents in adding that he thought I was just "fooling around" and would get back with him anytime now. So I had to go through 20 questions with my mom. She expressed her saddness but was satisfied with my reasons for doing it. Or at least the reasons I chose to tell her. When lola called the first thing she asked was "How is Dinno doing?" and after I told her I don't talk to him much anymore, she practically commanded me to call him. My family loves him. I miss his family, though they probably don't feel as strong about it as mines does. But I was practically already part of their family. I became a given. They were all probably wondering what the hell happened to me at first, thinking "oh I give it a week, a month at most". And eventually I'll be forgotten. Or already have been. How would I ever introduce a new boyfriend into my household? I don't think I can! Well, I don't think I will have to worry about that for awhile. A long while. I still have issues that I need to make sure are done and over with before I even consider any type of commitment. And directly connected to this -- how can you ask somebody who you know was/is still interested in you for relationship advice regarding somebody else? It's not their place and its insensitive. But of course I'm too nice (or stupid) to just not give in. In spite of that and that person, I'm happy... or at least I'm happy when I'm with the guy I'm... I guess the best term to use is "dating". I don't want to say I miss him, but I wish I was with him right now. I don't want to be attached. I am so ready to leave this state. And to go to sleep. -the thoughts of Sheena @ 2:30 AM
