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John's Dream was to own a Farm,
after living in town most of his life.
One Month after purchasing his Farm
He passed of a Massive Heart Attack.
John absolutely adored his new Farm,
It was close to his wife's work and her family
and the home had a 1 acre pond that extended from the back deck.

John loved to fish so this was perfect for him.
He spent most of his evenings sitting out on the back deck .
He also purchased a tractor for the yard work and loved driving it.
John had had an open heart surgery and triple bypass in the past
however he seemed to be doing well
and it had been years since the triple bypass, like 10.
Shortly after moving to his new farm,
John began experiencing occasional chest pain
and began having bleeding.
He was on nitro and had been for many years.
Usually by taking one this would help with his chest discomfort.
The bleeding was a concern,
and he began having restless nights.

His wife an RN , had told him he needed to be seen by a doctor.
John absolutely hated Doctors,
but agreed to go in as his chest pain
was becoming more consistant
and he was worried about the bleeding.
Doctors showed more concern about this bleeding
and insisted upon a test.

Well the bleeding turned out to be a polup,
something that could easily be removed and taken care of.
John would be admitted to the hospital to have this removed.
John hated Doctors and hospitals
and was absoulutely going nuts,
he wanted to go home so bad,
but was told he needed to be there a few days.
He was still experiencing chest pain,
so bad that nurses would state
"he was popping his nitro like candy",
so it was taken away.

This was a big concern,
but his wife worked here at this hospital
and talked with the nurses and doctors.
My Brother and I went to see my dad one evening,
he hated the hospital food
so we stopped and picked him up a roast beef sandwich and a cup of coffee.
His Favortie. Upon arriving at the hospital
my dad was sitting in a chair ,
he was so stressed and wanted to go out to smoke ,
he had smoked for many years,
and doctors said it would be ok.

My dad did not eat his sandwich
nor drink his coffee
he took one sip and ate one bite ,
but was in so much distress
he did not even smoke a whole cig,
he took one or two drags
and was ready to return to his room.

We thought it would be good
if he tried to get some sleep,
as he looked so tired,
and he stated he was tired
and thought he would just go to bed.
Doctors were aware of how he was feeling
but did not do any test.
John's regular doctor was out
so was being seen by a younger doctor
whom did not speciallize in the heart.
My brother and i went home to get some sleep,
and would return the next day.

We were awoken by my mom whom received a phone call
telling her to get to the hospital right away.
I , 15 at the time ,
was awokened and told by my mom
she was going to the hospital ,
my brother was on his way over.
My mom called shortly after arriving to the hospital
telling us we needed to get there right away ,
my dad was asking for us and was not doing well.

He was in ICU with iv's and tubes everywhere.
He also was on a vent.
Something that horrified me as i knew how much he hated it.
Apparently He had a massive heart attack
and there was nothing that could be done.
Due to the polups being removed ,
if they gave him a medicine that would save him from this heart attack ,
he would bleed to death instantly.
They could not transfer him
as he was not stable enough.
We debated what to do.
He was in and out of conciousness,
and tried to talk but nobody could understand,
as the vent went down his throat.
He would get upset and shake his head
trying to get the vent out.
That was the most painful thing in the world to watch,
i could barely be in there.

His hands were restrained,
so he would not pull the vent,
as we were told , without the vent,
he would instantly die.
He began making signs,
with his hand that he wanted to write
so he could communicate,
He wrote, he loved us,
he wanted to die as he hurt so bad
and the tube was to deep
he also wrote in big letters SUE THEM.

We understood what he ment.
You see, he would not
have had the heart attack if they would have
looked at his chest pain first ,
which is the most logical thing to do
knowing he had heart disease.
A polup is something minor that
is simlar to a ulcer.

A few days passed watching my dad
fight the tube and write us,
i wanted to be in with him
but could bare to watch him suffer.
My handicapped sister could not watch this,
and my brother and mom was also distressed.
My Mom had a difficult choice to make,
and my dad was aware if the tube came out ,
there was nothing that could be done.

One evening, my mom was talking to his nurse,
while us kids were at home.
She called and told us to get to the hospital
as my dad was asking for us.
Apparently, while she was talking with his nurse ,
also a friend, my dad curled up enough
to pull the vent,
he refused to have it put back in.
As we arrived we did not expect him to look well,
but he was sitting up with oxygen on and talking
He was very white but as we arrived his mood changed.
He was so happy to see us and told us how much he loved us.
Me and my dad were very close,
i was also the baby of the family,
but me and my dad were almost inseperable.
He talked and joked around with us.

My mom was not getting much sleep,
and did not leave his side.
Us kids also refused to leave the hospital
as we knew it was a waiting thing.
We were scared if we left that he would die.
My dad was resting ok ,
and i heard him wake in the middle of the night
to tell my mom to go home and take us home
he wanted her to get some sleep.
I pretended to be asleep
as I knew my dad needed to rest.
My Mom told him she was not leaving,
and i remember my dad asking if he was going to dye.
I turned over so he would not see me crying
as they both cried she replied saying she didnt know.

My dad had been a preacher at one time
but did not attend church much
nor talk about God much,
but he asked my mom to read the bible with him.
He knew he was going to die.
My dad continued to show his strength until his last breath.
Over the 3 days of him being off the vent,
he made jokes and appeared like his regular self.
His friends and family came to see him ,
and my mom s family.
There was suppose to be 2 visitors at a time
however due to the situatuion ,
his bed was surrounded by family and friends.
After seeing his mom
whom made it in from out of state,
and seeing his bestest friend in the world
he soon fell asleep.

He seemed to be resting well,
but his stats were not very good.
I asked my mom to go outside with me,
my brother volunteered to go,
and i said no i needed her to.
I am not sure why but i needed a breather,
and wanted her with me.
Her brother soon opened the door
and told her she needed to go back in there.
I ran closely behind and remember
nurses and family trying to stop me,
his curtain was drawn, and i knew.
As I opened the curtain ,
everyone was crying and he was gone.
He still looked as if he were sleeping , very peacefully.
The nurse shut off the monitor and we stayed with him
telling him good bye and that we loved him.

John lived 3 days after pulling his vent out.
John was a strong man, and laughed and joked,
and continued to fight ,until his heart gave out.
We did try to sue, the Doctor got up on stand,
and said yes he screwed up
and John should be here today.
The judge and jury slept thru most of the trial.
The Doctor confessed to my fathers murder,
and was found not guilty.
Wonderful System of Missouri huh.

We Knew we would not win a lawsuit
against a Doctor whom has money
however we did it for my dad as he requested we sue.
My fathers Death could have been prevented,
however a young doctor chose to take my fathers life in his hands.
May You Rest In Peace Dad and know you are greatly
missed and loved.