The
most important thing for people to know is that even in your hardest times,
there is more to life than nothing at all. Life is a worthy challenge one must
always meet. In my life, I was caught, struggling for freedom in a losing
battle. I was my own worst enemy. I had a form of depression called dysthymia. Although not physically wounded, I was emotionally damaged. My
self-imposed isolation and low academic standing (due to my inability to
concentrate) left me no hope for the future. My life was an emotional roller
coaster without a harness.
I
had always been a solemn child with undiagnosed depression as warm sand under my
feet. Yet at the end of my freshman year in high school, the sand changed to
quicksand and I began to sink rapidly. By the middle of my sophomore year, the
treacherous sand had almost pulled me under. The pain and suffering lasted until
the beginning of my senior year although I had previously been in therapy. Now I
realized only with the help of my doctors and parents that I could make my life
better. Improvements started as soon as I accepted the help. In summer school I
maintained a 90 average, and my communication skills improved.
Starting
my senior year, my classes were handled with ease. I did not miss any
assignments, and the teachers had a lot of confidence in me… then it happened.
The tragedy of September 11th changed my battle to an all out war. I
watched the people around me become as depressed as I once was. When I tried to
be positive, people looked at me as if I were crazy. Once again the dysthymia
took control. I missed work, and my grades dropped. This time I was determined
not be defeated. I needed to tell the world (or at least my school) that I knew
no one was alone in being affected indirectly from the events.
I
wrote an article for my school newspaper on depression after the 11th.
The article explained that depression is common after a tragedy. I included
quotes from a medical expert and quotes from suffering students. My article gave
insight to staff and students in understanding that to fight depression we must
all work together. My challenge increased. It was my mission not only to raise
myself up from the sand but also to help others in my predicament. I decided
that I would try to set an example to show people that they could overcome their
difficulties. My schedule is now full of classes that I need to take to graduate
on time with honors, as well as classes that enrich my high school experience. I
see this as one of the greatest achievements of my life.
I realize now what is most important is to put in an effort and have a strong spirit. Life may not be easy, or simple. In one of the hardest points of my life, I am getting the support that I need. My parents are there for me and now I am there for them. They always tell me to reach for the highest star, and support my every dream. I am motivated to make my life better. I have learned that there is no reason good enough to ever to give up on life or hope.
Now after being on medication for over 6 months I am battling something entirely different. Its called being a teenage, and its something I am grateful for. I am starting college in September and I know that life will improve from here on. If my life could get better, so could anyone else’s. Never give up when faced with hard times. You will succeed in the end.
©JDM2002
