The New World Order
(or DISorder as the case may be from time to time)
I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Mae West
WARNING,
COMPRENDE?!? :
This is my diary. It is unedited.
Read at your own risk. Laughter encouraged.
"Laugh, YES, laugh at me..... at my life, my feelings, everything then
We will be in unity since I
Laugh in my own general direction on a frequent, persistant, and also
consistant basis."
- Potentially famous and surely very deep quote of 3singingeagles
Ma'hinahinahina Grady
***
Morning
Pages: From the book
"The Artists Way" by Julie Cameron, a disipline for us artists (meaning
all of us) but especially those of us who work/live in our craft.... 3
pages (minimum) longhand writing first thing in the morning (before
anyone even talks to you, preferably) I have done them nearly every
morning since 1991........ believe me it is not good when I miss them.
I like to do them while drinking my coffee.... but have, (sigh) done
them in the bleak era of.... "B.C." (before coffee). Highly reccomended
for all. PS You are really not supposed to show your Morning Pages to
anyone but then again I am rarely real good at followin the rules and
shi'li'dat...... tee hee hee
I Slept With John Tucked Under My Pillow
(John Stewartwho i have a crush on sigh)(ON COVER OF WIRED MAGAZINE)
WORK IN PROGRESS PENDING RIGHT HAND FUNCTIONING AGAIN
Or more acurate, had visions there
A hoot owl in the tree across the yard facing my bedroom awoke me from
the 'final vision'/i had 4/it hooted for nearly 2 hours as i lay there
digesting them. my heart felt as if it had worked very hard or maybe
run a decafalon. i feel like i am tripping on pure LSD
Hameless/airplane crash/coffee loki kine lady
cleaning hawaiian house being hit on-romanced by the hawaiian men who
were all handsome/patriarch was to leave tomorrow people kept
mentiong/he was the only guy that didn't approach me sexually-but
almost with distrust/i was slightly feisty and standing-my-ground
combo...listed-numbered my titles yet said not too many words he was
impressed house made of orane-bron wood... much violence kept coming at
it trying to get in from adolecent gang members and-or members of rival
families/It had one level but the kitchen was raised up an there were
five long very long medium wide stairs going up to it (in scene wth
patriach he had one foot left one on the second stair
and hisother foot on th lower floor looking up at me who was standing
in the kitchen-part of the time with my hands on my hips) it felt amost
after a whil that i was 'the lady of the house', but i met her the next
morning and the house was pretty well emptied of everything and also
dusty i felt a sadness emanating from her, i sat next to her on the
bare floor and held her. i told her i would finish the cleaning for
her, she said please lets clean it together for i do not want to leave
you yet
In tube with gabrielle apocolyptic episode/firey thick blood-plsma
stuff sent down tube from monks at the entrance/me:"we're in the
mothers womb!we are being reborn!" no xena around i wonder if i
supposed to be her (didn't see myself in this brief vision,only
gabrielle and the monks and VERY MUCH PLASMA pushing us down the tube
taking my husband doug to dinner at chinese restrant though i have
limited cash i shall treat him/troupe of performers doing jesus skit
come from the distance while i wait outside and doug is inside choosing
meal since i only have enough cash for one meal and i want him to get
what he wants,knowing that whatever he gets i'll enjoy sharing with him
since i like all food and am easy to please when suddenly from the
distance come a reg-tag group traveling performers doing jesus skits
and making me laugh/at one point i wonder wht noone but me and one
other woman are out there watching and also wonder where doug has gone
and they inform me they've taken me& the 'woman from the fifties'
into a parallel zone by singing and dancing it to us... but not
boisterous wide range dance... like comical dancing-in-place/ then
we're going into a big place all dusty chestnut-brown wood man rooms
and mny levels... not even floors with stairs, many floors with NO
STAIRS YOU HAD TO WALK THROUGH NEXT-LEVEL ROOMS/dress scene/saw
brooks/Jesus-looking guy-head of troupe "you don't want to leave here.
you don't want to go back to THAT,stay,stay with us"
murder of crows after waking from coma and strong enough to go outside and smoke (next morning)
pet cricket update
pair of golden eagles thursday (thorsday)/silent thunder-hospital/rolling thunder snake medicine
*********************************************************************************************
The Rose Wept
The bush was planted by a man who could not feel love
In hardened Brooklyn soil
He started to water her more frequently when she started to bloom
That's when he noticed her more, that she was pretty but then
Yanked from the ground
Shoved in a large ceramic pot with a chip on the rim and cracks all in the glaze
To the cold island city she went
An indoor rose now, 11 floors up with smokestacks nearby and the
Smoke of the loveless gardener curling in the air
After awhile, though, she was outstanding
A rose like no other, she won awards, she,
Got a new name.
The gardener began to feel love then,
So was therefore ready for pain.
One night she was stolen
By someone who knew her Treasure
He took her to the mountains
Where she was happy
And he clipped gentle shoots off her branches
And made children from out of her.
And he was a good gardener for her.
When he left he gave no warning
And she grew only on the mercy of weather gods
Which are kind in a land of trees
And her young ones,
sheltered near her under leafed canopy
Got her extra rain,
For she dripped abundant water always towards them.
But she suffered in the giving,
And the new gardeners ripped her out,
Keeping the healthy children.
Now she lays in landfill greenwasted pile
Seperated from all that was good
Drying on the tepid compost
Burning to death,
Forgotten. Doomed.
But, lo(!)
LOOK!
Here comes The Master Gardener
Good in heart
Excellent in eye- he sees her remaining green
The life that wanes and still hangs on
He is to take her to his garden
Where nothing dies
And she will bloom evermore
In resplendant, sacred, nurturance.
Oh Lord It's Hard To Be Humble
When you're doing Spiritual Warriorship in dreamtime
(aka 2 nites ago, Power Visions... last night, attacks I was 'up to bat' for. My RBI were WORTHY!!!!)
morning pages, *** 08-24-05 3singingeagles :)
Last night I was a BABE in dreamtime. Last
Last nite I was HOT and SEXY and fuckin
Awesome Iwas
My own version of Xena I was
HOT did I say and bold enough to call out and SEVER
Family demons, contradicting and of course thereby eradicating
My mothers obvious excruciating pain over it
BOLDLY and also BRAZENLY BOLDLY
In front of crowds passing by on a New York City street CALLED OUT
WITH HANDS DEFIANT UP IN THE AIR DEFIANT OF MY MOTHERS
SPEWED PAIN AND VENOM AND HER
SHOWING OF A FABLED BELT THAT SHE WAS JUST
SCREAMING THE FABLE OF
IN NEW YORK CITY STREETS IT WAS
CHRISTMAS EVE.
It was Christmas eve on maybe 5th Ave in New York City and I was fuckin
SCREAMING interrupting my Mothermy
SISTER was nearby my sister who always defends my Mother like I defend
my father like a MOTHER CAT and she was standing there and I
DID'NT FUCKIN CARE YOU UNDERSTAND
I INTERRUPTED my beautiful Mother whom I love, and did in the dream and called
TO THE SKY IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST THAT I HEREBY CANCEL THE ENEMYS DISGUSTING HOLD ON MY FAMILY I HEREBY
My father whom I adore to no end was standing there too and I think he hates Jesus he at least mocks the whole myth of him
though of course the whole while feeling very comfortable keeping his of Odin and the gang
IN FRONT OF MY FATHER WHOM I LOVE AND KNEW HE WOULD AT LEAST ROLL HIS EYES IF NOT BE OUTRIGHT OFFENDED I
CALLED on the name of Christ Jesus called
DOWN any and EVERY power the enemy of all that is good even THOUGHT he had upon my family
On the STREETS OF MANHATTEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE TOWARDS EVENING I
CALLED out that slimy motherfuckin son-of-a-bitch who has
Tried to destroy or at least seriously harm my family for
SO TOO FUCKIN LONG called the enemy
OUT in THE NAME OF CHRIST JESUS I also
Tied some pompous brutes up later, Ivy league-types hanging out with glamour girls so they could
Rape them one way and/or another yeah tied em up real good and shut em in rooms
Teased them with my HOT ways especially the way I suck and lick on cutlery when eating
Then when they came to get me I showed them
What a Real Woman could do yeah
IN FRONT OF
The whole banquet of debutants they tried to rape me or somethin
But I had warned them beforehand
When I had been found scraping eggs from a small cast iron pan
right there in the middle of the snotty ass banquet and apologized
loudly saying that I was from being in a gym and paddling ocean canoe
in Ha vai'i very fuckin
Strong. Fact, specially my hans when I (seductive slow dripping voice here)
USE THEM ON
(uh)
Somethin. tee hee all in all
It was a good night for bondage, and non-bondage and I was INDEED
Da Bomb.
Turbulent Dreams Spill
3singingeagles Ma’hinahinahina Rose
8/25/05
Like a crazy torrent sometimes dreams come and they do not make sense and still I think… will I always be a dreamer?
I have left this world behind in a dry stream bed with a snake it seems
and now perhaps it is that I do not know where to turn except to my
ancient elders and still I pray for rain yet find something dry like a
streambed and as it has always been my way I make something good of the
drought of my soul and go help my father with something don’t you know’
it is my way but actually right now I just feel so psychically tired of
this that I just want to
Retire. Period. End of report. Forever, I’ve HAD ENOUGH!
So the dream goes on and still the mad cycle spins. The woman has no
friends or Mother to see her off on the plane her spacey Mother gets
her there late and also there’s no
Room at the inn I’ve catapulted everything that never was and still I dream
While every sacred solitude falls apart
At the seams and I
Still type one-handed because of
The snake has called my name and still
I dream, and what has always promised to be different seems to loom in threat that haha it remains the same I
He didn’t understand, I think, my roommate,
When I woke up from the nightmares and did not at all mind
In fact was extremely comforted in like I had been born many times
Weeping in his arms
The Snake knew that I had to write you know
I actually do believe he under stood
My friend for over 20 years, in many ways my best friend,
I believe my friend understood why I would not speak,
Of the dreams or really anything I do
My roommate only for a month now and
Only for a few weeks more I do believe he
Understands how these things, with me, must spill onto the page not the floor I really really
Think so.
Whereas I KNOW the snake knows.
Yes.
*************************************************************************************
POPORRI OF MY DAYS WORK
STUFF i WROTE TO OTHER POETS AND NEW WORK IT'S BEEN A PROLIFIC DAY!
I am not everyone, but that doesn't make me a no one.
YES!!!!
AND DOUBLE YES!!!!!
Life's secret can be found in the rain.
Outrageous!
Where is MN? What college?
When you come to Maui
please come read with us Maui Live Poets.... every Thursday (unless there's 5
Thursdays in a month even then we sometimes do an impromptu reading).
COLLEGE RULES! I'm a Grandma and still go a semester from
time to time... Maui
Community College is my
main collegiate squeeze (lol). KEEP UP THEGOOD WORK!!!
That is SO INTENSE Irish one....I am crying very much... you
have moved me , whew. You are INCREDIBLE I must have more you are GREAT....
Please gat a collection together
to publish if you haven't already. Even at your 'tender age' (to an old lady
like me) you are MASTERFUL!!! I mean that.
It falls like snow into her hand,
Like powdered sugar or rat poison,
Like dehydrated clouds,
Like baking powder,
Like an illegal drug
WOAH! This almost stands alone as its own poem!
You do so well 'on assignment' (notice that you enter many
contests) this takes a deep creative well AND a strong soul that can withstand
loss.... you are an incredible spirit, I am so glad to meet you through your
poetry! Please IM me when you post new stuff, if you have the time, and/or to
recommend certain pieces or ask for feedback from me on them? It will be my
literary dining pleasure!
Sometimes I'm off on business for many days so if I don't
respond right away no worries I shall make your stuff a priority when I visit
should your messages appear and even if not as I shall bookmark your page.I am honored to have m your soul through your deep
thoughtful and so well woven words.
Sincerly,3singingeagle
They Breathe
It is morning and I went out for
a smoke
Needing a break from weeping at other peoples poignant poetry
MY BREATH MAKE SMOKE WITHOUT THE CIGARETTE
It is AUGUST it is still SUMMER my breath made frost
I sat down for the cigarette
I was exhausted from crying at other peoples poignant poetry I was
And also from my own angst and early morning tears the
BREATH OF ME MADE FROST IN THE AIR AND THE LEAVES ARE FALLING OFF THE BIRCH
ALREADY say it ain't so and
The moon was reflecting itself, primping in the window of a car in front of the
steps where I
Had sat down to smoke I hadn't lit the cigarette yet I
Really wanted to smoke but I
I felt it was cheap to watch the moon in a window
I felt ashamed of myself like I was watching someone undress in their room
without them knowing it my breath
MADE SMOKE IN THE FROSTY HOW COULD IT BE FROSTY ALREADY AIR I
I got up to see the moon honestly she
Was TOO PRITTY lookin good there woman I
Sat to have my smoke,
Only briefly thinking of how close Mars was to her
"Fuck me" Mars says and maybe she can't run away or more likely she
just does not want to I
SAW MY BREATH
It was the smoke
Inside I laid down, and this poem suddenly fought to be born
Now, exhausted from a quick but complicated labor
I shall nurse the baby later, now
I just want Her to lay into my arms
Till the sun crests
And the angels, losing their wings or more likely giving them up voluntarily in
the Morning Light
Come down to mate with Humans
By shoving their poems inside us
And making us birth them
By making us breathe for them.
*******************************************************
This took me up and down and up and down
I didn't want the rhythm and I didn't want it to end
I know that one:
"i tried and tried
to be there for you
but i never was
sat around the day and cried."
though I do not want to admit it
Oh shit I just did didn't I???
VERY good work. Thank you
Recommended
Here is where its going to end
I promise that it is
Aloha e!
If you are ever in Maui
again look me up, at The Maui Live Poets Society, readings every Thursday....
COME AND SHARE and also my e-mail is singingangelsproductions@yahoo.com so e-me
and I'll show you some spots most people never see, also maybe you'll read on
my TV show there?
Bless you, aloha no, malama pono and a hui ho!
This was the key to this poem for me
My stomach clenched a few times in here.... it's been
decades but I remember
One of my girls is going through this as an Austin 16
You did it-YOU TOLD IT
YOU TOLD ON IT!
Brave and excellent. Excelsior!
I would like to see this MANIFESTO set as a poster and
plastered on tele and electric poles all around the world!
The tongue is the most dangerous member of the body, it has
been said....
Yet NEVER like you did.... an INCREDIBLE pleasure to read...
also your re-use of sentences in a staccato 'form' TICKLED MY REBEL-POET
SENSABILITIES!!!!
This had me chuckling and guessing at every
(sorry for this)
Turn!
I want to share this with the world
I want to break my fingers on the asphalt in her fictional
honor I want
The rooster to be a real one to pleasure her and eat crumbs
till the cows come home and I want the cows to be uncareful squirrels that drop
leavings for her and her 'man' I want
I want to tell you that you are a brilliant writer and right
now you are my close personal friend. KUDOS!
If someone wants to find me
If someone searches for me on
Google or ask Jeeves or
Search For Me
Netscape search or Yahoo search or
Any search…yeah,
I’ll come up you’ll find
My poetry,
My newspaper articles,
My magazine articles, my diaries you’ll find
Blogs and
Homepages galore and
OOOOOOO photos
Some you will blush to see
Most will make you smile
But will you REALLY find ME????
Yes.
In my writings you shall find the entire of me you shall
find
The things I won’t write home about the
Things I never told my mother. The things my lovers
Could not even hope to know.
Us writers pour our souls out on the page
And though they’re already ghosts once they’re written
Since we’re ever made anew,
Still they are ever true
Phantasms exercised
Since the day they were born
For the pleasure of feet that dance aloud.
I am SO MOVED by your comment!
You rule with ruling that rules.
PS I love Dragons :)
Yes I have many things published, mostly self-published but
my first book "Unlikely Angel" will be coming out soon...... pic on
cover is me dressed in angel garb on a plain chair with my legs hooked behind
the chairs front legs, wings drooping, halo eschew, bottle of Jack Daniels in
one hand and lit cig in the other :) the poems in the book are these three
pages in their entirety:
https://www.angelfire.com/ma/hinahinahina/MILLENIUM.html
https://www.angelfire.com/ma/hinahinahina/PoetreeOne.html
https://www.angelfire.com/ma/hinahinahina/TooMuchCandy.html
Many of the poems are very heavy in language and theme and
not for the faint hearted nor non-adults (lol)
Feel free to read the book for free there, and if you want
the printed and illustrated version e-mail me at:
singingangelsproductions@yahoo.com
I'll keep your letter on file and e-mail you when it's
released.
YOU will DEFINITLY get a signed copy :)
Lots of love and THANK YOU!!!!'3SE
THE DICATOMIES ARE INTRIGUEING.... YOU SEEM TO BE ABLE TO
LEAP AROUND THE ENTIRE COMPLICATED BALL OF TWINE LOVE IS AND EVEN GET IN IT
WITH OUT TANGLING THE THREADS, BRILLIANT. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE OF
YOUR STUFF, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Contest: When hope fails
by Stairway ToHeaven
Aug 22, 1:52 (bookmark)
(print) (next)
Author's Last Login: 15 hours ago
In Category: Angst
Alright. I have a writer's block. I want you to write me a poem
about losing all hope, giving up, having your heart ripped out from your chest,
giving up on everything. Bring tears to my eyes. I only want your
best. No "boo-hoo my life is sad" unrefined typical crap.
Here are the rules:
~NO FUCKING STICKY CAPS
~No pre-writes
~I want you to show a ligit reason for giving up hope, please no "no one
understands me" stuff
~Cussing is ok
~I'd prefer no cutting/suicide in the poems but if you must you must
Well good luck to all!
God!
It was on the beach that night that I talked to God
Okay I cried I screamed I ranted I said
Take me! Comeon!
I have nothing left and I’m gonna
Drink and have sex with anyone and take so many drugs I
don’t wanna eat till I
Die slow anyway which would break the heart of my Mother
don’t
Do those things to these people here
The seven seals and stuff don’t
Do those revelations things please give them a chance take
Take me! Take me right here tonight on these
Open beach sands I’m sleeping on with no home take
Take me! The one here hello you said you loved me remember
me well if you do
Take me! Take me! Now now now! Me
Who lays here with no blanket rolled up in a ball with sand
in her hair you said I was
Your girl. He did too. Where is he
He left and now they took
They took my children! I miss them don’t!
Don’t do anything to these blessed people down here, no,
No God not even him don’t
Please? Please? Here it says you can send down all kinds of
things please send
1,000-2,000 acupressure needles
Of copper of course the best kind
Haha that’s funny I’m
Look at what I’m saying- shit Lord
Shit! Won’t you let me
Sacrifice myself for all these people without
This sense of humor you’ve given me get in the way now I’m
Now I’m
Really mad!
And cold.
I’m cold
Oh Lord, could you just send me a blanket, please?
Please?
I do not believe how
incredible what you have done is! This is a prisinor of war's prayer... a
soldiers prayer... it is PERFECT. I am (was, but always am) a wife of a Veteran
of the Vietnam war.... we have our own organization in the VFW and are really
considered Veterans ourselves because many of the boys- yes BOYS (some woman
too) brought the war HOME WITH THEM they NEVER REALLY LEFT please I beg of you
if you can, and the spirit moves you, can you please send this to Veterans
groups, us wives work with many who were in POW camps and actually came out...
I'm not sure if you realize what this would mean to them.
The Lord our God has most
CERTAINLY touched you through the Holy Spirit with an important ministry! Thank
you for sharing it.
GOD BLESS YOU SO SO MUCH!
3SE
This is a future Classic Work
that will be famous and read over and
over through the ages.... till war ends, God willing!
The Ode Of The Tiny Little
Very Small Dreug
How Doth the tiny little very
small Dreug
Unfold it’s well-sized tail?
And keep from swatting
creatures myriad
In hill and yonder vale?
How doth it cart the huge
thing round
On limbs so small and frail?
(Tis mystery also it doth sink
no ship
When in nearby ports they sail).
Oh Dreug, that massive thing
you swing
Scares maidens far and near!
Swarms of knights shall
extinct your kind
So soon, alas, I fear!
But if I could I would erect
A sanc’tuary complete
Where that huge thing could
freely swing
Above thine minuscule feet!
Woke Up It Was An Enfield Mornin And The First Thing That I Heard
Was A Song Outside My Window, And The Traffic Wrote The Word
It Came Ringing Out Like Christmas Bells
And Wrapping Round Like Fine
Satin
Wow what a long title, huh. "Chealsea Mornin" was the original tune...
think Joni Mitchell wrote it-- hey wait, lemme see... I'm on line!
HOLY SHIT IT WAS JUDY COLLINS, ONE OF MY TOP TEN FEMALE VOCALISTS IN HISTORY AND THE ONLY ONE ON MY I-POD SO FAR WHO WROTE IT!!
AND>>>>>>>>> Chealsea Clinton was named after the Chealsea in this song!
Now I want to know more and/or listen to it....
Well, how about that... it's on this computer... one sec..... (oh
that's write you won't feel the weight cause I'm righting this)
(tee hee for spelling, didja on purr puss babies!)
*****************************
Am off to my papas house for the weekend, God willing I'll be back late Sunday night, early Monday morning.
Pray for me please.
I might be able to check my mail from there but mostly I'll be busy
lovin my dad, eat fresh blackberries and seeing Seigfried enter a ring
of fire and then screw up the best f-in relationship he ever had!
Oh, and of course, packing and sorting things for the flea market
(Sunday) please pray Tom wakes up at his moms house and gets to dads in
time to get me and the stuff, and that I make OODLES of cash so I can
get a car to drive my daughter to school and get to my numerous jobs
that seem to be setting themselves up for me on Maui upon my return.
Oh..... and a place to live that MY DAUGHTER CAN LIVE WITH ME AT!!!! YEAH!!! Finally!!!!
LOVE to you all,
3SE
The Lady Not Needing Another Vapid Tragic Epitath
3SE 08-28-05
I did not want him to be a poem.
I wanted him to be a love affair.
I did not want him to be just another tragic tear smeared poem I wanted
His fingers raked in uncontrolled ecstacy in my hair.
I did not desire another terrible ode to loss.
I desired his love inside of me, no matter the cost.
Other poems feely spawn from trees
Fall like leaves
Cascade from me,
What I need from him,
Is his arms. Around me. En-foldering me.
Comforting him.
Written: 10:21 PM, posted on all poetry.com at 10:48 PM
LOOK! WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKETH AND SHI'LI'DAT... IT IS THAT STUPID MOTHERFUCKING DOLT ROMEO!
morning pages Aug 29 2005
I went to give you a flower,
You spit FTD foulments.
I went to give you a daydream,
You acted like an asshole.
Now, I ask you this,
Is there any justice in here as I sing the blues?!?
I am going today for sage, hair conditioner, and liquor sweet
I am going today for a short while.
I am going with nurturance-plans uncomplete
But at least there's a place to start from.
I am NOT going to Grammas house cause she would be so furious
Let I let another sucbag-in-mans-clothing play with my heart- HEY-WAIT-
Gramma's house is the absolute best place to go!
She knows what ain't good for me,
And I'm gonna get it, at some point.
******************************************
Do not reign on my parade or pareo
You stupid-motherfucker-who-says-he-loves-God!
You cannot act like you love somebody,
And then hurt them beyond belief
Over and over not
Someone like me, well,
NOT me!!!!
Look what's happening to New Orleans and Buloxi
It's not me, God knows I shall pray for you right now and do it
Frequently throughout the day frequently for the rest of my life never forget
Buloxi and n'orleans.... God
LOVES ME FIERCE.
What can I do?
I talk to My Love, my ONLY Love,
Yet God listens
Nods as if affirmative
Maybe waits a while
Then.......
Reminds me of Billy Jacks delay and biding of time
Over the lady who he loved who run the school who
Worked with Martin Luther where is he
dead
She who worked with Bobby Kennedy and Jack where are they
WHERE ARE THEY
dead, she replied, yes he
He bode his time
Bosted his time
Then relieved the world
From an ill raping harming soul I guess you could spin it
My rapes NEED NOT CONTINUE I'm
Goin to Gramma's house.
I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.
SNAKE WOMAN
Sept 1st 2005
Across the street, at dawn,
A Golden Eagle raided the crows nest
While behind the house an owl hooted
And spoke my name.
It continued to hoot, on and off, for hours
Forgetting it was day,
Or, perhaps the nocturnal one,
Was irrationally sleepless.
As I have been.
When the Copperhead bit me
I knew something would happen.
I knew it was
powerful medicine to absorb the juice go to the other side in coma deep
And return to the
land of the living.
I knew something
would change with me. In me.
Will I spend every night now for the rest of my life
Roaming the planet in desperate rescues,
Laying on of hands,
Carrying victims to safety,
Giving both my shoulders to the battle-worn
And if so, Lord,
If this is a new Power you are using me for
Show me how to stand up to it
PLEASE give unto me,
STRENGTH!
The eagle finally sails away home
To the little ridge nearby, on the North face
Of this mountain I find myself on,
Longing for home,
Picking up my feathers,
And flying round the world all night
An unlikely angel in a world full of suffering.
God, keep holding my hand.
Make me strong for the task.
I am your girl, and I know you can do this.
Perhaps I am not the same
I am snake-woman now and, yes (!) I am
I am free. All because of you.
Free. Flying.
Strong.
Ready.
I Started A Joke
morning pages 09-02-05
Its amazing to me Lord that my own Father doubts that I entered
the big house on Penn Av and saw my commander in cheif. How many people
will think me delusional. Teh. Feel like Cassandra. Only this time
Apollo hasn't kicked me out of delphi and I could really care less what
anyone thinks cause God is my boss, GW that sweet dear one is God and
I's ally, and my dear friend.... you know, I think that's the main
reason Dad doesn't want to believe me (although part is my formally
sophisticated father has fallen into the mis-informed trend of
scapegoating).... I think he knows. I think that my dad knows on some
level what happen in that room when us two walkers faced eachother.I
think that dad is ashamed that George told me the things he should of.
But how could he have! He does not even know 1/100th, 1/100000000000th
of what GW knew/knows about me! He must have been fascinated by me....
he pulled things out from diverse places.... HE KNEW ABOUT THE STONES
AND MY VISION OF JESUS! HE KNEW ABOUT THE 2 CUBAN SOCCOR PLAYERS IN
N'ORLEANS!
He knew other things, Very VERY secret things. And he loved me....
LOVES me, he thinks I am "The most fascinating woman he ever met"
(besides Laura, with an uncomfortable chuckle) so brave, so vunerable,
so feisty, so smart.
He lifted my chin up when he mentioned the soccer guys, and I had
dropped it in shame, blushing though. Lifted it up and looked me in the
eyes and told me those things.
There is more that I will not tell here, maybe not ever. It is very private. It is, well, almost sacred..... but ....
well, enough... funny, I am crying remembering those 9-10 mins, barely
into 7-3, Military time 0119-028 end of embrace 29 he's out the door. I
remember. I will ALWAYS remember. In a way I wish I could travel with
him though I'd always having to be watching my own back cause he'll
cover his ass first,
Hum. Maybe not, there is a lot of love there. a LOT.
Though, ironically, I'd take a bullet for him ANY DAY OF THE WEEK
No big deal comin from me, though, since it seems not possible for to kill me (lol)
I am real hungry and my curried breakfast smells good. A little break,
for a little night music,
at dawn in the mountains.
ummmm, better, but now I'm tired and shall take a short "power nap"... later, loved ones!
They're Alive!!!!!
Today after I got offline
And the phone was free
I picked up the receiver with hopeful hands
There'd be a message for me.
Short beeping tones assalted my ears
I pressed "C", then "B", then 1.
The tears cascaded from my eyes
As soon as it'd begun.
"Angel?" came the ten'tive voice
"Angel, love!" said he
"I see that I've got your machine
Though I wished that it were thee.
I'm alive! I'm safe! I've narey a scratch
And the other Vets with me!
Were in a shelter at the elementary school
Here in Buloxi!"
I cried, I laughed, I praised the Lord
Alone in my living room!
And, though full day, my joy-filled heart
Wouldt'of lite the darkest gloom.
Buloxi is no more, it seems
Nor Gulfport o so fair,
And yet my boys, to my great joy,
They all survived down there.
The radio station I was helping them form,
WFRE
The towers down, the building dissapeared,
Our broadcasting dreams a mem'orie.
But those brave combat Vets of old
Who lived in VA dorms
Right accross from the angry sea
SURVIVED THE DESTROYING STORM!
We live to see another day
So perhaps the day will come,
When their strong voices shall ring out a new transmitter
On "The Voice Of Freedom"
I hope to hear them singing out
They're brave opinions strong!
But there's one sweeter refrain tis' sure
I could hear all day long.
Sweet words I could hear o'er and o'er
And over and over again-
"Angel? Angel! We are alive!
Love you! Jim, your friend.
"You Are Evolved" says Maharisi Paramahayoga (?) Through Ben, In My Car That He Is Now Driving
morning pages 09-04-05
Gene had just lit up a pipe of maijuana
that Ben had brought in (jumped out of car to get then came back) even
though I had asked him to wait.... and reminded him by holding my hand
up.... it was determined that Gene was selfish (he even admitted it
after we got to a more private spot nearby that is all that I wanted
where I did semi-risky manuver to get to quicker for him and the car
did not pick up speedily going crost the 2 lane hiway and the Ben was
in the drivers seat when we pulled up, he was pretty much glowing and
talking about Maharashi Yoginanada leaning against dashboard in seat
backwards (there was suddenly no steering wheel) smiling at me in the
'passenger seat' but they were long seats... Gene was in back now yet
very soon outside a Greyhound bus had pulled behind us, I rolled my
eyes at cute pixie-like Maharishi-Ben and sighed is THAT a GREYHOUND???
Figures, we would pick a station.... who would put a station HERE???
then we saw what looked like an old abandoned 2-pumps station (side by
sides, rounded white enamels) yet 2 buses were suddenly getting fueled
there. They looked pretty old too, the pumps looked so closed for a
long time it seemed they had dust and/or cobwebs (even that far off)
they definitly weren't there at first, since I made sure the tires were
on dry ground (curved into what ground showed) so we could get out the
field/meridians were pretty wet, no more sign of Gene anymore, though
Gryhound parked almost right on our bumper behind us and that's when
Maharishi/Ben made his brief summary/testamonial to Yoginanda, when he
was do9ne I said 'yes I know him" and Maharishi said through him to me
(Ben had hands behind head on dashboard, jaunty scooped stance, rakkish
smile):
"You Are Evolved".
I woke up.
Good morning.
09-05-05
morning pages
I'M HUNGRY !!!!!
After doing some occasional multiple tirads (small kine) bout the
people in N'orleans and their: "We have no food and/or water" related
violence (not ALL of them.... but the percentage that did) here I am
faced with feeling complainy myself. I wanted to roast a chicken
yesterday! I wanted a hamburger last night when no chicken was
forthcoming! AND I HAVE FOOD IN THE HOUSE!!!
This is part of the reason why I have been SO OFTEN greatful to not be
a teacher/preacher/guide of any sort, but instead to have the servants
role. The conduits role. Not just cause it's foolproof (God don't make
mistakes), but also
I KNOW that Spiritual Law Of Physics! Whenever you 'teach' someting to
someone, you are faced with 'learning' it (learning it mo' better,
'refining' it in most circumstances)
But, then again, it IS evolutionarily beneficial to do so, ey, and
didn't Maharishi Yogananda speaking through Bens body yesterday tell me
that:
"I Am Evolved" !
Fuck. Why do I make life so hard for myself sometimes? I tink I like
walk down road see iffin store's open, and get me a labor day breakfast
of champions.
Then, come back here to work, sans my fucking complaining, sitting here
in a bed and breakfast in the mountains of the finger lakes, with
blackcherry flavored zima properly cilled and bugers being grilled and
me using my skills
To design poetry books that will
Hopefully, be spread round the earth, helping people to understand
Just how fuckin precious life is
And NEVER floating down a street next to bloated victems of ANY kind of natural disaster while
People, hungry and thirsty, watch it float by
Wishing they could fish it out, to
To eat..... eat REAL food.... one more time.
3SE
Finally I Realize That I Am To Be My Own Surprise
MORNING PAGES, 09-07-05
ALL DAY, and all of the night
I rise.
I fall.
I do strange things.
I do not know my name.
I fantasize about falling.
I leave this world behind.
I die. Live. Fuck and breathe. Hope eternal.
What do YOU know of me,? I am not careful, like the wind.
Hello. Here's my name (she whispered it unto him)
Do not misuse it, please
Yet, as she begged, she smiled
If he even TRIED he would be crushed by his own grief
She liked that she never had to do the revenge thing
We who have a large capacity to love, we do it to ourselves and
She don't pick men that do not have a
VERY LARGE
Capacity to love.
He bleeds now by the side of the road
He is grief-stricken, she, hopeful, driving slow to be cool but not too slow to be cavalier.
She'll rescue him like so many times before
Breathe in, mouth to mouth,
Dreamalive. As always.
WONDER
morning pages 09-08-05
Sometimes I wonder why my heart is so large. Sometimes I wonder just
how I can find my way home. Sometimes I wonder what the special deal is.
And still. I find my way home :)
As always. It's one of The Wonders Of The Earth how you
Love me, still, all ways, oh Lord
My loving God.
Wonder
ous.
Humbled, As Usual
I find myself ever humbled at the incredible amont of Caring Work being
done around this planet. Puts my own jackshit psychosies into immense
perspective! Today I did a reading at The alchemist tarot site...
asking God for help in becoming a better human being. Sometimes I
wonder about myself. Seems just when I think I've got it all together,
I turn a corner and run into a brick wall. What am I to do?
Well, continue dancing I guess. Teh. What else CAN I do?
here is the link to the newspaper that inspired me today, "Positive News" (US edition)
http://www.positivenewsus.org/content/home/default_html?addToURL=/default_html
Here's my reading: (from The Alchemist site at:
http://www.sun-angel.com/alchemist/a.cgi
The action I should take:
The idea I should keep in mind:
The emotion I will encounter:
The Next stage of my process:
I Don't Give A Damn What You Think About My Oral Fixation!
I care not what you think about my oral fixation
I've been the veteran of so many wars both foreign and domestic
That I have earned my pleasures.
I care not what your opinion is of my lustful mouth habits
How I lick ice cream slow
And eat bananas in a fashion that's probubly illegal in most states and municipalities
Oh, how I love those bananas in my mouth!
If you wish to share your dissaproval
Of how I love to kiss and kiss wet for hours
How the vibration of the rushing air vibrating my lips when I sing
Arouses me to no end
I will not listen.
I was a dead woman for most of my life
Wounded, misused,
I've taken my power now
I am complete.
You have your pleasures, I have mine
Warm chocolate fudge smeared on my lips
Whipped cream shot straight into my mouth with my head tilted back,
Receptive. Willing. Estatic
So please don't make that sneer
And turn you nose up at me
Unless of course it's to make your mouth more accessible
So that I might kiss it.
You Know, Just About Any Rose WOULD Smell Good Round Now, Romeo...
I am about to return to Maui. Bye Faire Ithaca!!!
Whew.
So, God willing, this diary is being retired.
For a while, I'll be doing my new blog whenever I get to Kihei. It's at:
https://www.angelfire.com/moon2/loverose/roseshavevoices/
The New Homepage, now that WolfEatingLovemoonGoddessPleaser is being retired, is at:
https://www.angelfire.com/moon2/loverose/
Though not sure when/how much work I'll do with it. Tryin to keep the front page simple this time, I really really am
My best NEW poetry will continued to be posted, from coffeehouses or wherever, at:
http://allpoetry.com/poets/ThreeSingingEagles
For now, I officailly close this page, with a wish for you and I as
well, as per the TRUE New World Order as my master, Jesus Christ
taught.... among others who knew what the fuck they were talking
about..... "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.... meaning yourself TOO (I'm
really gettin this one) SO.... in that spirit..... "May the long time
sun shine upon us, all love surround us, and the pure light within us,
guide our way home!"
AMEN!
Love 4 You,
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina ROSE!
*** Morning Pages: From the book
"The Artists Way" by Julie Cameron, a disipline for us artists (meaning
all of us) but especially those of us who work/live in our craft.... 3
pages (minimum) longhand writing first thing in the morning (before
any*one even talks to you, preferably) I have done them nearly every
morning since 1991........ believe me it is not good when I miss them.
I like to do them while drinking my coffee.... but have, (sigh) done
them in the bleak era of.... "B.C." (before coffee). Highly reccomended
for all. PS You are really not supposed to show your Morning Pages to
anyone but then again I am rarely real good at followin the rules and
shi'li'dat...... tee hee hee
GO
BACK HOME TO WOLF EATING LOVEMOON GODDESS PLEASER YOUNG LADY
