What am I, chopped liver?
The phrase, “What am I, chopped liver?” means don’t dismiss me as being insignificant.
Chopped liver is always served as a side dish, never as a main dish. It therefore makes a good metaphor for someone who's being treated as unimportant or dispensable.
An old Jewish man was dying in the hospital. His family - wife, children, grandchildren - came to see him but only one was allowed in the room at a time. Grandson Ben went in first. "Hello, Grampa Moishe. Can I do something for you?" "Yes," said Grampa Moishe. Go tell Gramma Sadie I want some of her chopped liver.
Ben went out and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe he can't have any chopped liver. It would kill him."
Ben went back in and reported. "You tell Gramma Sadie I want the chopped liver. I'm dying anyway and it won't make any difference."
Ben went and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe he can't have any. The chopped liver is for the shiva."
It seems a group of leading medical people have published data that indicates that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
Chopped Liver Sandwich
"Excuse me," Nissbaum said to the cashier at David's Deli, as he examined the check, "what's this eight bucks for?"
"For the chopped liver sandwich, sir."
"Really?" said the startled customer. "Whose liver was it, Rockefeller's?"
High Street Shopping
A Jew was walking on Regent Street in London and stopped in to a posh gourmet food shoppe. An impressive salesperson in morning coat with tails approached him and politely asked, "May I help you, Sir?"
"Yes," replied the customer, "I would like to buy a pound of lox."
"No. No," responded the dignified salesperson, "You mean smoked salmon."
"Okay, a pound of smoked salmon."
"Yes, a dozen blintzes."
"No. No. You mean crepes."
"Okay, a dozen crepes."
"Yes. A pound of chopped liver. "
"No. No. You mean pate."
"Okay," said the Jewish patron, "A pound of pate. And," he added, "I'd like you to deliver this to my house next Saturday."
"Look," retorted the indignant salesperson, "We don't schlep on Shabbos!"
Kosher version of Dr. Seuss
Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER,
Let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them Sam-I-am.
But I'll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I'll try them with some brisket.
I'll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up inside some matzoh brei!
And in a boat upon the river,
I'll eat green eggs with chopped liver!
So if you're a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham,
Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!
The Bar Mitzvah was being held in the Royal Box at the Fountainbleu Catering Hall in the Bronx. The room was decorated lavishly with beautiful flowers. The smorgasbord table was overflowing with hot and cold delicacies to tempt any appetite. Statues of ice, spewing forth pink punch, were at either end of the long table. Mr & Mrs Harry Teitlebaum arrive a little late. They surveyed the situation and were annoyed by the ostentation. They were civil rights workers and it bothered them to see so much money spent on so worthless a cause. But their cousin Bruce's Bar Mitzvah was a must or Mama Teitlebaum would never forgive them. As they walked to one of the three bars for a drink, the hostess greeted them warmly and gushed, "Isn't this a beautiful affair?" And pointing to a small round table topped witha life-sized sculpture of the Bar Mitzvah boy made of chopped liver, she asked, "And what do you think of the gorgeous statue of my Bruce?"
This was just too much for Harry Teitlebaum. In a voice dripping with sarcasm, he snarled, "Why, I've never seen anything to equal it. Who did it?
Lipschitz or Epstein?"
"Lipschitz, of course, darling!" boasted the proud mama, "Epstein works only in halvah!"
Chopped Liver Recipes
jewish-food CHOPPED LIVER archives
Passover Chopped Liver
Chopped Liver Recipe
The Amazing Low-Fat Chopped Liver
Mock Chopped Liver
Walnut Egg Chopped
Sweet Pea Chopped
Egg Plant Chopped
Green Bean Chopped
Faux Chopped Liver