playing…
it's so much easier
than showing
everything you want or are.
because playing…
makes it easier to hide--
and toys can be replaced.
not like everything you are
or everything you
want.
I would rather replace
my toys.
I like to play.
the difficulty comes when
everything gets
complicated;
when I have to give something
I haven't realized
it's possible to give.
playing's very selfish--
a protection if you will--
but selfish
nonetheless.
sharing's much more difficult.
I could lose
so much more.
sometimes the realization of
losing
is enough I can forget
everything
I could gain
and it's not worth it.
even knowing what I want
I can't bring myself to
share.
it leaves my soul
so open
I imagine
being stripped of everything
and exposed
and the same feeling envelopes
me.
I just can't do it.
I'm unable to leave myself open…
even to myself.
getting close is enough
to make me hide
and find new toys.
I like to play.