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Questions about me
What do I eat and drink, how much, when and why? This changes. I make no rules and eat anything that I want. Usually spring water, a bit of fruit juice diluted with water. Some fruit- and other cold soups. Chicken and peanuts. Some fruits. And various foods that I am offered or new foods that I am always wanting to taste yet once only is enough. As for amounts, a few tablespoons up to two or three glasses of water or fruitjuice-water is enough. Half a bowl of soup is enough at a time. Chicken and peanuts I take handful of at a time. Fruit a few tablespoons (two up to five). And other foods that I have not had before and want to taste, one tablespoon amount is enough to find out. As for 'when', anytime during the day I suppose. Reasons for eating is mainly that I try my best to keep eating and drinking all I can, and anything that I can consider eating I just eat, yet this is very little. Chicken and peanuts I love the feeling of, and I keep it in the mouth for a long time, sometimes I spit it out after the taste and feeling is gone. However, I want to add that I eat scents and feelings. The scent of some perfumes, and a shampoo that I have, feel nourishing or uplifting. Fresh air, rain, the humidity that plants emit, looking at fruits, are also food sources to me.
What keeps me alive and nourishes me? Life itself. The life I have found in me. All the thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, the heartbeats, breaths, everything I see and hear, each of my steps, all this is life. I would say it is because I'm a very stubborn person who got angry when people paid more attention to foods and superficial things than to life itself, so I just refuse to lose my sense of being me.
Am I a breatharian? No. Ever since breatharianism first started developing naturally in me, I have fought against it, trying to remain 'normal' in terms of eating. I have not been brave enough to discover how it would feel to just give in and not eat when there is no hunger. I am afraid I would 'get caught' and not want to return to eating. So what would I say, how would I live, as a breatharian, in a world where everyone eats and all is about food? I do all I can to keep eating and drinking, yet there is no hunger or interest or pleasure from food. I don't need to eat, yet I want to stay with it. But my non-eating feels natural and ok.
What do I tell people about this? I am just about to do something very daring! I will tell my family and friends about my loss of hunger and being nourished by light/life. I have not yet told anyone, and kept it a secret.
Why did I keep this a secret? I am afraid to be seen as 'the one who does not eat', or 'the breatharian'. There is absolutely nothing special about me, I am just a person. And I want people to see me as a person! Also I slightly fear that people will attack my way of life, so having been waiting for so long this has integrated into me and is now something that no one could remove or dismiss. And I never wanted to be different. I never asked for this or chose it. I am just a person, who for some reason had something unusual or spectacular happen. Another reason of keeping it a secret is denial. I have denied this and fought against it mainly because of guilt; why should I find such beauty when no one else could? It is soon to change as I tell people.
Why do I write a book about it, do seminars and make this webpage? Most of this is my own thinking and questions, and the answers I have found. The book will be my conclusion of this experience I have had. But I also find that people may benefit from the information. I want breatharianism to be accepted and understood, because breatharians - or even people who eat less - are PEOPLE. I do not want breatharian people to have to feel in any ways rejected, and I do not want eating people to feel offensive toward breatharianism. We are all just people.