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I
believe you should live each day as if it is your
last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry
because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the
last day of their life? Give
me the strength to change the things I can, the
grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great
big bag of money. It
sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's
birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course,
then we would have a lot of people voting for a
candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for
the long weekends. Democracy
is a beautiful thing, except for that part about
letting just any old yokel vote. Home
is where the house is. For
centuries, people thought the moon was made of green
cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon
is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to
cheese when you leave it out. When
I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again.
But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man
smell. I
once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm."
Unless it was just a lawn mower. As
you make your way through this hectic world of ours,
set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of
the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Often,
when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank
my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an
unlisted number. It
would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got
into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because
if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
Think
of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then,
imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's
five more than the biggest number you could come
up with! The
only stupid question is the one that is never asked,
except maybe "Don't you think it is about time
you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally
wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was
speeding?" If
we could just get everyone to close his or her eyes
and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how
serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
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"I will prepare, and some day my chance will come. "
--Abraham Lincoln--
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
minds"
--Albert Einstein--
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts."
--Albert Einstein--
"The important thing is to not stop questioning. "
--Albert Einstein--
"Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety."
--Ben Franklin--
"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff
life is made of."
--Ben Franklin--
"Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in
the shade."
--Ben Franklin--
"Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in
its
nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he
wants.
Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one."
--Ben Franklin--
"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate
him."
--Booker T. Washington--
"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position
that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has
overcome while trying to succeed."
--Booker T. Washington--
"The old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind."
--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.--
"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would
still plant my apple tree."
--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.--
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. "
--John F. Kennedy--
"Some people see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not?"
--Robert F. Kennedy--Originally by George Bernard Shaw.
"I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work."
--Thomas Edison--
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving
his
goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental
attitude."
--Thomas Jefferson--
"On matters of style, swim with the current, on matters of principle, stand like a rock."
Sing in the shower.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
Never refuse homemade brownies.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Plant a tree on your birthday.
Learn 3 clean jokes.
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.
Compliment 3 people every day.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Floss your teeth.
Ask for a raise when you think you've earned it.
Overtip breakfast waitresses.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Say, "Thank you" a lot.
Say, "Please" a lot.
Avoid negative people.
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards.
Wear polished shoes.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Carry jumper cables in your truck.
Have a firm handshake.
Send lots of Valentine cards.
Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're terrific."
Look people in the eye.
Be the first to say hello.
Use the good silver.
Return all things you borrow.
Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.
Keep a few secrets.
Sing in a choir.
Plant flowers every spring.
Have a dog.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Wave at kids on school busses.
Be there when people need you.
Feed a stranger's expired parking meter.
Don't expect life to be fair.
Never underestimate the power of love.
Drink champagne for no reason at all.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."
Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know."
Compliment even small improvements.
Keep your promises no matter what.
Marry for love.
Rekindle old friendships.
Count your blessings.
Call your mother.
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