It was around 3:00 when I went to go talk to Ashley. Jake and I got up around 1:00 after lying in bed for an hour or so, just talking. I knocked on Ashley’s door. I could hear ‘ Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing’ playing in his room. I nearly teared up right there, but I was determined not to cry. I was happy with Jake. There was just something that felt right about us this time. We dated for about a year and a half when I lived in San Diego. We broke up a few months after he moved to Orlando. The distance was too much. He and Janie eventually got back together. Although, they broke up again a few months later, but that’s them for you. Ashley hadn’t answered me so I knocked on the door again, this time a bit louder.

"Come In!" He shouted, obviously having heard me this time. I opened his door a bit and peeked in. I saw him lying on his bed. I opened the door the rest of the way and walked into his room.

"Hi." I said quietly. "Mind if I sit down?" I asked, standing by his door, feeling very awkward.

He shrugged his shoulders at me. Then he turned his head to face me.

"It’s a free country isn’t it?" Instead of replying I just sat down at the end of his bed.

"Can we talk?" I asked a couple of minutes later.

"I guess."

"I’m sorry." I offered as a beginning to the argument I knew was in store.

"Sorry my ass." He quipped.

" You know what?" I asked getting defensive all of a sudden. "You’re right. I’m NOT sorry. I felt something with Jake. No, it probably wasn’t the best choice that I’ve ever made, but it felt right. I don’t regret it and I’m not going to let you make me feel guilty about it. You’re my best friend Ashley. I love you and I don’t want to lose you as a friend."

"What I don’t get is how you can go from being so in love with me that you break up with your boyfriend to sleeping with Jacob in one night. It doesn’t seem possible."

" I don’t get it either, but it happened. I’m sorry if it hurt you, but it happened. I love Jake and I wanna be with. I’m going to be with him and that’s something that you’re just going to have to deal with. Whether you like it or not. I’m hoping that we can still be friends though. You’ve been my best friend for twenty years. I don’t want to lose that just because I’m with Jacob."

" I don’t know Amanda. I don’t know if our friendship will ever be the same again. I hope that it can, but right now, I just don’t know."

I sighed dejectedly and looked down at my lap.

"Well, tell me when you figure it out. You know where to find me. Ok?"

" Alright." He said. Knowing that that was the end of our conversation I got up from his bed and left his room, closing his door, softly, behind me. I went back to my room to do some serious thinking.

" Come in!" I shouted, hearing a knock at my door. I turned my head towards my door to see Ashley walking over to my bed.

" Can I sit down?" he asked standing by my bed.

"Sure." He sat down and then turned so that he was facing me.

"Can we talk?" Now where had I heard that before? Oh yeah! I said it about two hours ago. Gee...go figure.

" I guess." She said answering my question. I was starting to get déjà vu. I was actually really nervous about talking to Amanda. I know that sounds crazy. She’s my best friend. I should be able to talk to her about anything. However, I was really nervous. It may have been what I came to talk to her about that made me so nervous but never the less I was nervous and I had to talk to her.

" I love you." I said starting off our conversation.

"I love you too Ashley." She said giving me a bit of a questioning look.

"No, I mean I’m in love with you. I know what I said yesterday and I know that you’re with Jacob. I’m probably just complicating things by telling you this, but I had to. I owe it to you, at least, to let you know how I really feel. Yesterday with the kiss and everything, it just really took me off guard. I didn’t know what to say or do. I knew though that for whatever reason, us being together last night, wouldn’t have been a good idea. Maybe it was because you were supposed to be with Jacob. I don’t know. I still want to be friends with you. Maybe that’s all we’re really ever meant to be. I don’t understand how I can be in love with someone who’s just supposed to be my best friend but I am. I know that you’re with Jacob now, so I promise not to interfere with your relationship. Besides, I’m still with Shelli, and she makes me happy, so I’ll be all right. I’m sorry for getting so upset earlier. It just really shocked me to see the two of you together. I want you to still feel like you can come talk to me though. You know that right? That you can talk to me about anything." She nodded so I smiled. We hugged and I got up.

" Well, I’m gonna go downstairs and watch some TV, wanna come?"

" No, thanks for asking though. I think I’m gonna go see if Jake wants to go on a walk or something."

"Ok. Well, I’ll talk to you later then."

" Ok." I left and went downstairs to watch TV.

I had just stepped out of my room and was on my way to Manda’s room, when I bumped into someone. I looked up to see Manda right infront of me.

" I was just going to look for you." I said reaching for her hand.

" I was coming to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk." She said as she led me towards the stairs.

" A walk sounds great." I said as we walked down the stairs.

" Jacob and me are going for a walk! We’ll be back in an hour!" she shouted as we walked out the door, closing it behind us. The sun was just beginning to set as we walked outside. It was a really beautiful sunset too.

" I talked to Ashley." She said breaking my thoughts.

"What’d he say?"

" He apologized for freaking out and said that he still wanted to be friends."

" He apologized for freaking out and said that he still wanted to be friends." I didn’t want to tell Jacob anymore than he needed to. All he needed to know was that Ashley was ok with us being together. I didn’t want to worry him by telling him that Ashley was in love with me. There was no reason to worry anyways. I was with him now and that was that. We stayed silent for the rest of our walk, happy to just be together.

" We’re back!" Jacob shouted as we entered the house. We walked into the living room to see Dan and Ashley watching ‘The Haunting’ and it had just started.

" Oooo! I love this movie!" I exclaimed jumping over the back of the couch and plopping down next to Ashley. He laughed at me and I just shot him a dirty look. Jacob walked around the side of the couch and sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close as he did so.

"I’m hungry." Dan announced about five minutes later.

"Really? And I always thought you were Dan. Huh." I said looking at him like he had just said the most interesting thing in the world.

" Shut up." He said, throwing a pillow at me.

" If you’re hungry, then order a pizza." Ashley said, not taking his eyes off the movie.

" Ok. Anyone else hungry." The three of us mumbled a yea and Dan left to go order the pizza.

" Hey, where are Trevor and Erik?" I asked noticing that they weren’t there.

"They went clubbing. Dan and me didn’t feel like going so we stayed here."

"Oh. Ok." I said focusing on the movie once again. Dan came in a couple of minutes later and said that the pizza would be there in about half an hour. The pizza came half an hour later as promised. Dan brought it into the living room and we all took several pieces. The movie was over about an hour later. Ashley went upstairs and Dan went to go use the computer.

"They left us all alone." Jacob whispered in my ear.

"So I noticed." I said before kissing him. We had been making out for about an hour when we heard someone clearing their throat. I looked up and saw Dan starring down at us.

"Dan. Hi." I said pushing Jacob up.

" We were just leaving." Jacob said as he took my hand and led me upstairs to his room. I heard Dan laughing behind us. He lit the candles on his stereo cabinet and turned on the stereo. Marvin Gaye’s voice instantly filled the room as ‘Let’s Get It On’ started to play. I started laughing and Jacob did too. He came over and sat next to me on his bed. Our laughing slowly died down. We stared at eachother for a minute and then leaned in to kiss. Our lips connected for just a second and then I pulled away. I kissed him light and soft on the lips several times. Backing up farther on the bed each time. Eventually we reached the top of the bed. I finally gave in and kissed him. He deepened the kiss and I pulled him close to me reaching up and turning off the light next to his bed as I did so. The candles cast a soft yellow glow off the walls.

We were lying in his bed, our legs entwined and bodies presses together in a spoon position. I could tell by Jake’s breathing that he was already asleep. I smiled in spite of myself and hugged his arms closer to me. Last night had been raw and passionate. Tonight had been slow and tender. Both times were great. I noticed that ‘Let’s Get It On’ was still playing so I reached over to grab the remote to Jacob’s stereo and changed the song. ‘Animal Crackers’ from the Armageddon soundtrack came on. I loved this song it was so sweet. I dozed off a few minutes later feeling safe and warm in Jacob’s protective arms.

home

Chapter 6-Almost Doesn't Count

Chapters