Chapter 4-I’ll Make Love To You
’I’ll make love to you like you want me to and I will not let go until you tell me to’ –Boyz II Men ‘I’ll Make Love To You’
My mind kept screaming at me to stop. It kept telling me that it was wrong and that I shouldn’t be doing this. My heart, however, had a different point of view. In my heart this felt right. I don’t know what it was, but I felt something that I had never felt before when Jacob and I had kissed in the past. I knew that kissing him would only complicate things, but I couldn’t stop myself. It felt so good, and so right to be kissing him. The second his lips touched mine we became the only two people in the world. There was no Ashley, no broken heart, just Jacob and me in this perfect moment. After we’d been kissing for a few minutes we broke away. He pecked me once and then went over to the stereo and turned it on. My favorite CD was on. It was the CD Jacob had made for me right before he left for Orlando. It was full of romantic songs. The first one was ‘I’ll Make Love To You’ by Boyz II Men. While he was turning on the stereo I lit the vanilla scented candles by my bed. He came back over and sat next to me on the bed. I crawled into his arms and we sat there for a few minutes just listening to the music.
"You know, there really wasn’t any reason to apologize for kissing me. That kiss felt so wonderful and so right. I wouldn’t mind if you did it again." I said looking up at him. In seconds his lips were pressed against mine again. This time he was the one to deepen the kiss.
This time I was the one who deepened the kiss. She let a soft moan escape as I did. I gently pushed her back on the bed so that she was lying down and I was on top of her. After we’d been kissing for awhile she slowly pushed her hands up my shirt, bringing it with her. We didn’t stop kissing until we absolutely had to. The second my shirt was out of the way we started kissing again. Her shirt soon followed suit as well as our pants and her bra.
" Are you sure?" I questioned, not wanting to push her farther than she was willing to go. She nodded and I bent my head down and began kissing her again.
Now we were lying in her bed, wrapped in eachother’s arms under the covers. ‘I Will Love You’ by Fisher was playing right now. I was just sort of staring straight ahead, rhythmically running my thumb across her arm. She turned her head to look up at me and I looked down at her.
" I love you." She said smiling at me.
" I love you too." I said kissing her.
I may have had a lot of doubts in my mind right now, but that wasn’t one of them. I knew that I loved her and that she loved me. I doubted that this was the right thing to do. I wasn’t sure that she loved me the way that I loved her. I hoped to god that she did though, because my life was better with her and her love in it. I was so worried about Ashley. I was worried about how he would react and what he would do.
"Jake, honey, I know you’re worried, but I really don’t think that you have anything to worry about." She said breaking my thoughts.
" I’ve known you for four years. I know your worry face. Stop worrying. There’s nothing to worry about. I love you. Us, together, this is right. I thought that I was in love with Ashley and that I wanted to be with him. Maybe I do, but when you kissed me, Jake I don’t know, but I’ve never felt that way before. I love you and I want to be with you."
"I want to be with you too Manda. I love you."
.::The Next Morning::.
"Amanda have you se-..." I shouted bursting into Amanda’s room the next morning at 7:00am.
" OH MY GOD !" I shouted after seeing Jacob and Amanda in bed together. I didn’t need to see her carelessly tossed shirt on the floor, or his boxers next to it to know that they had slept together. I couldn’t believe her. She asked me to... and I said no so she goes to Jacob?!? Am I the only one who sees a problem with this? That wasn’t fair to me or to Jacob. I ran down stairs and out the front door shouting something about a walk and slamming it behind me on my way out.
"OH MY GOD!!" I heard someone scream. I woke up just in time to catch a glimpse of Ashley and hear the door slam. Great! Just fucking peachy. He was pissed. This was just perfect. Now instead of our break starting tomorrow, we’d have to practice tomorrow and cancel today. THIS SUCKS! I sighed and turned my head to see if Amanda was still asleep or not.
"Was it Ashley that slammed the door?" she asked starring up at me from her pillow.
" yeah and he looked pretty pissed."
" don’t worry about him. I’ll talk to him later. For now let’s just lie here and listen to music and enjoy being together, ok?" I laughed at her groggy ‘I’m-barely-awake’ tone.
" Ok, I think that I can do that." I kissed the top of her head and settled back under the covers. We drifted off a few minutes later, content just to be together. Together. Me ‘n’ her. I would giggle right now. I’m so happy. But I’m too tired to.