After we had all finished dinner I took all the dishes to the kitchen to wash them. The guys had insisted that I let them do the dishes and clean up since I had made dinner. However, I refused. They’d worked hard all day long and needed rest. Ok, so that was really all just a load of crap, but I still had a lot on my mind. I needed something to distract myself from those thoughts and this seemed like the perfect thing to do it. However, contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t. I concentrated MORE on Ashley and how perfect he was and how much I wanted to be with him. ARGH! Ashley was really starting to get on my nerves. Ok, well not really but I was really getting pissed off that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

I wonder what Amanda’s doing? I got up from my bed and went down to the kitchen where I heard ‘Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’, by Aerosmith (just incase you live under a rock or something), playing on the radio while rinsing off the dishes and putting them into the dishwasher. Not being able to help myself I went up behind her and wrapped my arms around her slender waist and hugged her to me.

I was silently mouthing the words to ‘Don’t Want To miss A thing’, which was currently playing on the radio. Armageddon had been the last movie Ashley and I went to see before I had to move to San Diego. We made this our song the night before I left. I was so caught up in the song that I didn’t notice anyone come into the kitchen until I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist. It startled me, so I glanced up to see who the intruder was. When I saw that it was Ashley I turned around and continued rinsing the dishes. A few seconds later he started to quietly sing the song to me. After I’d finished with the dish that I was rinsing, I turned around and looped my arms around Ashley’s neck and we started dancing to the song.

" Do you remember the night we made that our song?" He asked as the song ended and ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’, by Savage Garden, came on.

" Of course I do. How could I ever forget a night as sweet and romantic as that?" I asked, slowing down our dancing to where we were practically standing still.

Ashley shrugged and backed me up so that I was leaning against the counter.

" Did you and Jacob ever...?" he asked trailing off his sentence.

" Did you and Jacob ever...?"I asked, not even being able to finish my sentence. I couldn’t bring myself to say it. The thought of them, together, like that; it just didn’t sit well with me. Not that it really mattered. I mean, I was with Shelli, Shelli made me happy. I’m begging to sound like a broken record aren’t I. Like I said before, hopefully someday it’ll actually come true.

" No. I never felt the same way for him as I did for you."

" Well, he certainly talks about you a lot. All we heard from him today was, Amanda this and Amanda that. Sounds like you guys are pretty close. Almost like, you found a new best friend." That was my worst fear at the moment. That she had replaced me with Jacob.

" Ashley, how could you even think that? Jacob and I may be close, and he may be a lot of things to me, but you’re so much more to me." I just looked at her skeptically. Not really sure weather or not I should believe her.

" You know me inside and out. You probably know more about me than I know about me. You were my first crush, my first love, my kiss, my first boyfriend, my first time."

"But I thought-..."

" Nope, you were my first time." She said cutting me off before I had the chance to get halfway through my sentence.

" Nope, you were my first time." I said cutting him off. I knew what he was going to say and I didn’t want to hear it.

" So you mean that was your only time?"

" Yep. You were my first and only time. " I said looking him straight in the eye.

" Ashley?" I asked a minute later.

" Hm-..." I cut him off by kissing him. I couldn’t stand it anymore. He was so close to me. His smell was intoxicating and I wanted to be with him so much. We stood there completely wrapped up in eachother just kissing for about five minutes. I broke away from our kiss and looked directly into his eyes for the second time that night.

She looked directly into my eyes and asked me something I never thought she’d say.

" Will you be my second time?" It caught me completely off guard and I didn’t know what to do. For whatever reason, at that moment, I thought of Shelli.

" No."

" No? Seriously no?"

" No. I mean, what about Josh and Shelli. We can’t. It wouldn’t do either of us any good."

" I broke up with Josh this morning. I’m still in love with you Ashley. I want to be with you and I thought that you wanted to be with me too. I guess I was wrong."

With that said I ran upstairs to my room. I wasn’t about to let him see me cry over him. Once I had shut the door, I broke down crying. I fell back on my bed and just lay there sobbing into my pillow. I seriously thought that he still loved me. How could I have been so wrong. It hurt so much. I’d been crying for probably a good twenty minutes when I heard a knock at my door. Assuming it was Ashley, I screamed for the person to go away. I heard the door open and someone walk over the bed. I knew that they had sat down because I could feel the bed move.

" Please just leave me alone. Haven’t you hurt me enough for one day?" I asked the person whom I thought was Ashley.

" huh?"

" Jacob? " I asked turning over to see him staring back at me. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck. He in turn wrapped his arms around my back and just let me cry onto his shoulder. A few minutes later my tears ran dry.

" What happened?" Jacob asked pulling away just enough to look me in the eye.

" Ashley. That’s what happened."

" What did he do to make you so upset."

" You know how me and him were still dating when I moved to San Diego and then broke up because of the distance. Well, I never really stopped having feelings for him. I just sort of pushed them away and made myself forget that they were ever even there. Then yesterday, when I saw him, all my feelings came rushing back. I really wanted to be with him again, and I thought he wanted to be with me too. I even broke up with Josh this morning. But when I asked him in the kitchen, he basically said that he’d rather be with Shelli."

" Oh Amanda. I’m so sorry. That’s awful. I don’t know what Ashley was thinking when he turned you down. He has to be on something, because nobody in their right mind would choose Shelli over you. Shelli is a whining, manipulative, bitch. You’re amazing Amanda. I love you." I was saying just about anything at that point to make her smile. It was all true but that’s beside the point.

" I love you to Jake. Thanks for being such a great friend." A friend wonderful just what I wanted to be. We used to be more, but now.

" Oh, yeah. Uh your welcome." I said half-heartedly.

" Listen, I know that you’re in love with Ashley and that I’m just a friend to you. So that’s why I apologize in advance for what I’m about to do, but I have to do it."

Chapter 4-- I'll Make Love To You

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