Chapter 30

Monday, March 4^th

Boston

Dianna finished packing the last of her things. All of the boxes were finally out of her apartment. She looked around making sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. A knock at the door startled her. She opened the door and sighed.

"Curtis, if a lawyer isn’t with you, I would really rather not talk to you," she said.

"Is it because of your new boyfriend?" he asked, angrily. Dianna frowned.

"I don’t have a ‘new boyfriend,’" she told him.

"I saw that show the other night. You know, the one with that boy group. You were on there and you were at some cabin dancing with him. Really close, too," Curtis said. Dianna looked into his green eyes and shook her head. He wouldn’t let go. The divorce was still being processed and Dianna refused to wait anymore. She wanted out of Boston---and away from Curtis, who was getting more possessive as the days passed.

"He’s just a friend," she explained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That group lives in Orlando, right? Is that why you’re moving down there?" he asked. Dianna was starting to get angry.

"No! I would go anywhere at this point that is away from you. I happen to like Florida. The fact that O-Town is there has nothing to do with my decision. I have friends there and hopefully I’ll be able to get a physical therapy job at a place that I enjoy. If you would just cooperate and sign the damn divorce papers, I’d be happy!" she yelled.

"You’re mad at me? You ask me for a divorce out of the blue and you expect me to be okay with it?"

"We don’t belong together, Curtis. Why can’t you see that?" Dianna asked, frustration in her voice. She looked at her watch. "I have to go. I’ll have my lawyer call you. I give up. I want her to handle everything from now on. I don’t want to talk to you or have any contact with you." Dianna picked up a box, signaling for him to move. Curtis did so and watched her as she locked up the apartment. "Goodbye." Dianna walked away. Curtis frowned. That guy in the group had a lot to do with why Dianna was going to Orlando. She could deny it all she wanted but Curtis knew better.

"You’ll never have her, pal," he muttered as he walked toward the elevator.

Orlando

Maria was lying in her bed, the covers pulled high over her head. Sarah opened the door and peeked in. She was worried about her sister. Ever since Maria had gotten home, she’d been moody and miserable. Sarah had finally called Susan, who was on her way over. Making The Band hadn’t helped. The cabin episode had been on Saturday night and Maria had freaked out when footage of her dancing with Alex had been shown. Sarah didn’t blame her---it was a pretty racy scene that didn’t help Maria’s image at all.

Sarah was still wondering what had happened between Maria and Jacob. Maria refused to discuss it, but something had obviously happened or Maria wouldn’t have come home. Sarah felt sorry for her. Maria was pregnant and shouldn’t be stressed, but Sarah couldn’t believe that Jacob would do anything to hurt her or stress her out in her condition. ‘I just wish I knew what was going on,’ she thought.

Closing the door, Sarah walked to the kitchen to put some tea on for Maria. She was bummed herself. She hadn’t seen Miguel since her birthday when she had met him. He had given her his number---she didn’t feel safe giving hers, it was just something she didn’t like to do, especially with someone she didn’t know. She hadn’t called him. He was nice and cute, though. They had talked and danced, but there was something about him that made Sarah nervous. She was probably just being too cautious, but she was better being safe than sorry.

Sarah wished that Emily hadn’t left. She had gone to meet up with O-Town in Monaco. Lucky her. Here, Maria was miserable and Emily was flying off to meet the ‘enemy.’ Sarah knew that Emily was upset with Jacob for whatever he had done to Maria, so Sarah kind of hoped that Emily gave him a piece of her mind when she saw him. There was a knock at the door. Sarah went and opened it.

"Hey, Susan," Sarah said, letting her in.

"Hi, Sarah. It’s been a long time," Susan said, hugging the younger girl.

"I’m so glad you’re here. Maria is really upset, but she’s being stubborn and won’t talk to me."

"Is Emily here?" Sarah shook her head.

"She went to Monaco to see the guys perform at the World Music Awards. She won’t be back until the tenth." Susan nodded. "Maria is still sleeping. She’s been really tired and moody."

"She is pregnant, honey. That’s normal," Susan said, laughing. Sarah smiled.

"I suppose, but whatever Jacob did has Maria really upset." Susan nodded. She’d talk to Maria and see what was going on. It was times like this that Maria needed her mother. Susan was happy to fill that role since Maria’s real mother was virtually useless.

Monaco

Erik looked out his hotel window. He should be happy, but he wasn’t. There were too many personal issues going on within the group that had to be fixed. He knew that he was the cause of one of them---Jacob and Maria’s situation. Jacob hadn’t been speaking to him and that hurt Erik, but he felt that he had done what he had to do for the band’s sake. He seemed to have made things worse, though. Turning away from the window, Erik suddenly knew what he had to do. He quickly left his hotel room in search of the rest of the band.

Jacob was tired. He sat on his bed, gently strumming his guitar, thinking about Maria. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her since she had left. Mike C. had told him that Maria had left early the morning that Jacob had woken up alone. It hurt that she hadn’t said ‘goodbye,’ but Jacob hardly blamed her. He didn’t feel bad about making love to her that night, either. She hadn’t pushed him away, so he knew that she still loved and wanted him. It was the situation that they were in that was frustrating. He had chosen the band over her---over her and the baby when he said that he’d always put her first.

Jacob roughly strummed his guitar and put it aside. He put his hands on his head and pulled at his hair. Was he crazy? No. He wanted his career, he wanted Maria, but she came with a baby. He couldn’t ignore that. He loved his music, but he loved her, too. He was torn and didn’t know what to do. After Maria had left, Jacob had distanced himself from the group. He kept mainly to himself except when they had performances and promotional appearances. His concentration had improved since Maria had been gone, so the Mikes were happy. ‘As long as they’re happy,’ Jacob thought and laughed humorlessly.

"Jake?" Ashley’s voice called, followed by a knock at the door. Jacob walked over and opened it. "Hey, we’re having a band meeting in Dan’s room."

"Is this about me?" Jacob asked. What else would it be about?

"I don’t know. Erik just, like, asked that I come and get you," Ashley told him. Jacob sighed. He walked over to his bed, pulled on his sneakers and followed Ashley to Dan’s room.

Kristi watched as Alex loaded film into a camera. Alex had been taking pictures for Maria since Maria had left. Alex missed Maria, but they needed pictures for the supplement or Kyle would kill them both. The film refused to load. Alex threw the camera down on the bed and cursed.

"Damn thing! Maria can load film into a camera with her eyes closed. I’m a stylist. Maria’s the photographer. This sucks!" she exclaimed.

"Relax. I’m sure Maria could sketch better pictures than the ones you take---no offense," Kristi said. Alex nodded.

"You’re probably right." She stood up and walked over to the window. She felt lonely. She was mad at Erik and he knew it. Alex had spent most of the trip since Erik had given Jacob an ultimatum hanging out with Jacob, who was miserable. Erik had made things so much worse than they had been.

"Hey, Alex?" Alex turned around to face Kristi.

"Yeah?"

"Does Trevor have a thing for Maria?" she asked. Alex sat down on the bed.

"Why?" Kristi shrugged.

"I just think he does," she said.

"Are you jealous?" Alex asked, smiling. Kristi stood up.

"I like Trevor. When he kissed me in the hospital, when he was all drugged up, I felt something, but he hasn’t mentioned it or anything. I don’t think he remembers, but I think he was told what happened. He’s so damn shy, though. If I wait for him to do or say anything, it might be too late for anything to happen."

"Why don’t you make the first move?" Alex asked.

"I want to, but if he’s hung up on Maria…"

"He’s not…at least not anymore. Maria’s pregnant with Jacob’s baby. He knows he has no chance anyway. They’re just friends," Alex assured her. Kristi nodded. Maybe she should be the aggressive one. But how would she go about approaching him?

Orlando

Susan sat on the edge of Maria’s bed, running a hand over Maria’s hair. There were dark circles beneath Maria’s eyes and she was restless. She finally opened her eyes and sat up when she saw Susan sitting beside her.

"When did you get here?" Maria asked, sleepily.

"A little while ago. Sarah’s worried---and so am I," Susan told her. Maria lay down again.

"I never want to get up," she whined.

"Oh, stop it! That’s not the Maria Carpenter I know. The Maria Carpenter I know would get her butt out of this bed and not feel sorry for herself," Susan said sternly. Maria frowned.

"You have no idea what’s going on," she said.

"Then tell me. Talk to me. Get your anger out. I’m sure once you tell me, you’ll feel a lot better." Maria pushed herself up into a sitting position. Susan fixed the pillows behind Maria’s back and waited.

"Jacob chose the band over me and his baby," Maria said, softly. "He told me that he’d always put me first, yet he told me to go. I don’t want to sound selfish and I don’t expect him to give up the band or his career for me, but…you weren’t there, Susan. It was awful." Susan took one of Maria’s hands in hers.

"Jacob is young. You may think that you’re ready to have a baby, but maybe, in his mind, he’s still, how would you put it? He’s still freaking out about it. Right now, he must feel torn between you and the band." Maria nodded.

"He is. I know he is. Erik made him choose. He forced him to pick what was more important to him. Well, Jacob made his choice---and it wasn’t me," she said, anger creeping into her voice.

"Put yourself in his place, Maria. He’s in a popular band that has a ridiculously busy schedule. You can’t just expect him to drop all of that to take care of you."

"I don’t expect that," Maria said and sighed. "I’m so confused, Susan. The last night I was with them, the night before I left, Jacob came to my hotel room. I was so mad at him and he knew that. We had had a bad fight on the bus."

"What happened?"

"We made love." Susan frowned. Maria smiled. "I know what you’re thinking. We were both angry, we barely said two words to each other, but we made love anyway."

"He must’ve said something." Maria sighed again, thinking. She shook her head.

"Not really. He didn’t even tell me he loved me that night. He seemed desperate almost, like he needed me right at that moment. He wasn’t as gentle as he usually is either." Susan nodded, beginning to understand.

"I think maybe he just needed to feel like you were still his and that just because you were leaving, you weren’t leaving him."

"Do you think he wants to control me? It was like he was claiming me as his or something. I don’t know. It just wasn’t like him. He says that sex isn’t what our relationship is about, yet he comes to me, knowing that I’m mad at him, and he just takes me---and I let him." Maria laughed bitterly.

"You can tell him no," Susan said. Maria smiled.

"I wish. Susan, when he looks at me a certain way…forget it. His damn eyes do it to me every time. I’m weak when it comes to him. I know that, but I love him," she said, her smile fading. Susan smiled.

"I know he loves you too, so don’t you worry. As soon as he gets back, you two have to sit down and talk."

"He doesn’t want a baby. He told me straight out that he isn’t ready to be a father," Maria said, sadly. Susan leaned forward and hugged Maria.

"Jacob is a responsible young man. He’ll do right by you, Maria. He loves you and love is a powerful feeling. He’ll come around," she said. "Besides, you have a lot of friends who are here to help you…and Jacob." Maria closed her eyes. Susan was right. Maria knew that Jacob loved her. Jacob was freaked out with good reason right now, but things would work out. She just had to have faith.

Monaco

Dan, Trevor and Erik were waiting in Dan’s room when Ashley and Jacob arrived. There was no camera filming them, which was odd.

"What’s up?" Ashley asked, sitting down on the bed next to Trevor, who shrugged. Erik faced them all and took a deep breath.

"I think we all need to talk. For the sake of the band," he said. Jacob immediately got into a defensive position, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know this mostly involves me and Jake, but we all need to be here because we are a group and we have to work as a group to set things straight."

"Why don’t we all have our say, then?" Trevor asked. The guys nodded. Jacob looked at the floor. Trevor looked at Jacob. "I sympathize with your situation, Jake. But, you’re letting everything get to you and you’re taking it out on us and on Maria. It isn’t right. I love Maria like, well, like a best friend. Yet, you saw us together messing around and you immediately jumped to conclusions that we were ‘fooling’ around behind your back or something. I don’t feel that way about her anymore, man. Yeah, I think she’s beautiful and all, but she loves you. She’s carrying your baby, dude! You only made things worse for you when you, once again, accused her of fooling around with me. I don’t think she should’ve left, but if you’re more comfortable without her around, then so be it. She’s probably hurting a lot right now, though, and I hope you haven’t blown it with her because women like Maria don’t come around too often." Jacob swallowed hard, but didn’t respond. Ashley was next.

"You already know that I support you and Maria and I don’t blame her for being upset by having to leave, but your concentration where the band is concerned has been off and it’s, like, affecting our shows. I can’t say that I know what you’re going through because, dude, I’d be, like, freaking out if I were in your situation, but for the good of the band, I think it’s better that she’s not here. We aren’t tight, we aren’t acting like a ‘band.’ We need to be concentrating right now on the group. I love Maria, don’t get me wrong, but perhaps some distance is necessary for you guys right now and you can talk after the tour when there’s less stress." Jacob nodded and looked at Dan.

"Man, I’m all about the group. I’m not saying that you should push Maria totally to the side, but we’ve got to write. If our second album tanks, we’re done. We’ve only had one real hit so far. We need to put some good stuff on the second album if we want to continue in this business. If not, we fail, everyone says ‘I told you so’ and we go our separate ways. O-Town will then be forever known as a ‘one hit wonder band.’ I don’t want that and I know you don’t either. We’ve been through too much together to just let it go like that. We have to work together. Like Ash said, we have to be tight and we have to be a band." Jacob looked at the floor again.

"I already know how you feel so don’t bother," he said to Erik. "You know, Erik, I respect your opinion and the way that you feel about what I did, but don’t you feel a little hypocritical? I mean, you didn’t exactly think about the band the night you went after Alex and got yourself shot now, did you?" Erik looked down. Jacob had a point. Realizing that Erik wasn’t going to say anything, Jacob looked at the rest of the guys. "I apologize for my lack of concentration and focus lately. There are so many things going through my head that I don’t know what to do first. I was given a choice." He looked pointedly at Erik, who looked away. "I was told to choose between the group, which is my career and my dream and Maria, the love of my life who is having my baby. How do you choose between the two?" Jacob shook his head. "I don’t know how, but I did it. I chose you guys. And in the process, I hurt Maria, which in turn hurt me. She probably hates me now, but the group is going to be successful and we’ll make lots of records and have tons of girls throwing themselves at us, so it doesn’t matter, right?"

"Jake, that’s not true. Maria will understand," Dan told him. "She loves you."

"And you love her," Erik said. Jacob turned to him.

"Was it love that made me put her on a plane and send her home like unwanted baggage?" he yelled. "She’s carrying my baby for crying out loud and I treated her like shit! Do you know how that feels?" Jacob was close to tears, but he blinked them away. "What I did to her was inexcusable and I hate myself because of it! But everyone else seems to know what’s right for me except me! Now that I’m concentrating, though, everything’s fine, right? Well, it’s not fine with me!" Jacob stopped and took a deep breath. "I will stay with you guys and I will perform my best and I’ll write, attend personal appearances and do all of the other shit that goes with being in O-Town, but I will not do it happily until I talk to Maria and make her see that I love her more than my own life. She would never have asked me to choose between her and the group---even if I was stressed to the breaking point. Yes, she may be pissed because I didn’t put her first like I said I would, but you know what? That’s because she should come first. We created a life together. You can’t get closer to someone than that. She cares about how I feel. I love you guys, but right now I can’t stand being in the same room as any one of you!" Jacob could feel the tears running down his face and he quickly turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Trevor wiped tears from his own eyes. Erik turned toward the window. Ashley looked at his hands and Dan sat back on the bed, closing his eyes tightly.

"This is a mess, Erik!" Trevor yelled. Erik turned to him.

"It would be worse if Maria was still here. Believe me," he said.

"How?" Ashley asked, laughing bitterly. "Jake feels guilty for making the decision to send her away! You made him choose. You went to Jacob without even asking us first how we felt and you made him choose. How could you do that?"

"Because I’m thinking about the band, Ash!" Erik said, loudly. "Look, you guys, I know that having personal lives is hard, and I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have personal lives, but Jacob is getting too caught up in his right now. He’s forgetting about the band. This time away from Maria will be good for him. Trust me, it will." Erik left the room. The three remaining members of the band looked at each other.

"He does have a point," Dan said. "I support Jake and Maria, but Jake’s gotta get his head back on the band." Trevor and Ashley nodded. It was them against Maria in a tug-of-war for Jacob’s attention. Who would win remained to be seen.

Erik walked to Alex and Kristi’s room and knocked on the door. Kristi opened it.

"Is Alex here?" Erik asked. Kristi nodded and let Erik into the room. He saw Alex sitting on her bed. She looked up at him and frowned.

"What do you want?" she asked, irritably.

"Jacob might need you right now," he said. Alex sighed.

"What did you do to him now?" she asked. Erik refused to fight with her.

"Just please see that he’s okay," he said, leaving the room. Alex rolled her eyes and stood up. She then headed for Jacob’s room. There was a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door, but Alex knocked anyway.

"Jacob? It’s Alex, can I come in?" she asked loudly. No answer. "Jacob, come on, I’m on your side. Open up." She heard footsteps and the door opened. Alex pushed it open so that she could walk in. Jacob went to his bed and lay down with his arm over his face. "What happened?" Alex asked, sitting on the bed beside him.

"They all had their say. I listened and then I had my say. It didn’t go well," Jacob said. Alex rubbed his arm.

"It must be hard for you," she said, sympathetically. "You know, I’ve been thinking about it and I think that Maria’s being selfish." Jacob looked at her, surprised.

"How?" he asked.

"She’s all wanting your attention when she knows that what you do doesn’t allow for you to give her that kind of attention. It’s not fair to you. But, the guys aren’t being fair, either, by making you choose between them and Maria. You’re being pulled in two different directions and it must be killing you." Jacob sat up.

"What can I do that won’t make the guys or Maria mad at me?" he asked. Alex thought for a minute.

"Maria’s only two months, almost three months pregnant, right?" Jacob nodded. "She doesn’t need you all the time yet. She can handle it. Like I said, she’s being selfish, but I think that’s just because she loves you so much and she doesn’t want to be away from you, especially because she’s having your baby. Man, I never thought that Maria would be so hooked on anyone." Jacob smiled.

"That’s good to hear, seeing as how I think she probably hates me right about now," he said.

"No, she doesn’t. She was just put off that you asked her to leave. Don’t worry about Maria. She’s probably thought about it and understands where you were coming from by now," Alex told him.

"What about the group?" Jacob asked her.

"Erik was wrong to give you an ultimatum, but in the end, I think it will turn out to be a good thing. You chose the band, so that shows them that your heart is still with them. Now, what you have to do is concentrate like you have been doing for the rest of the tour, kick ass during your upcoming performances and show them that you still love what you’re doing. Forget about Maria for a while. We’ll be going home in less than a week. You’ll see her then." Jacob leaned forward and hugged Alex, who held him tightly. "Everything will work out, Jake. Don’t be stressed about it, okay?" Jacob let her go.

"You’re right. I just needed to hear it, I guess," he said. Alex smiled and looked away, a sad expression suddenly coming over her face.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

"I feel good right now, but then I think about Carlos and…" she didn’t finish as Jacob hugged her again. Alex cried on his shoulder.

"We’re both pretty messed in the head right now, huh?" he asked softly. Alex managed to laugh through her tears.