Chapter 29

"Okay Erik. What was it you needed to say to me that you didn’t want the girls to hear?" Jacob questioned, folding his arms across his chest. Erik took a few steps away from him, and then turned around, an unhappy look on his face.

"I know you love her and feel responsible for the baby, Jake. You should. But…I’m sorry, but I gotta say this. It bothers me that you admit you would put Maria ahead of the band," he said flatly. "Our heads have to be totally focused on the group and producing material for the second album right now. Our careers are at stake here, man. We can’t afford to look less than perfect on stage…we can’t afford to devote our free time, what little there is of it, to anything but writing. You’re losing your concentration and you haven’t been writing much. That’s what scares me."

"What the hell do you want me to do, Erik?" Jacob shouted at him, wincing inside at the truth he heard in Erik’s accusations. His voice carried across the park, causing the girls to turn their heads. "I can’t ignore Maria completely! I won’t ignore her! I know what’s at stake here! Don’t you think I know? I’m trying to find a way to please everybody and it seems nobody’s happy. You’re pissed at me, the Mikes are pissed at me, Maria’s clearly not happy. What do you want me to do? Oh, and as for being perfect on stage, who’s the one who always seems to have problems staying on key? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not me, Dan, Ashley or Trevor."

Erik advanced on him, shoving a finger into his chest. " I refuse to get into a fight over that right now. This isn’t about that. No, what you have to do is make a choice! This can’t go on. We need a total commitment from you and we’re not getting it. What’s it gonna be dude? The band or Maria?"

Jacob stood there, an anguished look on his face. The fight seemed to have gone out of him. "Do the rest of the guys feel this way too?" he asked quietly. Hearing the shouting, the girls and Mike had begun to head back towards them, worried looks on their faces.

"I think they do but they don’t have the guts to confront you with it," Erik replied, less heatedly, starting to feel a little ashamed of the way he had cornered his band mate. ‘It had to be said though,’ he thought to himself. ‘A decision has to be made.’

"I can’t deal with this right now," Jacob muttered, shaking his head. "I have to leave." He turned and began walking off quickly in the direction of the hotel, his hands shoved into his pockets. ‘That’s what you do best,’ Erik thought, shaking his head.

"Jacob, wait!" Maria called out to him, as she stopped beside Erik. Jacob ignored her and kept walking. Maria turned on Erik, her eyes flashing with anger. Mike ran after Jacob.

"What the hell did you say to him?" she asked, furiously, grabbing Erik by the shoulders. Erik winced at the pressure on his wound. He shrugged out of her grasp and glanced at Alex, who stood with her hands on her hips, looking ready to murder him.

"Look, I just did what I thought was best for the band, all right? His mind’s not in the game and it has to be. We don’t have a choice here. I think he has to decide what’s more important to him," Erik defended himself. Maria made a sound of disgust and started walking after Jacob and Mike.

"Oh that’s great Erik," Alex spat at him. "What a wonderful friend you are. You’re making him choose between the band and Maria aren’t you? How could you?" She gave him a long, withering stare before turning her back on him and heading in the direction of the hotel.

"I only did what I thought was right…for all of us," Erik whispered, staring at Alex’s retreating form. With his head down, he slowly began to walk after Alex.

February 14^th

Orlando

It was Sarah’s 19^th birthday, so Emily and Kathleen decided to take her out to Planet Hollywood. Kevin and, unfortunately, Geoff, came along, too.

"It’s weird not having any of my immediate family here, like Maria, Joey or Dad," Sarah remarked, looking around.

"I’m sure Maria will throw a party for you when she gets back," Kathleen told her.

"That would be cool." Sarah smiled. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue started to play and Sarah smiled.

"Would you like to dance?" Geoff asked her. Sarah wanted to dance, but not with him. He was the only one asking, though.

"I guess," she said, standing up. Geoff stood up, too, and they went to dance. Emily frowned.

"There’s something about him that I don’t like," she said.

"He’s harmless. He’s a jerk, but he’s harmless," Kathleen remarked. Emily watched as Geoff and Sarah danced. She didn’t think he was as ‘harmless’ as Kathleen said he was.

"So, what’s Maria gonna do about the kid?" Geoff asked Sarah.

"I refuse to discuss my sister with you," she told him. Geoff nodded and put his arms around Sarah’s waist. She backed off.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. You’re just getting a little too close," Sarah answered.

"You know, you’re just as pretty as Maria. I don’t know why everyone pays so much attention to her," Geoff said. Sarah frowned.

"You were with her. Why did you pay attention to her?" Geoff smiled.

"She’s beautiful and smart. And she has other talents that I shouldn’t really talk about with you." Sarah stopped dancing. Geoff tightened his hold on her. "Do you have similar talents?" he asked. Sarah struggled to get out of his grasp.

"Let go!" she demanded. Geoff leaned in close to her ear.

"I like how feisty you are. You’re more like Maria than you think," he said softly.

"Let her go, man." Geoff frowned and turned around.

"This is none of your business, pal," he said to the young man. Kevin and Kathleen then approached them.

"Geoff, what the hell are you doing?" Kevin asked, exasperated. Geoff let go of Sarah and stalked off toward the bar. Kevin sighed as he followed him. Kathleen shook her head and headed back to their table.

Sarah looked at the man who had tried to help her. He was definitely Puerto Rican. He was really cute, too. "Thanks," she said.

"No problem. Sometimes guys don’t know the word ‘no’ when they hear it," he said and gave her a slight smile. "What’s your name?"

"Sarah."

"Hi, Sarah. I’m Miguel." Sarah smiled as she shook his hand. "Can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

"How about a soda?" she said. He smiled at her.

"Sure. Come on," he said as he led her over to the bar. "You know, you look like someone I know," he remarked after he’d ordered two Cokes.

"Who? A model, I hope," Sarah said, still smiling.

"She could be," Miguel told her. "She’s a friend of my sister’s."

"Oh. Is she pretty?" Sarah asked.

"She’s beautiful." The bartender put their sodas down in front of them. Miguel smiled at Sarah, who smiled back. This was turning out to be a good birthday after all.

February 16^th

Cologne, Germany

After the double date, things continued to go downhill fast. Jacob was becoming more and more stressed out. He hadn’t talked to Erik and whatever Erik had said to him, he hadn’t bothered to share with Maria, whom he was neglecting more and more each day. Everything seemed to bother him. It was beginning to be apparent during their shows, too. After that night’s show, Jacob angrily knocked over a microphone stand, almost hitting Trevor. No one knew what to do. Before the show, the group had done a live web chat. Jacob had hardly ‘said’ anything during the chat. Whenever a question had come up about Maria, he had either ignored it or angrily refused to answer it, saying that his private life was private and he didn’t want to discuss it.

Maria found herself hanging out more with Trevor. She didn’t want to make Jacob angrier or more stressed out, so she kept her distance. Jacob usually retreated to the back of the bus to write or to be alone. Maria gave him that time, knowing that he needed it. The tension was beginning to get on the other guys’ nerves as well. They, too, left Jacob alone, but it was getting harder and harder to stay positive with him in such a bad mood all the time. They were also tired of covering for him during interviews when he wouldn’t fully participate. It was obvious that he was having trouble focusing on what the group was doing.

That night, the Mikes called Jacob to the front of the bus where they were sitting. Jacob went reluctantly, knowing what they wanted to discuss with him.

"Jacob, we need to talk to you," Mike M. said as Jacob sat down across from them. Jacob just looked at the floor. "We know that it’s been a stressful tour for you with all of the publicity and everything surrounding Maria, but it’s starting to affect your performances. Unless something is done, it’s only gonna get worse."

"What can I do?" Jacob asked.

"I think it’d be best if Maria were to fly home tomorrow," Mike M. said. Jacob frowned.

"Jake, it’s not that we don’t want her here, it’s just that she’s a distraction. The press wouldn’t be on you all the time if she weren’t here," Mike C. told him. "And you’d be able to concentrate more on the band."

"I don’t know what to do. Part of me thinks that she should go, but another part of me wants her here. But, the press is getting to her, too. She can’t be stressed out---especially in her condition," Jacob said.

"Talk to her and explain your situation to her. I’m sure she’ll understand," Mike M. said. Jacob sighed and leaned back against the seat. He didn’t think she would. He stood up and walked back to the sleeping area where he disappeared into his bunk. Jacob had done nothing but think about what Erik had said to him since that day. And Jacob knew that he had a choice to make: O-Town or Maria. Why couldn’t he have both, though? Because it was too distracting, he answered himself honestly. He wasn’t focused, he wasn’t doing his best, his heart wasn’t with the band---it was with Maria. He knew what he had to do, but it was going to kill him to do it.

Kristi sat at the back of the bus with Maria and Trevor. Kristi noticed that they seemed to have a flirty-type relationship. They seemed comfortable together, but at times, Kristi got the feeling that Trevor liked Maria as more than just a friend.

"What’s that?" Trevor asked, looking at Maria’s sketchpad.

"It’s Buckingham Palace. I found a book with a picture of it and since I wasn’t able to visit it when I was there, I decided to draw it," she answered.

"Girl, you are an amazing artist," he said, studying the picture.

"I know." Maria smirked and laughed.

"You’re very full of yourself, too," Trevor said and started to tickle her. Kristi frowned as Maria laughed, hitting Trevor with her sketchpad to get him to stop.

"Stop it!" she yelled. Kristi got up and left them alone. She was feeling…jealous? She walked into the sleeping area and looked up at Dan.

"Where’s Jacob?" she asked. Dan pointed at the bottom bunk.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, I just thought he’d want to know that his girlfriend and Trevor are having a great time at the back of the bus," Kristi said before she continued walking. Ashley leaned out of his bunk to look at Dan. They both looked down to see Jacob rolling out of his bunk.

"Jake, they’re just friends," Ashley said. Jacob didn’t say anything as he walked into the back of the bus. Ashley and Dan followed him.

Trevor had Maria pinned down on the seat and was still tickling her when Jacob walked in. Trevor quickly got off of Maria, who continued to smile. Jacob looked at her, a furious look on his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked, softly.

"We’re just fooling around," Maria answered. "Why? What’s wrong?"

"Nothing’s going on. We’re just playing around," Trevor told Jacob, nervously.

"I need to speak to Maria---alone," Jacob stated, never taking his eyes from her. Trevor nodded and left, passing Ashley and Dan, who were standing at the door. Jacob turned and closed the door in their faces.

Maria frowned as she sat up and fixed her messy hair. "What’s the matter?" she asked.

"What are you doing? Do you think that I’m ignoring you, so you go to Trevor for attention?" he asked.

"Well, you have been ignoring me, but I didn’t ‘go’ to Trevor. He’s my friend and we’ve just been hanging out. You’re supposed to be having fun on this tour and you’re like a grouchy old man," she told him.

"I have reason to be. The press won’t leave me the hell alone, our shows haven’t been that good. If Erik finds the right key, it’s a miracle. And you’ve been avoiding me. Why shouldn’t I be in a bad mood?" Maria stood up.

"You’re taking all of that out on me and it isn’t fair! The press is bugging me, too. Why do you think I haven’t gone to your last four shows? I’m stuck in this Godforsaken bus day in and day out. It sucks, but I’m willing to deal with it for you! And you’re the one who’s avoiding me!" she exclaimed, her voice rising. "I came on this tour because I thought that you’d be too worried if I wasn’t with you. I thought that you wanted me here, but I guess not! I’m nothing more than your ‘pregnant girlfriend.’ The ‘scandal that’s rocking O-Town.’ Well, you know what? We have to deal with it." She thought for a minute. "Whatever Erik said to you, just forget it, okay? He has no right to force you to make any kind of decision regarding me and the band."

"Yes, he does. He knows that I haven’t been focused and I haven’t. I’ve been too worried about you. I need to focus on the band and I can’t do that with you here," Jacob said, softly. Maria sat down.

"You want me to go?" she asked, confused and a little hurt.

"I think it might be better if you go home tomorrow," he told her, unable to meet her eyes. Maria looked up at him, the fury evident in her face.

"Is it you who wants me to go…or the Mikes?" Jacob ran a hand through his hair.

"Both," he said. Maria sighed heavily.

"This is bullshit," she said in an almost whisper. She stood up and pointed angrily at Jacob. "You said that I would always come first with you. Well, it looks to me like you’re pushing me aside right now and putting the band first!"

"That’s not what I’m doing. I just think that things would be better if you weren’t around right now. There would be less tension within the group. The press is getting to them, too."

"I’m sorry if I’m such a goddamn embarrassment!" Maria yelled. "You did this, too, Jacob. You’re not the perfect person you think you are. You made a mistake and now you’re upset about it!" Maria shook her head and began pacing back and forth in the small space. "I should’ve seen it coming, but you were so optimistic about everything. About how we would make it work and how we’d do it together. That was all a lie, wasn’t it? You’re scared and now you’re trying to get rid of me!" Maria stopped pacing and looked at him. "Do you still love me?" Jacob frowned.

"Of course I do. And I never lied to you. I think we can do it, but for this tour, I think it’d be better if you were home," he said.

"That’s not dealing with it, though, Jacob! That’s making the problem disappear. That’s what I am right now---a problem, and that hurts!" Maria shouted.

"No, Maria, you don’t understand. I love you and I want you with me, but I can’t…"

"You can’t what? Stand having me around? You can’t stand that the press is seeing you for your ‘imperfect’ self? Are you blaming me for your bad shows, too? How am I interfering with that?"

"No, my bad shows are all me, and Erik to a degree, but listen, if you go home, then I’ll be able to figure out how to handle the press better."

"You can’t do that with me here?" Maria said. She laughed bitterly. "You’re just trying to come up with reasons for shipping me home right now." Jacob stepped forward, but Maria backed away. "No, don’t touch me. You’ve wanted nothing to do with me for at least a week now. Fine, you know what? I’ll go. What happens when you get home, though? Will you wait until I have the baby and then come to me for sex? That’s all you want, right?"

"Don’t even say that." Jacob shook his head, sadly. "You know that’s not true."

"It was okay to be sleeping with me, but now that I’m pregnant, it’s not as much fun, is it? You can’t pretend that it didn’t happen, Jacob. I’m pregnant, whether you like it or not."

"Not," Jacob muttered. Maria looked sharply at him. Jacob looked right back. "There, I said it. I am not happy that you’re pregnant. I’m going to love the baby, but Maria, I have to be honest with you, I don’t see myself as a father. I’m not ready to be a father." Uncertainty flashed in his blue eyes.

"Well you better get ready because in seven months you’re going to be one!" Maria shouted. She pushed past Jacob and slammed the door behind her. Jacob sat down and covered his face with his hands. He heard the door open and someone sat down beside him. Looking up, his eyes met Dan’s.

"Is there anything I can do?" Dan asked. He had seen Maria come charging out of the back of the bus, a furious look on her face.

"No, Dan. There’s nothing anyone can do," Jacob said, leaning back against the seat and sighing.

February 22^nd

Munich

"It’s been arranged," Ashley said, smiling.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, excitedly.

"Yes. You are coming to Monaco to see the World Music Awards and you’ll stay with us until we go home on March 10^th."

"That’s…I don’t know what it is…awesome, I guess would be the word. Are you sure it’s okay? I don’t want to be in the way or anything." Ashley sighed.

"You won’t be. I want you here. I miss you," he said, softly.

"Okay. As long as it’s all right. I can’t wait," Emily said, happily. "Where are you now?"

"We’re in Munich. We’re staying in the Arabella Sheraton Hotel. It’s pretty nice," he said, looking around his room.

"How’s everyone doing?" Emily asked.

"Um, well, not good. Our shows have been okay and our promotional appearances have gone pretty well, but, uh, Maria and Jacob are barely talking to one another. Jacob and Erik aren’t talking to each other, but they’re, like, performing perfectly together and Alex is mad at Erik for some reason."

"Wow. What happened?" Emily asked, worriedly.

"No one really knows. Jacob just lost it about a week ago. I think Maria’s made plans to go home when we go to Amsterdam tomorrow."

"Will they be okay?" Emily then asked.

"I don’t know," Ashley answered. It was the truth. Jacob and Maria had had some kind of major fight and were pretty much ignoring each other. It killed Ashley to see the stricken look on Jacob’s face whenever he looked at Maria. But, he didn’t want to butt into Jacob’s business. Maria had been hanging around Trevor, which was making Kristi jealous. Ashley wanted to say something to Trevor, but he didn’t want to start more trouble---they had enough of it already.

After the show that night, everyone had gone to their respective rooms. Maria had gotten her own room, while Kristi shared with Alex. The guys also had their own rooms.

The show had gone well. The guys were excellent performers and knew how to entertain their fans as if nothing was going on ‘behind the scenes.’

After a nice, hot shower, Maria went and lay down on her bed. She didn’t feel like doing anything. She pulled the towel she was wearing tighter around her body. She wanted to cry, but she didn’t want to shed any tears for Jacob, who was being totally irrational. ‘Yeah, he’ll put me first all right.’ His career came first. Maria had known that and still she had been stupid enough to believe him when he had told her that she would come first. Erik had cornered Jacob, he had told him to decide between the band and her and he had chosen the band. ‘He chose the band over me and his child.’ He certainly wouldn’t win any ‘father of the year’ contests, she concluded sadly.

A knock at the door brought Maria out of her thoughts. She looked down at her towel-clad body and shrugging, walked to the door. "Yes?" she called.

"It’s me." Maria sighed. What did Jacob want now? Maria didn’t feel like fighting.

"What do you want?"

"Please open the door," he said. Maria did so and Jacob walked quickly past her. He turned and was taken aback by her attire---or lack thereof. "You’ll catch cold walking around like that," he said.

"Like you care," she muttered.

"You have to take care of yourself," Jacob insisted.

"Jacob, why are you here?" Maria asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Jacob just looked at her. He loved her. He had pushed her away. She was leaving tomorrow. Everything was so out of control right now, but he needed her---he wanted her.

Maria watched Jacob watching her. She knew that look---all too well. Before she knew what was happening, Jacob had her pinned up against the wall and was kissing the breath out of her. She fought him at first, but as his mouth took over hers, she melted against him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

When Jacob heard Maria moan, he knew that he had her. He pulled her over to the bed, his mouth never leaving hers. He sat down on the bed and pulled Maria on top of him, his hands moving to the towel, pulling it from her body. Jacob turned over and began kissing her all over, starting at her neck and slowly moving down. Maria closed her eyes as Jacob made her body come alive like only he could.

Jacob quickly shed his clothing and covered Maria’s body with his own. He caressed her and kissed her until she was begging for him to make love to her. Too turned on to wait any longer, Jacob entered Maria roughly, eliciting a cry from her. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he needed this, he needed her. She was his.

Maria was lost in feeling. Jacob was claiming her body as his---and she was letting him. Jacob watched Maria’s face as he continued to love her. She had a mixed look of pleasure and pain on her face. Maria’s eyes opened and she looked into his desperate, blue eyes. He felt himself getting close. Maria sensed this, so she tightened her hold on him. Jacob cried out when the pleasure took over his body. Maria bit her lip as she, too, went over the edge. Jacob stayed propped on his arms above her, breathing heavily, still joined to her. After a minute, he rolled over and lay beside her.

"I didn’t hurt you, did I?" he asked softly. Maria shook her head.

"I would never allow you to hurt me," she told him, stiffly.

There was nothing left to say. Maria pulled the covers over them, reached over and turned off the light. As she listened to Jacob’s breathing become slow and steady, she felt a tear slide down her cheek.

The next morning, Jacob woke up alone. Maria and all of her things were gone.

*AN: I first off want to say that I finally saw O-Town perform live on Friday night! So, blame them for this chapter not being up yesterday. They rock live! It was an awesome concert and they did a great job. Jacob actually did knock over a microphone stand after his Led Zeppelin solo. You gotta love the ‘rock star.’ Okay, I know I’m doing this every chapter now, but I must thank Susan. You know, writer’s block sucks. She helped with the Jacob/Erik confrontation during the double date. She actually wrote a lot of that, so for that, I owe her! Also, thanks to Laura, my overseas expert, for the tour info. Like I know all of those names of the places they performed at in Germany. Lol!

Until the next chapter,

~Maura