Chapter 18
Mike M. had found out about what was going on and he had informed Dan, Ashley and Trevor about Alex. They couldn’t believe it.
"No wonder Erik was so out of it at practice," Trevor remarked as they sat on the sectional couch. The TV was on, but they weren’t watching it.
"That call must’ve been about Alex," Ashley guessed. "I hope she’s okay." They heard the door open and turned to see Erik, Jacob, Maria and Mike enter the house. Maria didn’t even look at anyone as she walked quickly out toward the guesthouse. Erik and Jacob walked into the room where the guys were sitting. Mike went in the other direction. The camera was filming, but the guys ignored it.
"How is she?" Dan asked, worry lines creasing his forehead. Erik sat down and put his head in his hands. Jacob shrugged.
"Not good. Only family can see her right now. An intern promised to keep Maria updated on Alex’s condition," he told them.
"She’ll be okay, Erik. Alex is tough," Ashley said, not really knowing what to say. Erik sat back on the couch. He was tired and mentally exhausted, not to mention extremely worried.
"Thanks, man. I’m lucky to have you guys here," he said.
"How’s Maria?" Trevor asked. Jacob looked out toward the guesthouse.
"Worried," he said. "And I’m worried about her. After what happened last month, it’s too soon for her to be going through shit like this again…she’s still not over that yet."
They suddenly heard loud music coming from the guesthouse. The song they heard blaring was Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down. Jacob and Trevor ran out of the house.
"I never realized how powerful your stereo really is!" Trevor shouted as he followed Jacob up the stairs to the guesthouse. Jacob pushed open the door and saw Maria lying facedown on his bed. The music was incredibly loud. Trevor ran over to lower it down. Maria turned to look at them and Jacob saw tears on her face.
"I want to be alone," she said. "Please. I just want to be by myself right now." Jacob sighed, but nodded. He pulled Trevor with him as they left the room. Jacob walked into the studio and sat down on a stool, pulling a guitar onto his lap. Trevor frowned.
"Dude, you can’t just leave her like that," he said.
"She wants to be alone and I’m respecting that," Jacob told him.
"But she needs you. How can you just…?"
"Trevor, I said that I’m respecting her wishes to be alone. She’ll talk to me when she’s ready," Jacob said, annoyance in his voice. He lightly strummed the guitar.
"I thought that you cared about her," Trevor said. Jacob looked at him.
"I do. I’m in love with her," he told him.
"Then why are you leaving her grief-stricken and crying in your room?" Trevor asked. Jacob was trying very hard to stay calm.
"I’m going to say this once more: I’m respecting her wishes to be alone. She won’t respond if I force her to talk to me. I know her a lot better than you, Trevor, so drop it," he said. "You have to back off, dude." Trevor frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I know you like Maria, but she’s with me. I love you like a brother and I understand why you like Maria, but this crush you’ve got has got to stop," Jacob told him. Trevor stared at Jacob, a frown on his face.
"Jake. I would never do something like try to steal your girlfriend. I know how I’d feel if you or any of the guys did that to me and I just, I wouldn’t do that," he said. Jacob looked up from his guitar.
"Then why did you almost ask Maria out?" he asked. Trevor was shocked. He hadn’t known that Maria was that aware of his feelings for her. Trevor turned away from Jacob.
"I, uh, I, I don’t really have an answer…or an excuse other than I like her. I know she’s with you and I’m trying to accept that. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me right now, but I meant no disrespect. You’re just so lucky, dude. Maria’s awesome and I’m glad you guys are together. I would never have done anything to ruin what the two of you have. You’ve got to believe me," Trevor said, looking at the floor. Jacob closed his eyes for a minute. When he reopened them, Trevor was gone.
"You’ll find someone, Trev. You’re too nice a guy to not find someone," Jacob said to the empty studio before returning his attention to his guitar.
Later that evening, Jacob went to check on Erik. He found him in his room. Erik was lying on his bed with his eyes opened, worry still reflected in them. It was late enough so that the cameras were gone. Jacob knocked and entered the room.
"Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay," he said. Erik sat up.
"I wish that I could’ve seen her," he said. Jacob sat down next to him.
"You’ll get a chance, once she feels better," he said. Erik nodded.
"Alex must’ve been so scared, Jake. What kind of a brother would put his sister in danger that way? It must’ve had something to do with him, right? I mean the guy just gets out of jail and this happens? It doesn’t sound coincidental to me."
"I think you’re right, but don’t worry about that shit now. Worry about Alex and her recovery," Jacob told him. "You can’t go accusing anyone of anything. It will only get you into trouble."
"Man, we have our tour coming up. Rehearsals are getting longer and more intense…how am I supposed to concentrate?" Erik asked, lying back down. Jacob hit him on the leg.
"You’ll manage. Alex has a lot of people pulling for her and she’ll have plenty of support while she’s getting better," he said.
"You seem confident that she will get better," Erik told him. Jacob smiled.
"Stay positive, Erik. She’ll be fine," Jacob said and stood up. "Now, Maria, I’m not so sure about." Erik frowned.
"Why?" Jacob shrugged.
"She’s been through so much. She’s not over last month’s crap yet and here she is dealing with this. I hope that she can handle it."
"She’s strong. She can handle it," Erik told him. Jacob sighed.
"She pretends to be stronger then she is, but I’ll do the best I can to help her," he said. Erik smiled.
"You love her," he said. Jacob nodded. He waved and left Erik’s room. Erik closed his eyes and prayed that Alex would recover quickly.
Jacob returned to his room. Maria had changed into a long sleeved nightshirt. She sat on the bed looking through a binder of black and white photos. Jacob sat down beside her.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Looking through some pictures that I took. You know, I always thought that photography was my life. I wanted it to be. Seeing something through a viewfinder and setting up the perfect shot was, like, heaven to me. There was nothing I’d rather be doing," Maria said.
"What’s changed?" Jacob asked. Maria looked at him.
"Life. I think I’m realizing that there are more important things in life than pictures and a career. Life affects art. Here, check these out. I know exactly when I took them. Tell me how they’re different." Maria handed Jacob two photos. One was of a little girl on a swing, laughing happily as she rose high in the air. The other was of a gravestone. It was kind of fuzzy, but Jacob could make out the marking, which read: "Louise Marie Larson." Jacob studied them closely.
"This one is out of focus," he said, indicating the grave marker picture. Maria nodded.
"That’s my grandmother’s gravestone. I was upset when I took the picture. When I took the picture of the little girl, I was happy. So, you see, my mood affected these photos. How can I do a good job if I feel so depressed all the time?" she asked him.
"I think that it adds character to your photos. I mean you can tell how you were feeling when you took the picture. That’s part of being an artist: putting emotion into your work. When I write a song, the lyrics usually depict the mood that I’m in at the time I sit down to write. I’m not gonna write a happy song if I feel like shit. When I broke up with Janie, I didn’t go and write a feel-good song," Jacob told her. Maria put the pictures away and closed the binder. She looked at Jacob.
"I know that you’re right, but the way that I’m feeling right now, it’s like, I have no desire to take pictures or draw, which scares me because photography and art in general have always been my passion." Jacob took her hand and looked at her.
"Don’t be scared. With everything that you’ve been through, a break is what you need. It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your passion for your work. It’ll be back stronger than ever when you’re feeling better about things. You need to relax right now. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself to be strong for everyone else. Take some time for you," he told her. Maria nodded as tears welled up in her eyes.
"I’m not gonna cry," she said, blinking the tears away. Jacob smiled.
"Why don’t you get some sleep? I’m sure Alex will be okay," he said. Maria pulled him toward her.
"You’re too damn good for me," she said.
"I know." Jacob kissed her lightly on the lips. Maria lay down and got comfortable. Jacob ‘tucked’ her in. He kissed her forehead. "Goodnight," he whispered.
"Goodnight," Maria said softly. Jacob turned off the light and left the room. Maria sighed. Jacob was right, there was only so much that she could take. She had to slow down. Alex would be fine. She just had to believe that Alex would be fine.
Monday, October 22nd
A lot had happened in a week. Maria had returned to her loft. Her mother left Orlando the day after Alex had been attacked. She hadn’t even said ‘goodbye’ to Maria, who could care less. She had more important things to worry about than her psycho mother. Maria’s father had called and told her that the baby was slowly improving, but was still having trouble breathing. Apparently, his lungs hadn’t developed fully before he was born, which was causing the problems. Maria wanted to go see the baby, but she also wanted to be with Alex. Besides, she was afraid to fly right now. As for Alex, she was in a semi-coma. The wound had been worse than the doctor had originally thought and the knife had punctured Alex’s lung. A breathing tube had been inserted to help Alex breathe and the only thing anyone could do was wait until she woke up. Maria had kept in touch with Dr. Williams, who said that Maria could call her ‘Kristi.’ Kristi had been keeping Maria up-to-date on Alex’s condition. Carlos had been discharged a couple of days after the attack, but he wasn’t talking, which was angering his family and the cops.
The party plans had been given to Maria, Susan and, much to Maria’s displeasure, Jocelyn. Maria had mostly been working with Susan while Jocelyn was communicating with Maria through Susan, who wasn’t thrilled being the go-between between them. Maria just hoped that Alex would at least be awake by Saturday, the day of the party.
Maria had barely seen Jacob. The guys’ rehearsals had been intense and very long; sometimes going from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Maria had talked to Erik more than she had talked to Jacob lately. She kept Erik updated on Alex’s condition. Kristi promised that she would try to get permission for Maria and Erik to see Alex soon.
Now, Maria was in the lab developing a couple of photos for a photo shoot that Kyle had been nice enough to assign to her. She was slowly starting to enjoy her work again. Jacob had been right: the passion for photography was too strong in her for her to not want to do it. Maria finally felt like something in her life was getting back to normal.
"You’re here early," Susan remarked as she entered the lab.
"I like to get here before her," Maria told her. Susan shook her head.
"Jocelyn’s not that bad. Why don’t you at least try working with her." Maria frowned.
"Because," she said. Susan sighed.
"You’re too damn stubborn," she scolded. Maria smiled.
"I know I am. I’m going into the dark room now. See you later," she said as she disappeared into the darkroom. Susan shook her head and started to leave the room when Jacob suddenly came into the lab.
"Jacob! Long time, no see," Susan said with a smile. "Ready for the tour?"
"The guys are more excited about the party right now," he told her.
"That’s good but planning it with Maria and Jocelyn has given me some gray hairs that I didn’t have before," she said. Jacob laughed. "Maria is in the darkroom," Susan told him, smiling. Jacob nodded.
"I can’t go in there, right?" he asked.
"Not until the film is securely in a container. Just be sure to knock," Susan told him before she left the room. Jacob walked over to the door and knocked.
"Susan, wait a minute. I’m almost done," Maria’s voice called.
"It’s me," Jacob called back.
"Jacob? What the hell are you doing here?"
"It’s nice to see you, too," he said. "Can I come in?"
"Wait a minute. You’ll expose my film and that would be bad," Maria said. Jacob waited for a minute. "Okay, come in." Jacob opened the door and walked into the small room. He smiled and shut the door quickly behind him. It was pitch black. ‘Darkroom’ was an understatement. There was absolutely no light whatsoever in that room. Jacob couldn’t see his hand in front of his face. "You could’ve left the door opened," Maria’s voice said to him. Jacob reached out and felt his hand touch her, her, her…something.
"What is that?" he asked.
"My arm," she replied. Jacob slid his hand down her arm until he had an idea of how she was standing.
"Turn around," he said. He heard her move, but wasn’t sure if she was facing him or not. He reached up blindly and his hand connected with her face.
"You’re punching me now?" she asked. Jacob laughed. He slid his hands down her arms and felt her own arms wrap around him.
"It’s so weird not being able to see you," he said. Maria’s breath was suddenly on his lips.
"This isn’t what the darkroom is supposed to be used for," she said, kissing him softly. "You are Jacob, right?" He laughed.
"Nope. I’m actually Ashley having a bad hair day." Maria felt his head. All curls and dreads. It was, indeed, Jacob. "I kinda like this touchy, feely thing. Since I can’t see you, touching you is just as good, if not better," he said, pulling her against him. Maria touched his lips, feeling a smile. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply.
"I’ve missed you," she said when they broke apart. "Come on, I want to see you." Maria opened the door and they both squinted at the light as they exited the darkroom. "I’m lucky Kyle didn’t come looking for me. I don’t think he’d like finding me fooling around in the darkroom," she said as she put the container with the negatives on the counter. "Why are you here? I thought you guys were in seclusion until the tour. And where’s the camera and at least one of the Mikes?" Jacob smiled.
"Slow down. One question at a time," he said. "I’m here because I wanted to see you. Practice isn’t until ten. The cameras are at the house because I didn’t allow one to come with me and Mike is out in the van waiting for me. Now, it’s my turn. Have you heard anything about Alex?" Maria looked at him and nodded.
"Kristi, you know Dr. Williams? She said that I could see Alex today. I was going to go over at noon. I’m a little nervous, but I’m hoping that something will bring Alex out of it," she said. Jacob nodded.
"I’m sure if anyone can, you can," he said. "Please, call and let me know what happens. Erik is really freaked out and wants some good news."
"Well, I hope I’ll have some by the end of the day. I will call and let you know," Maria told him. Jacob brushed a loose piece of hair away from her face.
"I can’t wait until this tour, really. That way, we’ll get to see each other every day," he said. Maria smiled. She put her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him passionately.
"Well, this is sweet." Maria pulled away from Jacob and glared at Jocelyn, who had entered the lab.
"It’s a little early for you to be here, isn’t it?" Maria asked angrily. Jocelyn smiled and looked at Jacob.
"Really, I don’t know how you put up with her. She’s got, like, constant PMS," she said, grinning.
"Only when you’re around," Maria shot back. Jacob rolled his eyes. He pulled Maria out of the lab and into the hall.
"You need to cool it with her," he said.
"I know. I’m just nervous about seeing Alex," she said.
"Alex will be fine. I’m sure of it. Call me," Jacob said again, kissing her once more before turning and walking toward the entrance. Maria sighed. ‘Please let Alex wake up,’ she said to herself.
"Excuse me." Kristi turned around to see a cute, dark complexioned young man standing before her. He looked familiar. Another man with a long braid was with him.
"Yes? Can I help you?" she asked.
"I’m Erik-Michael Estrada, a friend of Alex Hernandez. I was hoping that maybe I can see her." Kristi remembered him now.
"Right. I’m sorry, only immediate family is allowed," she said. Erik’s face fell and Kristi immediately felt sorry for him.
"Please. For two minutes, even only a minute would do. I just have to see her," Erik pleaded. Kristi sighed. She was too compassionate to say no.
"Follow me," she said. Erik’s heart lightened up a bit. He had been patient this past week, but his patience only went so far. He needed to see Alex…now. Erik and Mike M. followed Kristi down the hallway to what appeared to be a private room.
"She’s not in the ICU anymore?" Erik asked.
"No. Since her vitals have improved, the family requested to have her put in a private room. She’s still got a breathing tube in because of her collapsed lung, but the doctor feels that she’ll wake up in time. Hopefully, the tube can be removed soon," Kristi told him. Erik nodded. Kristi opened the door and peeked in. No one was there.
"Look, I don’t want you getting in any trouble," Erik told her. Kristi smiled.
"I won’t. I can handle these doctors. I never even saw you." She winked and walked away. Erik smiled and entered Alex’s room. Straight ahead were the windows and a chair was in the corner. A TV hung from a stand on the ceiling opposite the bed. A small table was beside the bed and a rectangular table was at the foot of the bed. This table had a cheap yellow plastic pitcher with water in it and a glass on it. There was a small bathroom to Erik’s left. It was all so sterile and impersonal, although there were pictures of Alex with her family on the small table by the bed and a ‘Get Well Soon’ balloon tied to the bed. There were also flowers adorning the windowsill.
Erik walked closer to the bed. The soft hissing of the breathing tube was the only sound in the room. He looked at Alex. She looked normal, like nothing had happened to her. The breathing tube and the IV attached to the back of her hand were the only indications that she was receiving any kind of medical treatment. Erik sat down in the chair beside the bed and gently touched Alex’s fingers. He would feel better if she were awake. Even if she were still hospitalized, at least she’d be awake.
"You don’t deserve this," Erik said softly. "You know, if you wake up, I’ll let you dress me everyday for the rest of my life." Erik laughed to himself. "I wonder what you’d think of this getup they have you in now. A hospital gown isn’t exactly a trendsetter." After a couple of minutes, Erik sighed. "I just want you to wake up, Alex. It’s been long enough. I’m sure you’re all rested and everything, so you can wake up now. Besides, there’s a party that you have to go to with me Saturday night. I’m sure it would be a lot more fun knowing that you were awake, even if you can’t go. Just so you know, if you can’t go, I won’t either. I’ll come sit with you---that’s a promise. We’ll have our own party right here. I never told you how much I care, but I really do care about you. You’re fun and beautiful and a really good person. I wish I had told you this sooner. Please, Alex, wake up…for me." Erik bowed his head; tears sliding slowly down his cheeks. When he looked up, he was shocked to see Alex’s big brown eyes staring at him. "Alex?" he asked, standing up. She looked scared and uncertain. Erik smiled. "You’re gonna be fine," he said, kissing her cheek. "You’re gonna be just fine."