Chapter 16

Maria was still sleeping when Jacob woke up. He stretched and turned over to look at the digital clock that was on the nightstand. It read 5:32. Jacob sighed. Doc was going to kill him. He had totally missed vocal rehearsal. ‘It’s not like I didn’t have a good reason,’ Jacob thought, looking at Maria. The frown lines were gone on her forehead as she slept peacefully. Hell, it was probably the most peaceful sleep she’d had since everything had happened.

The door to the bedroom slowly opened and Sarah appeared in the doorway. She smiled at Jacob. "You’re in trouble," she whispered. Jacob nodded.

"I had a feeling I was. Who called?" he asked her, softly.

"Erik once and Mike with the long braid three times," she replied. ‘Shit,’ Jacob cursed himself.

"Was Mike very mad or calmly mad?" he asked.

"Annoyed," Sarah answered. "But I told him what’s been happening with Maria and he seemed to understand. I don’t think he realized how bad it was." She looked at her sister, sadly. Jacob did too and brushed a loose strand of hair away from her eye.

"She’s gonna be okay. We talked," Jacob said. Sarah nodded, saddened by the adoring look Jacob had on his face as he looked at Maria. The phone rang somewhere in the other room. After a minute, Emily’s voice was heard.

"Sarah? Tell Jacob that Dan’s on the phone," she called. Jacob sighed. He knew that Dan would call eventually. Jacob slowly and carefully got off of the bed. He joined Sarah and they walked into the other room. Emily held the phone out to Jacob, who took it from her.

"Hey, Dan. What’s going on? Am I still part of O-Town or has my solo career started sooner than I thought it would?" Jacob asked. Dan laughed.

"Nah, man, you’re still one of us. You do have to come home, though. The Mikes want to fill us in on some stuff and you have to be here. How’s Maria?" he asked.

"She’s doing okay, actually. Now, I mean. Before, she wasn’t so good," Jacob replied.

"I’m glad you were able to help her. See? She needs you," Dan told him. Jacob smiled into the phone.

"I guess so. I’m just gonna wait until she wakes up, then I’ll be right home," he said.

"All right. Just make sure it’s soon," Dan told him.

"Right, man. Bye." Jacob hung up.

"Are you hungry?" Emily asked him. Jacob smiled and shook his head.

"Yeah, but I’m used to not eating," he said as he headed back to Maria’s bedroom. Emily glanced at Sarah, who was watching Jacob walk away.

"Sarah, stop looking at him like that. He’s with Maria," she reminded her.

"I know," Sarah said before disappearing into their room. Emily shook her head.

Jacob knelt down beside the bed and looked at Maria’s sleeping face. She was so beautiful. He hated leaving her, but he had to. His schedule wasn’t going to get any easier, either. The Britney tour was coming up, which meant that they wouldn’t see each other for a very long time…over four months to be exact. There had to be a way for them to be together during that time, but how?

Maria’s eyes suddenly opened and she found herself looking into Jacob’s clear, blue, worried eyes. "What’s wrong?" she asked softly. Jacob noticed how bloodshot her eyes were and how exhausted she still looked.

"I have to go," he said, standing up. Maria sat up and yawned. Her head was beating and her eyes hurt from crying. Jacob sat down on the bed and leaned towards her, putting one arm over her legs, his head level with hers. "Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded.

"Thanks to you. And my psychotic breakdown," Maria said with a small smile. Jacob laughed.

"If you’re gonna break down, then you might as well get it all out at once," he said. Maria nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so. At least I didn’t throw anything or hurt anyone…except myself." Jacob looked at her until she made eye contact with him.

"Remember what I said: the hurt will eventually go away. It will take a while, but things will get easier," he said.

"You’re too smart to be in a boy band, Jacob," Maria said, smirking. Jacob was extremely relieved to see that she was joking with him again.

"Yeah, well, Ashley’s the blond. He more than makes up for my being ‘smart,’" Jacob said. Maria shook her head.

"I’m gonna tell him that you said that," she said.

"Then I guess I’ll have to shut you up before you do," Jacob said, leaning forward until their lips met in a deep, intense kiss. Maria leaned back, bringing Jacob with her, her arms wrapping around his waist. "I have to go," Jacob moaned against her lips. Maria nodded.

"Sorry," Sarah said from the doorway. Jacob sat up, as did Maria. "I thought that I would drive Jacob back to the house if you’re too tired." Jacob looked at Maria. She did look like she needed more rest.

"That’s a good idea. You get some more sleep," he said softly. Maria grabbed his arm.

"What if the nightmares start again? I think the only reason I slept so well was because you were here," she said. Jacob gave her a small smile. He kissed her forehead lightly.

"Think good thoughts and you’ll have good dreams. If you need me, though, call me," he said. Maria sighed as Jacob stood up. He grabbed his guitar.

"Sarah, the keys to the jeep are on the table by the front door," Maria said. Sarah nodded and left the room. Jacob leaned down to kiss Maria once more before he left. Maria lay down, but didn’t close her eyes. ‘I’m strong. I can’t rely on Jacob to always be here…he can’t.’ He loved her. Maria kept telling herself that she had been hearing things, but she knew that she hadn’t. Jacob had said that he loved her. But Maria wasn’t ready for that, yet. And she wasn’t sure just how she felt about Jacob, either. She cared for him, that was obvious, but love? She’d never been in love before and so she wasn’t sure how it felt. Maria had felt better when he was with her, but, again, she didn’t want to have to rely on him. Why did Maria suddenly feel so weak?

Jacob and Sarah were walking down the hallway when Kathleen came out of the elevator. She smiled at them.

"Sarah, it’s been a while," Kathleen said, hugging the younger girl.

"Hi, Kathleen," Sarah said. Kathleen turned to Jacob.

"Hi, Jacob," she said. He nodded. Kathleen hadn’t seen him since his birthday party. She knew a lot about his relationship with Maria, though, from what Maria had told her. "How’s Maria?" Kathleen then asked.

"Go see for yourself. I have to get Jacob home," Sarah said. Kathleen nodded.

"Okay. Bye, guys," she said. They said ‘goodbye’ and went their separate ways.

Emily opened the door when Kathleen knocked. "Hey, Kath. I miss you," Emily said with a smile. Kathleen walked into the loft.

"How’s Maria?" she asked. Emily shrugged.

"I think Jacob really helped her. I don’t know, though. I haven’t seen her in a couple of days," she said. Kathleen frowned. It had been bad. She walked to the bedroom door and knocked.

"Maria? It’s Kathleen. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come on in," Maria called. Kathleen went into the bedroom. Maria was sitting on the bed with a painting in front of her. She had a couple of jars of paints beside her and was working on it. It was a painting of a rainbow.

"I’ve never seen you paint something so recognizable before," Kathleen said, sitting on the bed beside Maria.

"You can only do so many abstracts. I’ve been playing around with ‘things’ lately. It’s harder to sketch something knowing what that ‘something’ is supposed to look like, you know? With abstract, it’s like whatever your imagination makes up is right. There’s no wrong way to paint or draw abstractly. Something concrete is a lot harder to do." Kathleen looked closely at her best friend. Maria had dark circles under glassy, bloodshot eyes. Kathleen had never seen her looking that way before. It was almost as if she’d been…

"Have you been crying?" Kathleen asked. Maria nodded.

"Yeah. Don’t tell my mother," she said with a small laugh.

"That’s good. I mean, it’s not good what you’ve been through, but letting out your grief. You must feel better," Kathleen said. Maria sighed.

"I do…to a point. Nothing’s really changed. The towers collapsed. A lot of innocent people died. I saw it all. It hurts, but not as much as it did. Jacob, he was…amazing. He told me that he loves me." Kathleen’s eyebrows shot up.

"Oh, wow. That’s…um…wow. What did you say?" she asked.

"He thought I was sleeping. He doesn’t know that I heard him," Maria told her. She continued to paint as she spoke.

"How do you feel about him?"

"I care about him. Love? I seriously don’t know, Kathleen. At first I just wanted him and I still do. It was a lust thing, but the last time we were together…last night…he made love to me. It wasn’t a lustful, needy encounter at all. I mean I needed him, yeah, but not in that way, and he was so gentle and loving. I sound so stupid, but I can’t really put it into words," Maria said. Kathleen nodded. It sounded like love to her. It also sounded like Maria was confused about her feelings for Jacob. Kathleen wouldn’t push it. After everything that Maria had been through, a relationship problem was the last thing that she needed.

"Do you mind if I hang out for a little while?" Kathleen asked. Maria shook her head, grateful that Kathleen had dropped the Jacob conversation. They sat and talked quietly while Kathleen watched Maria continue to paint.

Jacob let himself into the house and the first thing he noticed were the several cameramen and boom mic operators standing in the sitting room. Mike M. walked over to him. "Nice to see you. Doc wants to speak with you privately at the next rehearsal," he said in greeting.

"I thought that he might," Jacob said. He then motioned to the cameras, "What’s all this? I thought that we didn’t start filming until…"

"Tomorrow," Mike finished for him. Jacob shook his head.

"Great. Are we having a meeting or can I go to my room for a little while?" he asked. Mike shook his head.

"Come with me," he said. Jacob followed him into the room with the large table. The other four guys and Mike C. were sitting around, presumably waiting for him to arrive. Trevor and Ashley were rolling a golf ball back and forth to each other to keep themselves occupied while they waited for Jacob.

"Jake’s home!" Erik announced.

"We can see," Ashley said. "Hey, Jake. How’s Maria?" Jacob put his guitar down on the couch before taking a seat next to Dan. He shrugged.

"She’s okay," was all he said and turned to the Mikes. The guys just looked at each other. Okay, so Jacob wasn’t in the mood to talk.

"Please can we get some work done?" Mike M. asked, frustration in his voice.

"This meeting will now come to order!" Erik said. "Mike, Mike, go ahead."

"Thanks," Mike M. said, rolling his eyes.

"There are a couple of more appearances that you’ll be making on the tenth before the concert that night. We’ve booked you on Regis and Kelly and you’ll also be visiting TRL to debut the We Fit Together video. It’s gonna be a busy day," he told them. The guys nodded.

"Wow, it seems like ages ago since we filmed the video. It’s about time MTV is debuting it," Erik remarked. They had taken a break on their radio tour during the summer to go and film the video on a huge yacht. Maria had been with them, but she had chosen to stay at the hotel and skip the shoot.

"Yeah, well, it’s time. So, hopefully, you guys will be in the top ten again soon," Mike C. said. Jacob yawned. Ashley smiled.

"You bored?" he asked. Jacob smirked and gave Mike M., who was waiting to say something, his attention again.

"Filming for the third season of Making The Band starts tomorrow. Now, there will be restrictions as to when you’re filmed and for how long. There will be no hidden microphones and if there are certain times when you don’t want to be filmed, then let me or Mike know and we’ll take care of it. Most of the time, though, the cameras will be rolling, especially on the Britney tour," he said.

"When do we get to meet Britney?" Trevor asked, trying to stay calm, but failing badly. He couldn’t hide the huge grin on his face.

"You’ll meet her, don’t worry," Mike C. said, smiling. "Also, after your concert on the tenth, we’ll return here for a couple of weeks before the tour starts. So, that time will be filled with rehearsals and practice time. Everyone has to be there." He looked at Jacob, who stared right back.

"Okay, you can go now. Rehearsal is tomorrow morning at nine. We’ll see you then," Mike M. said.

"Mike, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jacob asked. Mike nodded. Everyone else got up and left them alone. "Um…I was wondering if it would be possible to bring someone on the tour."

"Jacob, Maria needs some time to get over what happened. Why don’t you give her some space for now and concentrate on your job?" Mike asked. Jacob frowned.

"She’s having a hard time and she needs me. I have a personal life. You and Mike and the record company may be able to tell us what to do career-wise, but when it comes to my personal life, then you have no say," Jacob said, angrily.

"I’m not telling you what to do. All I’m saying is that you need to focus more on the band. This tour is a big deal and you guys have to be at your best. I understand that you like Maria and you two have gotten close, but she has to stay here, Jacob. That’s just the way it is," Mike told him as he gathered up his things. "You’re in the music industry now. You have to make sacrifices," he added before he left. Jacob put his head down on the table.

"I don’t want to be away from her for four months," he said out loud. What could he do to see that that wouldn’t happen?

October 13^th

Maria walked into the lab and frowned at the mess. Jocelyn was not concerned with neatness in the workplace, which infuriated Maria. ‘I’m not a neat-freak, but I’m also not a slob,’ Maria thought as she stepped over discarded pictures and negatives that littered the floor. She took a bite of the Snickers bar that was in her mouth and put her stuff down on the large table that was in the middle of the lab.

"I was wondering when you’d get here," Alex remarked as she came into the lab. "Jesus, what a mess."

"It’s that, that, wannabe-Jocelyn’s mess. She leaves this place looking like a bomb went off all the time and it’s pissing me off. Yeah, I’ve been away for a little while, but she can at least clean up after her skinny ass," Maria said, crossly.

"Whoa! It’s someone’s time of the month," Alex said, smiling. "How are you doing?" she asked, softer. Maria took a deep breath.

"I’m okay, actually. It’s going to take some time, but seeing Dr. Brooks has helped." Maria had been seeing Dr. Elaine Brooks for almost a week now. Her first appointment had been on Monday and although Maria had cried more than she had wanted to, Dr. Brooks had been sympathetic and she had really made Maria feel better about things just by talking about them.

"How many times a week are you going to see her?" Alex asked.

"Right now, three. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. When I can sleep through the night without waking up in a cold sweat or shaking, then I’ll only have to see her once, maybe twice a week," Maria told her. She finished her candy bar and threw the wrapper away. That’s when she saw an envelope of photos on the table. She picked it up and opened it.

"What’re those?" Alex asked. Maria pulled out the photos and almost choked. "What? Maria, what’s wrong?" Alex had noticed that Maria had become extremely pale and agitated. Her hands were shaking slightly.

Maria didn’t answer Alex. She tore out of the room, heading for Kyle’s office. Alex frowned as she quickly ran after her.

Emily was getting ready to go to the park to play her guitar. If she could find her guitar, that is. She went into the sitting room and saw it on the couch where she’d left it. As she picked it up, she happened to glance at the coffee table where the latest issue of Star Power was lying. It was the O-Town cover issue. Emily hadn’t read the article. Her eyes kept returning to Ashley’s picture. She frowned. ‘Well, they say that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world,’ she thought. It was freaky. And upsetting.

"Let me guess. You’re going to the park," Sarah said as she entered the room. Emily looked at her.

"Good guess," she said. "Wanna come? Or are you planning on spending another day sitting here watching Jerry Springer while eating ice cream right out of the carton?"

"You don’t have to be nasty. You don’t have a job either," Sarah said.

"I know and I’m not being nasty, I’m just wondering what it is that you want to do. I mean, you could always sign up for college classes," Emily told her.

"What about you? You didn’t go to college right out of high school either," Sarah said. Emily sighed.

"Fine. I’ll shut up. But don’t go too long without finding something that you’re interested in. I mean, Maria’s into music, photography and writing. What about you?"

"Don’t talk to me about Maria’s talents, okay? I know that she’s talented, but I’m not and I don’t want to discuss this anymore. Go have fun playing your guitar for the birds," Sarah said as she headed to their bedroom. Emily heard the door close and shrugged. She then headed out of the loft; after all, the birds were waiting for her.

"What the hell is this?" Maria shouted as she threw the pictures onto Kyle’s desk. He looked up at a furious Maria, and then down at the pictures that were now lying all over his desk.

"They’re pictures," he said calmly.

"Of?" Maria asked, angrily. Kyle put on his glasses and looked at the pictures. He sighed.

"You took these…that day," he said. Maria nodded.

"I took them, but I didn’t develop them. These were done at a photo lab, not ours. Who had them developed?" she asked.

"I did." Maria turned around to see Jocelyn standing in the doorway beside Alex.

"Who the hell told you that you could have those photos developed? MY photos. Why did you even take the film?" Maria yelled.

"I saw the film on the counter. You must’ve left it after you reloaded your camera for the photo shoot that you did a few weeks ago. Remember, it was a last minute shoot and you were in a hurry? I thought I would do you a favor, so I took the film and had it developed," Jocelyn said. "I’m sorry if it upsets you."

"Bullshit! How dare you touch something that doesn’t belong to you…you don’t touch my stuff, do you understand? That lab has been mine and mine alone long before you set foot in this building. I will not tolerate this kind of intrusion," Maria shouted, turning to Kyle for support. Kyle stood up.

"Maria, it was a mistake. Jocelyn thought that she was helping you, not hurting you. That was never her intention," he said. Maria frowned.

"You cannot possibly be taking her side," she said.

"There are no sides here. Jocelyn said she was sorry. It was a mistake," he told her. Maria closed her eyes trying desperately to get control of herself.

"I can’t do this. I can’t share the lab, Kyle. If you want me to stay here, you have to make a decision: her or me," she said.

"That’s not fair. And I don’t like being given an ultimatum, either. Jocelyn stays. You’re just going to have to find a way to work with her," Kyle told Maria.

Susan had arrived when she heard the yelling and now stood behind Alex and Jocelyn. "Kyle, why don’t we all relax…"

"No, Susan, it’s okay," Maria said, glaring at Kyle. "I refuse to work with her. I quit." Maria grabbed the photos off of Kyle’s desk before angrily pushing past Alex and Jocelyn. She then headed for the lab. Alex ran after her once again.

"I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble," Jocelyn said. Kyle frowned, noticing a slight smirk on her face. Apparently, she wasn’t as sorry as she had said she was.

"Stay away from her," Kyle said as he sat down. Jocelyn pranced out of the office. Susan looked at Kyle.

"You can’t just let Maria quit. She does too much for you," she said. Kyle took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"I can’t make her stay if she doesn’t want to," he said.

"She’s been through hell, Kyle. What is your problem?" Susan asked. When he didn’t answer, she turned and left the office. Kyle sighed. He just shook his head.