.::Chapter 15::.^th. Maria went to take pictures of the Twin Towers. While she was there, two planes attacked the towers. Maria barely escaped death twice, but was helped by an officer, whom she saw killed right in front of her and a young African-American fireman whom she bonded with in the short time they spent together. The band, which stayed in New Jersey, worried about the girls and Jacob admitted that he might be falling in love with Maria. The girls managed to get out of New York and called the guys from their limo. Maria was a little too calm and collected, which worried Jacob further. He planned to see her as soon as they were both back in Orlando. Maria’s very traumatized, but trying not to show it.

Chapter 15

O-Town entered their house slowly and quietly. They dragged themselves to their respective rooms, still wondering what had gone wrong with the world and why so many people had had to die senselessly. They refused to turn on the news. They had watched enough of the coverage at the hotel and on the bus. It was now just a recovery mission: the recovery of bodies and parts of bodies. It was too horrible to even think about.

Jacob dropped his things on the floor of his room and did a belly flop onto his bed. He wanted to scream in frustration and anger at what was going on. Maria was hurting, he was sure of it. Jacob wanted so badly to help her, but he couldn’t. She wasn’t back in Orlando yet and by the way that she had sounded on the phone he didn’t think that she was ready to talk about what she had been through anytime soon. Jacob didn’t care. He just wanted her with him. The fact that he was falling in love with her scared him, but he couldn’t deny his feelings. Maria was on his mind constantly. She was like a drug that he was addicted to. Although they had only been intimate once, he remembered the feeling of being with her and wanting her. He wanted her again. Hell, he wanted her now, especially because she was hurting and she needed him. Jacob planned on being there for her whether she wanted him there or not.

As the limo continued its journey to Orlando, Alex, Emily and Sarah slept while Maria sat, staring straight ahead. She had her headphones on and was listening to DC Talk, a Christian rock group that Jacob had told her about. She wasn’t hearing the music, though. Even as she sat there with her eyes opened, fully awake, the images were there in her mind. She saw the plane fly into Tower 2, slicing through the steel like a knife slicing through a cake. The most harrowing images in her mind, though, were of the bodies falling from one hundred stories up and of Officer Lansing. He had been so young, so charming and so cute. He had saved her life and lost his because of it. Maria felt sick. She knocked on the privacy window of the limo. When it slid down, she yelled for the driver to pull over. He did so and Maria jumped from the car and got sick by the side of the road.

The other three girls woke up when they realized the limo had stopped. They saw what had happened. Sarah immediately got out and put her arm around Maria, as she stood bent over trying to control her upset stomach.

Emily and Alex remained in the limo. "I wonder if it’s car sickness or something else," Alex remarked. "I know that she gets carsick, but after everything she’s been through and all the shit she must’ve inhaled, who knows?"

"I don’t know what to do. I’ve never dealt with someone who has witnessed what Maria has," Emily said. Alex shook her head.

"Neither have I. I want to just let her deal with it on her own, but how can she? She won’t even talk about it. Keeping it all in is worse, isn’t it?" she asked. Emily nodded.

"I would think so," she said. They stopped talking when Maria and Sarah returned to the limo. Sarah turned to the limo driver.

"Go ahead. She just has carsickness. She’s okay," she said to him. He nodded and they were on their way again. Emily and Alex looked at each other, then at Maria, who looked pale and very nervous…not at all like the usual ‘in-control’ Maria. They looked helplessly at each other. They had to do something, but what?

Ashley went looking for Jacob. He found him in the studio, sitting on a stool, playing his guitar.

"I thought you might like some company," Ashley said, standing in the doorway. Jacob shrugged. He was tired, but couldn’t sleep. What he wanted to do was get in the van and go to Maria’s apartment and wait for her, but he didn’t know what time the girls would be returning. "Did Maria say something on the phone that upset you?" Ashley asked when Jacob didn’t say anything. Jacob sighed. Ashley was too damn nosy for his own good.

"She hung up on me," Jacob said, not looking up from his guitar strings.

"Really? Why? I mean I know that she’s freaked out about what happened, but…"

"But what?" Jacob asked, looking at Ashley. "As far as we know, she went through hell yesterday, Ash. I don’t know what to say or do. She’s pretending like she’s fine. I don’t believe her, but I’m not gonna argue with her. That’s the last thing she needs right now."

"That’s not good, though. She’s, like, keeping all of her hurt inside and it’ll just get worse," Ashley said.

"She’s doing it because she doesn’t want to look like she can’t handle it. I’m no psychologist so I really don’t know and I haven’t been with Maria long, but I know that she likes to think that she’s strong, which she is, but showing any kind of weakness would bother her," Jacob surmised. Ashley frowned.

"So, we just pretend like everything’s okay? I don’t know if I can do that," Ashley said. "Everything’s not okay. We’re at war. We were attacked. How can we pretend like everything is okay?" he asked. Jacob shook his head.

"I don’t know. If I had answers, I’d tell you, but right now, I just don’t know," he said, truthfully. Ashley turned and walked slowly down the stairs. Jacob remained in the studio, strumming his guitar and thinking about Maria.

Alex went to Maria’s loft with the others. She didn’t want to leave her just yet. Although Maria kept saying that she was okay, Alex knew better.

They tiredly dragged themselves into the loft. Emily and Sarah headed for their room, while Alex helped Maria carry her things to her room. Heathcliff met them and Maria picked him up. She kissed him and carried him to the kitchen where she filled his cat food dish with fresh food and water. Once that was done, Maria filled the teakettle with water and put it on the stove to boil. She turned to see Alex staring at her.

"The limo’s waiting. Why don’t you go home?" Maria asked.

"I will. I just don’t want to be alone yet." ‘And I don’t want to leave you yet, either,’ Alex thought. Maria nodded.

"Fine. I’m gonna change. I’ll be back," she said as she disappeared into her bedroom. Alex got out her phone and dialed Erik’s number.

Erik was lying on the couch in sweats and a tee shirt. He had the TV on, but the sound muted. He had seen the footage of the Twin Towers being hit countless times, but it was inescapable since that’s what the news channels kept showing. ‘I guess I can watch something else,’ he thought. But he didn’t have the energy to locate the remote.

"Erik, your phone is ringing," Dan called from upstairs. Erik jumped up, suddenly finding some energy, and ran up the stairs to his room. He grabbed his phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Erik. I know it’s late, but Jacob needs to get over here. Maria isn’t good and I think that maybe if he were with her, it’d help a lot. She’s acting too calm, like nothing happened. It’s not good and I’m worried about her," Alex said.

"Calm down, sweetheart. I know that Jake wants to see her…we all do. Would it be all right if I came, too?" Erik asked.

"Sure. I’m anxious to see you. Let me give you the address." Alex gave Erik the address and some easy directions to the loft before hanging up.

Erik saw Ashley walking by his room. "Hey, Ash? Is Jacob in his room?" Ashley entered Erik’s room.

"He’s in the studio. Why? What’s up?" Ashley asked.

"Alex wants Jake to go see Maria. She’s worried about her and thinks that he might be able to help her," Erik answered.

"I don’t know if that’s true. I just talked to Jacob and he seems unsure about how to help Maria. He wants to and he seems to know why Maria’s acting the way that she is, but he’s not sure if he’ll be able to do or say the right thing," Ashley said. Erik left his room, Ashley right behind him.

"Well, she needs him and if he loves her like he thinks he does, then he’s gonna help her," Erik said. Ashley smiled.

"Can I come?" he asked. Erik frowned.

"Why?"

"I want to see Maria…and Sarah, too. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Sarah when Maria was missing," Ashley told him. Erik hadn’t even thought of that. He nodded.

"Sure, come on. I’ll get Jake, you go tell Dan and Trevor where we’re going," he said. Ashley went to find Dan and/or Trevor while Erik headed for the guesthouse.

Maria had changed into pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. She was sitting on the couch with Emily and Alex drinking her third cup of tea. They refused to turn on the TV, so they sat and talked about frivolous things: mostly about clothes, shopping and music. It was late, so Maria was surprised when there was a knock on the door.

"I’ll get it," Sarah called. She was coming into the room and turned to get the door. "Hey, guys!" Maria looked over Alex’s shoulder and saw Sarah hugging Erik, Ashley, and then Jacob as they walked into the loft. Alex jumped up and ran to Erik, who grabbed her and hugged her tightly. Maria and Emily also stood up. Jacob walked over and looked at Maria, whose throat had closed up. She didn’t want to get emotional, especially in front of Jacob, so she turned and ran to her bedroom.

"Guys, this is Emily," Sarah said. "Em, this is Ashley, Jacob and Erik is hugging Alex." Emily nodded at the guys. Jacob looked at Sarah, who went over to him.

"What do I do?" he asked. Sarah sighed and led him to Maria’s bedroom door. She tried the knob and was surprised when it opened. Jacob went in and closed the door. Sarah returned to the sitting room.

"Man, it’s good to see you guys. We should’ve met you in New Jersey," she said to Ashley. He nodded.

"No one could’ve really guessed what was gonna happen," he said. Emily sat back down on the couch, hugging a pillow to her chest and frowning.

"What’s wrong?" Sarah asked her. Emily shook her head.

"Nothing," she said. Sarah shrugged. Ashley sat down beside Emily. She was pretty and very ‘normal’ looking. She had her glasses on. She felt someone staring at her and turned to look at Ashley.

"What?" she asked. He smiled.

"Nothing. I didn’t mean to stare. It’s nice to finally meet you. Sarah talked about you a lot when she was with us on the tour," Ashley told her. Emily just nodded and remained quiet. She was looking away from him. Ashley figured that she was just shy.

"How are you?" Erik asked Alex, who shook her head.

"I want to go home. Can you come with me and I’ll have the limo bring you back here?" she asked. He nodded.

"Did you hear that Ash?" he asked. Ashley nodded. Alex said ‘goodbye’ to Emily and Sarah and they left the loft. Sarah sat down beside Ashley on the couch.

"I hope Jacob can help Maria, but I think he’s got a fight on his hands. She’s acting like nothing happened," Sarah said, frustrated.

"We can’t force her to talk, Sarah," Emily said. "Just give her time. She’ll talk when she wants to talk."

"Why are you here?" Maria asked. She was standing by the windows in her room. Jacob stood by the door. The room was lit only with a small lamp on the nightstand. The room totally fit Maria’s personality. It was painted in a bright, ocean blue. The rug was another shade of blue, darker, but it blended well with the walls. She had pictures hanging all over the walls in no pattern; they were just put wherever Maria felt like putting them. The bed had a colorful, kaleidoscope printed quilt on it. To Jacob’s right was a door that led into the bathroom. A closet with double doors was next to the door to the bathroom. The large bed was in the center of the room with a nightstand on either side. Above the bed was what appeared to be an ink-sketch drawing of the Last Supper. A dresser with a large mirror was across from the bed and there was a rocking chair in the corner of the room. A small gray kitten was looking at him with wide eyes from a large pillow on the rocking chair. Sketchpads, paints and other various art supplies littered the floor, along with cat toys.

"I wanted to see you. I had hoped that you wanted to see me, too," Jacob said, feeling uncomfortable.

"Why? So you can tell me that I need a psychiatrist?" she asked, angrily. "I don’t want to talk about it." Jacob walked over to her. Maria refused to look at him.

"I want to help you, but I’m not gonna make you do anything that you don’t want to do. I’m just so relieved that you’re okay. When I heard that you were there when it happened, I…I thought that I’d lost you," he told her. Maria then looked at him. The look in his eyes was unmistakable, but Maria was hesitant to believe that it was ‘love.’ It was more like ‘relief’ and ‘longing.’ She slowly reached for him and Jacob pulled her into his embrace. Maria clung to him, her emotions held in check. When Jacob pulled away, Maria touched his face lightly.

"There is something you can do for me," she said softly. He covered her hand with his own, putting it to his mouth and kissing her fingers lightly.

"Anything," he said. Maria smiled.

"Love me," she said. She leaned forward and touched her lips to his. Jacob didn’t think that it was the appropriate time, but his need for her overwhelmed him when he felt her lips on his. He deepened the kiss and pulled her body to his, grateful that she was there for him to hold and kiss. Maria pulled away and walked over to the door. She locked it and went to sit on the bed. Jacob sat down next to her. He looked at her bandaged arm and frowned.

"You were hurt?" he asked. Maria shrugged.

"It’s no big deal." Jacob then noticed small cuts on her face. He reached up to run his fingers over her cheek. "I’m okay," she said softly. Jacob looked into her eyes. They didn’t have the brightness they usually did. Maria didn’t like him staring at her, so she turned and kissed him deeply. Jacob was taken by surprise. He held her head in his hands as her arms wrapped around his waist. Her mouth opened and he slid his tongue over her bottom lip before entering her mouth. Maria moaned and lay back on the bed, bringing Jacob with her.

Maria’s hands slid underneath his shirt and pulled it up. Jacob leaned back so that she could pull it off of him. He then pulled her shirt over her head. Since it was her sleeping attire, Maria didn’t have on a bra. Jacob brought his head to her chest, kissing and licking her soft, sweet skin. Maria raked her nails slowly up and down Jacob’s back. He hooked his fingers in her pajama bottoms and slid them down, leaving her bare. He crawled up her body and kissed her passionately. Maria sat up and pushed Jacob so that he was standing at the foot of the bed. She made quick work of his jeans and boxers. She stood up and kissed him. Jacob’s hands roamed over her body, touching her everywhere. Maria pulled him down with her onto the bed again, as their kissing became more intense.

"Maria, I know this is a bad time to tell you this, but I didn’t bring anything," Jacob groaned as Maria nibbled on his neck. She rolled out from under him and went to her nightstand where she got what they needed. Jacob smiled as she tossed it to him. Pulling out her ponytail, Maria crawled back onto the bed, capturing Jacob’s mouth again with her own. He quickly prepared himself and rolled Maria over so that she was, once again, under him.

"I need you," she said, breathlessly as he caressed her, his hands moving expertly over her body. Jacob propped himself up on his arms and looked down at her. This was definitely not like their first encounter. There were feelings besides lust involved. Jacob was falling hard for Maria, but she…he didn’t know how she felt. And he didn’t want to use her if she was vulnerable. "What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?" she asked as he just stared at her. Jacob swallowed hard.

"More than ever, but…"

"No ‘buts.’ Make love to me," Maria said, pulling him to her. Jacob couldn’t resist her. He slowly entered her, causing her to moan softly, her eyes closing as she gripped him tightly. Jacob began to sweat as he moved within her, not wanting to hurry, but finding it hard to control himself. "Faster," she said. Jacob’s heartbeat quickened as his movements quickened. Soon, Maria was biting her lip to keep from crying out. Jacob leaned down and kissed her as she went over the edge, the pleasure so intense that she accidentally scratched Jacob’s back with her long nails. He felt the pain, but ignored it as he, too, reached his peak, collapsing on top of Maria, both of them breathing heavily.

Jacob turned his head and began placing light kisses on Maria’s neck. He started to move off of her, but she held him where he was. "No, don’t go yet," she whispered. Jacob was happy to stay lying on top of her.

"How do you feel?" he asked softly. Maria sighed.

"I feel very close to you right now," she said, reaching up and tucking a dread behind his ear. Jacob rolled off of her. He smiled at her and then jumped from the bed heading for the bathroom. Maria pulled down the quilt and sheet. She pulled on her pajama bottoms and tee shirt before sliding beneath the sheet where she waited for Jacob to come back. Heathcliff scared her by jumping up into the bed with her. Maria smiled and pet him. She sighed. So much had happened. Things were different now. Jacob was different. He hadn’t had sex with her; he’d made love to her. It was a big difference, one that Maria wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with yet. She knew that Jacob wanted her to talk about yesterday, but she wasn’t ready to talk about it. She didn’t want to.

Jacob came back into the room and slid on his boxers. He then joined Maria in the bed. He smiled at the kitten that was looking at him like he wanted to scratch his eyes out.

"He’s not dangerous is he?" Jacob asked. Maria laughed.

"Hardly. He just wants to know what you’re doing in his bed. This is his territory, you know," she said.

"Yeah, well, right now, it’s mine. Get lost, cat," Jacob said as Heathcliff hopped over him and jumped to the floor. Maria faced Jacob, snuggling up to him and he wrapped his arms around her. Just yesterday he had thought that she was dead, now he lay in her bed, holding her after having made love to her. Jacob leaned over and kissed her. Maria smiled, but he noticed that her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She traced his kiss-swollen lips with her finger and looked into his blue eyes that stared at her intently.

"Can you stay?" she asked him. Jacob didn’t know if he was allowed to be out all night…he guessed not. But Maria needed him.

"Yeah, I can stay," he said. Maria looked very tired. Like him, she probably hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. He pulled her closer to him, grateful that she didn’t move away. Jacob and Maria lay together in silence. Maria didn’t want to close her eyes. She was afraid to close her eyes. She knew that the images were still there and she wanted to avoid seeing them in her mind’s eye. So, she gently rubbed Jacob’s arm, thankful for his closeness and just the fact that he was there. "Why don’t you try and get some sleep?" he asked.

"I’m not tired," Maria lied. Jacob knew she was lying. She looked exhausted, but he wouldn’t push her. There was a knock at the door. Maria frowned.

"That must be Ashley," Jacob said. Maria nodded and rolled away from him. She stood up, straightening her hair and taking a deep breath. She walked over to the door and unlocked it. It was, indeed, Ashley at the door.

"I don’t mean to bother you guys, but it’s late," he said.

"Jacob’s staying," Maria told him. Ashley raised his eyebrows.

"I don’t think…" he started to say, but Maria cut him off.

"I said he’s staying. If your management has a problem with that, tell them to come yell at me," she said. "I’ll drive him back to your house tomorrow morning. Goodnight." Maria closed the door. Jacob couldn’t hide a smile. Maria returned to the bed. "I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me," she told him. Jacob ran a hand through her hair and pulled her face to his.

"I know how to handle the Mikes," he said right before he kissed her deeply. Maria then resumed her position in his arms. Jacob soon fell asleep while Maria lay, watching him, her eyes wide open, too afraid to close them.