Chapter 14
6:45 p.m. New York
Maria had been able to get through to ground zero because of Ray. Seeing that she was with him, the police had allowed her in. Maria tried not to stare at the tired-looking, depressed rescue workers and firemen who were working at the site. She handed out water and was thanked profusely for helping them out. Maria even helped the paramedics bandage cuts and rinse out the workers’ eyes. The dust was still everywhere. It blanketed the ground, the buildings and the cars. It was all over the people, too.
Smoke continued to billow up into the azure sky, blocking out the sun and covering the rescue workers in an eerie, cloudy environment. Maria hadn’t heard many more ambulance sirens and the EMS workers were discouraged due to the lack of patients. ‘No one survived,’ Maria thought. Only five victims had been found alive since the buildings had collapsed. People were showing up with pictures of missing loved ones and friends, but Maria speculated that no one else would be found alive. At this point, the rescue workers were no longer ‘rescuing,’ they were ‘recovering.’
"You empty?" Maria turned to see Ray standing beside her. He was very young and handsome. He had cuts on his face and dust all over him. He was under the impression that they would find people alive. Maria didn’t say anything to ruin his hope. She looked into her empty cardboard box that had contained more bottles of water.
"Yeah. I think I should head back to my hotel. My sister is probably totally freaking out wondering if I’m all right or if I’m even alive. I can’t stay here anymore."
"I need a break, too. I’ll walk you to your hotel if it’s not far," Ray offered. Maria nodded. She told Ray which hotel she was staying at and they started walking. Maria was glad to be leaving. She doubted that she’d ever return. The site where the Twin Towers had once stood was now hell on earth.
Sarah was lying on the bed. The TV had been turned off. Emily had gone to see if she could find out anything down in the lobby. Alex was with Sarah. She was just as worried about Maria as Sarah was. ‘Why did she have to go to the towers, of all places?’ Alex asked herself. She went to the window. Smoke was still blowing from Lower Manhattan. If only the phones worked. The guys must be devastated, wondering whether or not Maria was okay. Alex sighed. She turned when the door opened.
"People are starting to walk away from the site," Emily said. "The area is closed down and police have taken control, so I’m sure Maria will be back any time now." Alex closed her eyes. She hoped so because she couldn’t stand this much longer.
"You okay?" Ray asked as he walked beside Maria, who hadn’t said a word to him since they had left ground zero behind them. She shook her head.
"No, I’m not." Ray put his arm around her. He had taken off his coat and now only wore his uniform tee shirt and pants. People stared at them. They were covered in dust and filth, cuts covering Ray’s face and Maria’s face and arms. Maria’s bandage had gotten considerably dirty and was now also dust covered. "Pray to God, Maria. He’ll help you through this. Those people are with him now."
"What about the survivors? They’re the ones who have to live dealing with the fact that their husbands, wives, mothers, daughters, sons, grandpas, grandmas, uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, boyfriends and co-workers are gone. How many families were torn apart today? How many people’s lives were destroyed today?" Maria asked. Ray just shook his head.
"A lot, baby, but you have to move on. I lost so many brothers today that I couldn’t even begin to count. I see many funerals in my near future," he said, sadly.
"You’re very calm about it," Maria noted.
"You are, too. I don’t see you shedding any tears," Ray said to her.
"I was told at an early age that only babies cry. Whenever I cried my mom would tell me to stop being a baby and grow up. She told me that only weaklings cry. I never wanted to be weak. I was strong and I had to be strong for my brother and sister, so I never cried. I guess I conditioned myself to not cry. I just don’t," she said.
"Holding it in can hurt, though, baby. Even the strongest men cry," Ray told her. Maria shrugged.
"But I don’t." They had reached the hotel and stopped. Maria turned to Ray before entering the lobby. "Thank you for saving my life. I never believed in heroes until today," Maria said as she hugged him tightly. Ray fought back tears.
"I was glad that I could help," he said, wiping his eyes. "See, strong men do cry." Maria smiled, her first one since everything had started early this morning.
"Maybe we’ll meet again some day," Maria said, although that was probably unlikely. Ray nodded.
"I’m sure you’ll be famous for the pictures you took," he said, pointing to her camera. Maria looked at her badly ‘injured’ camera. She didn’t know what she’d do with the film just yet---she didn’t even know if she wanted the pictures to be developed.
"Goodbye," she said and she turned around, walking slowly inside. Ray watched her go. He was worried about her state of mind. She had been through a lot…and she had seen a lot. Hopefully her sister would be able to help her.
Ignoring the curious looks of the hotel staff and other people who were milling about in the lobby, Maria hurried to the elevators and got in. When she reached her floor, she walked quickly down the hallway. She couldn’t wait to get into the shower to wash the dust off of her. But, first, she had to see Sarah.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door to Sarah and Emily’s room when she had reached it. The door opened and Emily’s face lit up in relief and joy. She hugged Maria tightly, ignoring the dust and dirt that covered Maria from head to toe.
"You have no idea how worried we were," Emily said when she had released her and Maria walked into the room. Sarah flew off of the bed and ran into Maria’s arms. Maria held her sister as Sarah sobbed on her shoulder.
"I thought you were dead!" she said. "I’m sorry for what I did. I promise, I’ll be good. You can have Jacob, I don’t care!" Maria smiled slightly at that.
"Thank you," she said, shaking her head. "It’s okay. I’m all right." Maria backed away from her. Alex was next and hugged Maria tightly, not saying a word. "Really, Al, I’m okay. I just want to take a shower. For obvious reasons," Maria told her. Alex nodded and let her go. "I was there, but I was on the street when it happened. I just ran," Maria told them. Emily frowned. Maria seemed…too calm.
"If there’s anything that you want to talk about…" Emily said. Maria shook her head.
"You’ve probably seen everything on TV anyway. There’s nothing to tell," she said. Alex looked at Emily. Sarah wiped her eyes with a tissue.
"Hey, if you don’t want to talk about it, fine. Just forget it. You’re okay and that’s all that counts," she said, as she blew her nose.
"I’m gonna go take that shower now," Maria told them. "Don’t worry anymore. I’m okay." Maria walked hurriedly out of the room to go to her own room.
"She’s not okay," Emily said softly.
Maria entered the hotel room, grabbed some clean clothes and went into the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was covered in dust and dirt. Her hair was a tangled mess, her black shirt was now dust covered and ripped on the shoulder. Her jeans were also dirty and torn at the knees. Her feet were dust-covered and bleeding from broken glass cuts. Her sandals were ruined.
Looking closely at herself, Maria reached up and pulled what was left of her ponytail out. She took off her clothes and put them in a pile on the floor, undergarments included. She planned on throwing them away, since they were beyond repair. Maria then stepped into the shower and stood under the warm spray. She closed her eyes and the images immediately came back. Everything she had seen flashed through her mind like slides from a projector. She began to shake and sat down in the tub, pulling her legs up to her chin, hugging her knees to her chest. She sat like that while the water eventually became cold. Even then, she still sat there, shaking.
September 12th New Jersey
"What’s the plan?" Ashley asked the Mikes as they joined them in the hotel room. The guys had all slept in the same room last night…well four of the guys had slept a little anyway. Jacob hadn’t. Once he had woken up, he hadn’t been able to sleep the rest of the night. He’d softly played his guitar and read his Bible.
"We’re going back to Orlando," Mike M. answered. Jacob looked at him with tired eyes.
"What? What about…?" Jacob started, but Mike C. cut him off.
"The girls? We’ll see them when they return to Orlando," he told him.
"We don’t even know if Maria’s okay," Trevor protested.
"Guys, when the girls are able to, they’ll call. I’m sure Maria wants to talk to you as much as you want to talk to her. Don’t worry. I have faith that she wasn’t in the towers when they were struck," Mike M. said.
"Are flights still grounded?" Dan asked. Mike C. nodded.
"They have cancelled all flights until noon today, supposedly, but with security so tight right now, I have a feeling that they’re not gonna reopen the airports for a while. If they are letting traffic in and out of New York, then we’ll arrange to have the girls driven back to Florida. It’ll all work out," he said. Jacob got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
"Man, he is this close to losing it," Ashley said. "He didn’t sleep at all last night. I know because I didn’t either."
"I don’t think any of us did," Erik said as he yawned. At least he knew that Alex was okay. What Jacob was going through, though, he couldn’t imagine. Erik went to the bathroom and walked right in. Jacob stood at the sink, splashing cold water onto his face.
"Jake, man. I know that you’re worried, but…"
"Don’t say it, Erik. ‘Maria’s okay. Maria’s fine. She wasn’t there.’ We don’t know if that’s true, so please don’t say it," Jacob told him. Erik nodded, frowning as he looked at the dark circles under Jacob’s eyes.
"I know and you’re right. We don’t know, but we have to stay hopeful."
"I’m trying, but it’s so damn hard. Even if Maria wasn’t in the towers when they were struck, she could’ve been hurt on the ground. She could’ve been standing there when the debris came down and…"
"Stop it!" Erik shouted. He grabbed Jacob by the shoulders and turned him to face him. "Don’t think like that! Maria wasn’t anywhere near there, do you understand? She’s not dead, Jake. She’s not dead!" Erik pulled Jacob to him and hugged him. Jacob was grateful for the support. When they backed away, Erik looked questioningly at him. "How do you really feel about Maria?" Jacob looked away. "Come on, Jake. I know you and I know that you don’t just sleep with chicks for fun. You care for her…deeply." Jacob swallowed hard. After a few minutes, he finally looked at Erik.
"Yeah, I do. I didn’t want to, but I do," he admitted. Jacob took a deep breath. "I realize now that it’s more than my just wanting her. I think I’m falling in love with her…if I haven’t already."
New York
Maria stared at the ceiling. She had memorized every inch of it since she had stared at it all night. She had tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw them. The images: the bodies falling from the building, the man jumping, the buildings on fire, and the planes crashing into the towers. And she had especially seen Officer Peter Lansing’s cold, dead, staring eyes. She shivered. It had happened and Maria had seen it all. She didn’t want the nightmares to start, so she hadn’t slept.
"I want to go home," Alex said, as she got dressed. She knew that Maria hadn’t slept, but she didn’t want to force her to describe what she had been through, although Alex was dying to know.
"I do too," Maria said. Alex had never had to deal with this kind of trauma before. She knew that Maria was traumatized, that much was apparent, but since Maria wouldn’t talk about it, Alex thought it best to just let Maria act the way that she wanted to act and when she wanted to talk, then Alex would be there to listen.
"I got to talk to Erik. Well not really ‘talk’ to him but I told him that I was okay. I had to tell him, though, that you had gone out and…"
"You didn’t tell him where I had gone did you?" Maria asked, frowning.
"I had to. I was worried," Alex said.
"Dammit, Alex! Now the guys are probably worried too. Why did you do that?" Maria asked, angrily.
"Look, don’t get mad, okay? I told you that I was worried and I wanted them to know what was going on, that’s all," Alex told her.
"Great. They don’t need that kind of stress right now. And we can’t even contact them to let them know that I’m okay. That’s just great. Thanks a lot, Alex," Maria said right before she left the room quickly. Alex sighed. She told herself to calm down and that Maria had been through a lot. She had a right to be moody. She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.
Maria went to the room next door and knocked. After a few minutes, the door opened and Emily let Maria in.
"I want to leave today," Maria said. Emily frowned.
"Can we?" she asked. Maria nodded.
"Yes. I believe that people are being let out of the city, but none are being allowed in at this point," she told her.
"How are we going to get back to Orlando? Rent a car?" Emily asked.
"I was thinking a limo. I’ll come back when I have more details of what we’re doing," she said. Sarah was listening from her bed. Maria was too high strung, but Sarah didn’t blame her.
"I want to leave as soon as possible," she said. Maria looked over at her sister and nodded.
"Okay. I’ll be back," she said and left. Emily looked over at Sarah.
"Just give her time," she said.
Sarah sat up and hugged her knees. "I’m worried about her. I don’t want to force her to talk to me, but she’s acting too normal, you know?"
"I know, but she has to deal with it in her own way. We don’t know everything that she went through yesterday. Maybe once we’re home, she’ll tell us, maybe not, but I agree that we can’t force her to talk," Emily said. Sarah lay back down. Her sister needed help, but she had no idea how to help her.
On the bus headed for Orlando
"Man, I must’ve returned about fifty calls," Trevor said as he put down his cell phone. "Everyone thought that we were in the city." He was sitting with his band mates in the back of the bus. They had all returned calls to their frantic loved ones who had been worried about them. Jacob sighed. The one person that he had wanted to call him hadn’t or couldn’t call him. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat.
"I wish I had heard from Alex again," Erik said sadly. Mike M. poked his head in.
"Guys, phone service hasn’t been restored in Lower Manhattan, but the city is letting outgoing traffic through. My guess is that the girls will return to Orlando today. So, once they get out of the city, they’ll call," he said, looking at Jacob.
"Thanks for keeping us up-to-date, Mike," Jacob said, gratefully. Mike nodded and disappeared once again. Jacob got up and followed. As soon as the door closed, Erik looked at the others.
"He told me that he thinks he might be in love with Maria," he said. Ashley frowned.
"Mike?" he asked. Dan hit him.
"No, dumbass. Jake," he said, smiling. Ashley frowned, rubbing his arm where Dan had hit him.
"Sorry. Geez, you didn’t have to hit me," he said.
Trevor played around with his cell phone. "Really? Love, huh? That was quick. I thought that he was hopelessly in love with Janie not so long ago," he said, not looking at the others. Erik shrugged.
"Sometimes you find that person that you know is the one when you’re least expecting it," he said. Trevor nodded. Maybe this meant that Maria wasn’t the one for him.
"I just hope that she’s all right," Ashley said. The guys became silent, each with their own thoughts. They all hoped that Maria was all right.
In a limo headed for Orlando
Maria was stretched out on one of the long seats on one side of the limo. She had her sketchpad open on her lap and she was drawing. No one had said much, just small talk mostly. Sarah glanced at what Maria was drawing. It was the Twin Towers---before the airplanes had hit them. Maria’s face was a mask of concentration. There were scratches still noticeable, mostly on her cheeks and forehead, but they weren’t deep. Maria had re-bandaged her arm, not saying what had happened to it or how badly it had been cut. No one had asked her, either.
"Finally!" Alex said, pressing buttons on her cell phone. "My service has been restored. I can use it." She immediately dialed Erik’s cell phone number.
On the bus
Erik jumped when his cell phone rang. He had been falling asleep. He picked it up and answered it. "Hello?" he mumbled, sleepily.
"Thank God I was able to get through!" came Alex’s voice. Erik smiled and sat up.
"Alex, you don’t know how relieved I am to hear your voice," he said. Trevor, Dan and Ashley perked up, listening intently. Erik nodded and gave a thumbs up. If something were wrong, he would’ve been able to tell right away from Alex’s voice.
"Maria’s okay. She was there, but she made it back to the hotel a little after seven last night," Alex told him. Erik smiled into the phone.
"That’s great news. We knew that she was okay. I’m gonna get Jake, hold on," he said as he handed the phone to Ashley and went to find Jacob.
"Alex, it’s Ashley. Are you sure she’s okay? I mean she’s not freaked out or anything is she?" he asked.
"Of course she is," Alex told him. She didn’t want to say too much with Maria sitting right there watching her. "It was awful, but we’re on our way home now."
Erik returned with an anxious-looking Jacob. Erik took the phone from Ashley and handed it to Jacob. "Alex, it’s Jacob. Can I talk to Maria?"
"Sure," Alex told him. She held out the phone to Maria. "Jacob wants to talk to you." Alex smiled. Maria took a deep breath as she took the phone from Alex.
"Hi," she said softly. Jacob sat down. Tears came to his eyes at the sound of her voice and he rubbed a hand over his face.
"Thank God. I thought…" he started.
"I’m fine. Don’t waste time worrying about me. You have the group to worry about. I guess your concert was cancelled, huh? I was looking forward to seeing you guys perform again," Maria said. Jacob frowned. She sounded…strange. She was too calm, too unemotional.
"Maria, are you…?" he started to ask.
"Jacob, I’m fine," she told him with a slight edge in her voice. "I just have a few cuts and bruises. I wasn’t feeling too hot last night, but after I walked back to the hotel and cleaned myself up, I felt better." Maria didn’t feel like talking about what had happened right now---or ever, really.
"Good, I’m glad. It must’ve been horrible. We watched TV most of the day and couldn’t believe what we were seeing," Jacob told her. Maria tensed up. Alex, Emily and Sarah noticed her getting agitated.
"Yeah, well, it was a lot worse in person," Maria said, her voice a little shaky. "Alex wants her phone back." Alex looked at her, frowning and shaking her head. "So, I have to go," Maria continued, ignoring her.
"I want to see you when you get back," Jacob said.
"Yeah, I’ll see. I still have the magazine to work on. Your issue isn’t done yet. I still have some pictures that I have to have approved and I have to show the final article and photos to Susan. I’ll check with Kyle about taking a day off or something. Talk to you soon. Bye." Maria hung up and handed the phone back to Alex. She then returned her attention to her sketch. Alex just stared at her, as did Emily and Sarah. They decided to leave Maria alone for now.
Jacob sat staring at the phone in his hands. Maria had hung up on him. Why would she hang up on him? Probably because she was more freaked out by what had happened than he had thought. She hadn’t sounded like herself.
"Jake, what’s wrong?" Erik asked. Jacob shook his head.
"A lot, I think," he said. The phone rang and he quickly answered it. "Hello?"
"Jacob? It’s Alex again," she said quietly, almost whispering. "I don’t know what’s going on, but Maria’s been acting strange."
"Of course she is. Who knows what the hell she saw yesterday," Jacob said, emphatically.
"Don’t take it personally," Alex whispered.
"I want to see her when you guys get back. Call us the minute you arrive," Jacob said and handed the phone back to Erik. Jacob got up and left. Erik frowned.
"What the hell is going on?" he asked Alex.
"Maria’s acting really weird. I can’t talk now. I’ll call you when we get back. I miss you, Erik," Alex said with a sigh.
"I miss you too. Okay, we should be home by tomorrow afternoon at the latest," he said.
"I’ll call you and hopefully we can get together," Alex told him.
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye." Alex hung up. She glanced at Maria who was still sketching her picture, ignoring everything and everyone around her. Hopefully, Jacob would be able to get through to her. He seemed to want to help her. Even though Maria and Jacob’s relationship wasn’t that old, Alex knew that the feelings between them ran deep. She sighed. The sooner they arrived home and got Maria the help she needed, the better.