Never Let Go

Chapter 8- I Don't Know

~*Ashley’s Point Of View*~

"You’re pretty good friends with Amanda right?" I asked Erik later that night, after the reception.

"Yeah, we’re pretty close."

"Does she ever talk about me, or getting back together with me?"

"Sometimes. Why?"

"I’m miserable without her. Today just made me realize that even more."

"Then tell her. I mean what’s the worst that could happen?"

"She could turn me down. I mean what if she says that it’s just over for good. That’s it. I had my chances and I blew them."

"You love her right."

"Of course."

"Then shouldn’t that be worth the risk of a broken heart. She put her heart on the line so many times with you and you broke three times Ash. Shouldn’t you be willing to do the same?"

"I guess. I’m just so scared. It hurt so much the last time we broke up, I don’t think that I could handle having my heart broken again."

"The way I see it, you ultimately have two choices. You can either tell her that you love her and have the possibility of getting back together, or you can not tell her and never know how she really feels or if there was another chance for you two. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose here Ash."

~*Amanda’s Point Of View*~

"Jake? Jake, sweetie, its 7:00, we need to get up."

"Five more minutes mom."

"Jake c’mon, get up, and I’m not you’re mom." I said shaking his shoulder. He ignored me and rolled over, pushing me off the couch as he did so.

"Don’t want to cooperate? Fine with me." I rolled Jacob over so that he was lying on his back. I straddled his waist and then leaned down to kiss him. I pressed my lips against his and his eyes immediately shot open. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. I pulled away and started laughing hysterically.

"Don’t laugh."

"Why? Your expression was so priceless." I managed in-between laughs.

" That wasn’t funny and since when do you wake people up like that?"

"Since you wouldn’t wake up and I felt like it. Now get up. We have to take Steph and Andy to the airport at 7:30 and it’s already…7:15" I said looking at the clock.

"So, We’ve still got time."

"I still have to get Aurora and eat something and ok maybe we do have time but that’s besides the point cause you need to get up anyways."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't. You love me. Now get your but up."

"Yes ma'am."

"Shut up." I ran up the stairs to get Aurora. I changed her diaper and then fed her, seeing as she was awake by that time. After having fed her I took her downstairs and went into the kitchen where Jake was eating a bowl of cereal.

"You almost done?" I asked as I made sure I had everything for Aurora's "baby bag".

"Yeah." He said standing up and bringing his bowl over to the sink.

"I still have to get my shoes on." I nodded and then followed him out to the living room.

"Will you hold her?" I asked bringing her over to him once he was done with his shoes.

"Sure." I gently placed Aurora in his arms and then walked out the front door, Jake right behind me.

"Why don't you take her down to the car and get her settled and I'll make sure Steph and Andy are ready." He nodded and took my keys from me once I had the front door locked.

I walked over to Steph and Andy's and knocked on the door. It opened a few moments later.

"Are you guys about ready?" I asked Andy.

"Yeah. Just let me go get Steph and our stuff and we'll be ready to go." I nodded and waited outside the partially open door for him to get Steph and the luggage.

"Hey Amanda." Stephanie said as she came to the door.

"Andy will be out in a minute with the luggage. Why don't we head down to the car."

"Ok." As we walked over to the elevator Andy came out of the apartment carrying two suitcases. He locked the door and then headed over to where we were waiting for the elevator.

~*Ashley's Point Of View*~

.::10:00::.

"Has anyone seen Jake?" I asked as I walked into the living room.

"Nope. The last time I saw him was last night while you were dancing with Amanda." Dan said as I sat down on the couch.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I didn't see Manda after the two of you were done dancing either. Do you think they left together?" Trevor asked.

"You don’t think that they..." I said trailing off. The thought of even finishing that sentence made me sick.

"I don't think so. Him and Janie just went on a break and he's still upset over that. Not to mention the fact that Amanda's still hung up on you." Erik answered.

"Well, I hope they didn't. But if he wasn’t with her, then where the hell was he?"

"Maybe he went to see Janie."

"Maybe."

~*Jacob's Point Of View*~

.::10:30::.

I was so confused about things right now. Amanda was taking me back to my house, we just left the airport. I watched as Amanda drove and silently sang along to 'All or Nothing', which was currently playing on the radio. I found myself increasingly attracted to her.

When I broke up with her last year it hadn't taken long for me to get over her. Then again I immediately went from my relationship with Manda to my relationship with Janie. Who knows, I certainly didn't. I don't know why I was all of a sudden so enraptured by her. I certainly wasn't last night. Last night I was thinking about the possibility of proposing to Janie. None of it made sense to me.

"Do you want to go to the park?" She asked, breaking me away from my thoughts. "Or do you have something to do today?"

"Nope, we have today off. Just let me call the guys." I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and dialed the number at the house.

"Hello?" Erik asked when he picked up the phone.

"Hey Erik, its Jacob. I was just calling to let you know that I was with Manda and that I probably won't be home until sometime tonight."

"Ok. See ya later."

"Bye"

~*Ashley's Point Of View*~

"Was that Jake?" I asked when Erik hung up.

"Yeah."

"Where is he?"

"He's with Amanda and he said that he won't be home until later tonight. That doesn't mean that they slept together though so don't go jumping to conclusions."

"I won't."

"Seriously Ash. Don't "

"I won't." I said, getting up from the couch as I did so. I ran up the stairs to my room and slammed the door behind me.

I went over to my stereo and turned it on. 'Don't Wanna Miss A Thing' was playing. Figures that it would be.

I walked over to my bed and lie down.

I was so confused. Part of me thought that I should take Erik's advice and tell her that I love her, but what if her and Jacob were back together, then what? Should I still tell her, or should I keep my feelings to myself. What about Alison? No, there was no question where she was concerned. I was breaking up with her. Then there's Shelli who, although isn't directly part of my life, always seems to have a nagging part in it.

~*Erik's Point Of View*~

"Do you think that they slept together?" Dan asked once Ashley had slammed his door.

"I think that Manda is still in love with Ash and that Janie and Jacob just broke up and he's still in love with her. I also think that they’re both lonely and might look for comfort in eachother."

"Well that really cleared things up." Trevor stated.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what to tell you. About the only thing I know for sure is that Amanda is still in love with Ash and Jake is still in love with Janie."

" So they could've slept together?" Dan asked.

"They could've done a million and one different things last night. All we know for sure is that, whatever they did, they did it together."

~*Jacob's Point Of View*~

.::8:00::.

"Walk us up?" she asked after she'd parked her car.

"Sure. I'll get Aurora ok?" She nodded and got out of the car. I got out of the passenger seat and then moved it forward so I could get aurora from her car seat in the middle of the back seat.

Aurora was asleep so I tried to be as careful as possible so that I wouldn't wake her.

Once aurora was out of the car I locked the door and closed it.

I walked over to the door of the building where Amanda was waiting and took her hand in my free hand. We walked over to the elevator and up to the floor her apartment was on. Once we reached her floor we went over to her door. She unlocked the door and turned on the lights as we walked in. I closed the door behind me and then followed Amanda upstairs.

I gently placed Aurora in her crib while Amanda turned on the baby monitor.

" Do you want to watch a movie" She asked once we were downstairs.

"Sure." I went over and sat down on the couch. She put 'Dragon Fly' in and then came over and sat down on the couch.

Somewhere near the middle of the movie she had fallen asleep with her head in my lap. I shook her gently to try and wake her up. However, despite my efforts, I failed. She simply curled up into a ball and snuggled closer to me.

Rather than attempting to wake her up again, I gently got up from the couch and then picked her up. I carried her up to her room, being careful not to wake her and then put her in her bed.

As I was pulling the covers up she woke up.

"Jake?"

"Yeah Manda?"

"I wasn't sure if it was you or not."

"Its me."

"Did I fall asleep during the movie?"

"Yeah."

"Are you leaving?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Will you stay with me tonight? Just hold me? I don’t want to be alone."

"Sure."

"I'm gonna go change. Feel free to sleep how you normally do ok?" I nodded and she left to go change.

I stripped down to my boxers and then got under the covers while I waited for her to come back.

"Isn't that mine?" I asked as she came out of the bathroom wearing just a large t-shirt.

"Yeah. It's the one you let me borrow when I you and I first started going out in high school."

"I'm surprised that you still have it."

"It's one of my favorite shirts. It's so comfy." She said as she turned on her stereo.

"What song is this?" I asked as unfamiliar chords floated through the air.

"Its called 'I Don't Know'. The song is by Hanson."

"Hanson?" I asked with a bit of a smirk.

"I didn't think that you even listen to them anymore."

'Well, I do. This happens to be one of my favorite songs thankyouverymuch." She stated matter of factly before jumping on the bed and landing nearly, completely on top of me.

Her face was a mere two inches away from mine so I decided to take a risk.

I lifted my head some and pressed my lips to hers.

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