Never Let Go

Chapter 12- Best Days Of My Life

~*Amanda's Point Of View*~

"Is he ok? He's ok right? Please, god, tell me he's ok."

"His car was t-boned. He was going through the intersection when a huge truck ran a red light. It hit the diver's side. They did surgery on him as soon as he arrived at the hospital but he's still in critical condition. The doctor said that it might be a good idea to come down to the hospital to say our good-byes. It's all up to Ashley now, whether or not he pulls through."

"No. Oh god, no." I sobbed, completely breaking down into tears.

"Are you guys already at the hospital?" I asked, trying to calm myself down.

"Yeah."

"I'll be down there as soon as I can."

"Ok." I hung up the phone and then ran to get Aurora. I picked her up and went next door to Steph's and Andy's.

"Amanda? What happened?" Stephanie asked as she answered the door.

"Trevor called. Ashley was in a car accident. The doctors say that's its all up to him now. I can't lose him Steph I can't." I said as I began to sob again.

"Do you want me to drive you down to the hospital?" Andy asked.

"Please? I don't think that I could drive right now. Steph will you watch Aurora for me?"

"Of course. Call me when you find out how he is. Call me if you need me to come down there." Steph now also had tears streaming down her cheeks.

I nodded and gave her a hug. She gently took Aurora from me and then went inside their apartment. Andy and I headed out to his car.

The entire ride to the hospital was filled only with the sound of my wracking sobs.

When we finally made it to the hospital I jumped out of the car before it had even stopped moving and ran inside. I ran up to the ICU where all of the other guys were.

"Ca-can I see him?" I asked as I walked over to the guys.

"Yeah, come on. I'll take you to his room." Jake said standing up. He took my hand and lead me down a hallway and stopped infront of room 205.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" I shook my head 'no' and then opened the door.

After closing the door behind me I walked over to his bed, sitting down in the chair next to it.

What I saw made me want to throw up. He was bruised and cut all over. He had cuts all over his face, dried blood in his hair and on other places.

I carefully took his hand in mine and then laid my head down on the bead, turned so that it was facing Ashley. He was sleeping, Jake had told me on the way to his room.

"What's forever if you're gone? Give me the strength to carry on..." I began to sing.

"Do you remember that song Ash? Do you remember coming over to my house at 3:00 in the morning just to sing me that song? Do you remember sneaking into my room almost every single night and then sneaking out at dawn? I remember the first time you did that. It was the last night of summer before the first day of ninth grade. You were so scared. You were afraid that you weren't gonna have any friends. I remember telling you that that was impossible because you'd always have me. I'd always be your friend. Do you remember all of the times that we played house when we little? Or when we pretended to get married? You looked so cute. Do you remember the first time you told me that you really loved me? It was in the spring of 9^th grade. We were walking to IHOP like we always did. You stopped all of a sudden and made me look at you. I thought that you were acting strange, then without any sort of warning you kissed me. I asked you why and you said 'I Love You'. That was the happiest moment in my life. I had loved you for so long, been in love with you for so long. I was so happy that you felt the same. I'm still in love with you Ash. I love you so much. I'm so sorry about everything. I don't want to lose you Ash. I can't lose you. I can't live without you. I need you Ash. Please don't leave me. Please?" I begged as I began to sob. I turned my head so that my eyes were resting on my arm.

I felt something move on my hand. When I looked over I saw Ashley's thumb stroking my hand in a comforting manner.

"Please, don't cry baby."

"Ashley?" I asked as I looked up at him.

"I hate to see you cry." He brought his thumb up to my face, my hand still in his, and wiped away my tears.

"I love you so much Ashley. I can't lose you. I'm so sorry for everything. I don't care that you have a son. Shelli and Justin can move in I don't care. Just please don't leave me. Please."

Ashley smiled a bit and squeezed my hand.

"I'm not Justin's father. Dr. Richardson called today and told me. That's what I was coming to tell you when I was hit. Did you hear the song?" I nodded and began crying again.

"That meant more to me than you will ever know." He smiled.

"Can I kiss you?" He chuckled but nodded nonetheless.

I stood up enough so that I was eye level with him and then I leaned in and kissed him softly. I pulled away a moment or so later and sat back down.

There was a knock at the door followed by a doctor coming in.

"Ahh, I see that you finally woke up. How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok. I'll be ok."

"I hope so."

"What do you mean?"

"If you pull through tonight then I'd say that you'll be just fine."

"There's a chance that I won't make it?"

"Yes, you were hit by a very large truck. You had internal bleeding, which fortunately we were able to stop, but that doesn't mean that it won't start again and if it does then you aren't gonna make it. I understand that that sounds a bit harsh, but it’s the truth. I just wanted to give you a fair warning. That's all. For the time being though, assume that you're going to live and have as much fun as possible tonight. We have monitors. We'll keep watch over you incase something goes wrong." With that said the doctor smiled and left.

We reminisced and joked about our past well into the night. The guys came and went. They mostly came just to see how he was. They had all said, 'good-bye' just in case. I probably cried the hardest while everyone was saying good-bye. All of the guys had cries, Ashley probably the hardest.

I really hope that the asshole that hit Ashley rots in hell or at least prison.

"Ashley are you ok?" I asked as he began coughing. He shook his head 'no' and then began coughing up blood. I jumped out of my chair and ran out of the room.

"Someone get a doctor!! Hurry, he's coughing up blood!!" I shouted frantically out in the hall.

A nurse and doctor ran towards me and pushed me aside as they went into his room.

A few moments later they rolled him out of his room and were quickly headed in the direction of the emergency room.

"I LOVE YOU!!" I shouted after them, hoping he had heard. I hung my head sullenly and went over to where the other guys were sitting. Andy had gone home earlier. I sat down next to Jake on the couch and he pulled me into a tight hug. I sobbed into his chest and felt his tears falling on my head.

Ashley had to make it. He just had too.

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Chapter 13- How Do I?