More Than Anything

Chapter 5- Tears In Heaven

"So how has the tour been?"

"It was better when you were here."

"I've missed you too."

"So, uh, what's up? What'd you have to tell me?" I sighed and looked down. I wasn't looking forward to telling him.

"How would you feel about, after the tour, becoming Aurora's primary guardian, at least for a little while?"

"Huh?"

"How would you like to be Aurora's full time parent for a while, after you guys get back from the tour?"

"What? Amanda, what's going on?"

"Well, you see, its just that... and the doctor said..."

"What? Amanda, what it is?" He said in a begging tone.

"I went to see the doctor when I got back to LA. You kept saying that I should go see a doctor because there might be something wrong with me. Well, eventually that got to me, so when I got home I went to the doctor and-"

"Is there something wrong? Are you gonna be ok?"

"I don't know right now. All the doctor knew was that there was something wrong with me. They haven't been able to diagnose me yet. My doctor wants to hospitalize me when I get back to Redding and do more tests to see if they can find out what's wrong."

"How long are you going to be in the hospital?"

"A week."

"How long are you staying with us?"

"I planned to stay a week, but I can leave before then if you want me to."

"No, that's fine, a week is fine. Where is Aurora going to go while you're in the hospital."

"You're mom is going to watch her for me. So basically she's taking care of her for the next two weeks."

"Do they think that it's fatal?" I looked away from him and nodded slowly, a few tears slipping down my cheeks.

"So is this week like a good-bye or something?" He asked, now sounding rather choked up himself.

I nodded again, not being able to meet his gaze. He put his finger under my chin and turned my face so that I was looking at him. I noticed that his cheeks weren't dry either.

"It's not good-bye yet though. We have this week and who knows how many more weeks in the future to be together. Let's just be together as much as possible this week and not concentrate on the bad stuff ok?" I nodded and smiled slightly.

He smiled back and pulled me into a hug. I held on tight as I cried. I knew that he was crying too. I could feel his tears falling in huge drops onto my neck.

Somehow we managed to lay down during our sob-fest and fell asleep in eachother's' arms.

~*Jacob's Point Of View*~

Amanda had been in Ashley's room for around four hours now. I had told the other guys that she was here and she had something important to tell Ashley. We were all dying from curiosity. I suppose that's how I found myself infront of his room, raising my hand to knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I heard Ashley's groggy voice ask after I had knocked.

"Jacob." I replied simply.

"Just a second." He shouted. I heard him stumble around a bit before opening the door.

"What'd she have to tell you?" I asked the second he opened the door.

Tears formed in his eyes and he looked away before looking back at me.

"She's sick."

"Well, she'll get better right?"

"I don't know." He replied softly, shaking his head as he did so.

"Ashley? Who's at the door?" I heard Amanda ask.

"Jacob." Ashley replied, his voice thick with tears.

"Jacob, will you come here. There's something I need to tell you." I heard her shout. I nervously walked in his room and then went over and sat on the bed where she was lying.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"I'm sick. In a week, when I go back to Redding, they're going to hospitalize me. The doctors don't know what's wrong and they want to do more extensive research." She said, rolling her eyes at the last part.

"Do they think it's fatal or something." She nodded.

"They said that it was more than likely going to be terminal. I asked him to tell me flat out what my chances were, so he told me."

"So this is like what, good-bye?" I asked, tears coming to my eyes.

"More or less. I mean he's not 100% sure that I'm going to die, he just said that it looks like I'm going to."

"Are you going to tell the rest of the guys?" She nodded.

"Yeah, could you go get them and bring them in here?" I nodded and left the room.

~*Ashley's Point Of View*~

I had started crying again. I didn't want to lose her. She was my everything; I wasn't ready to say good-bye.

"Please don't cry." She said pulling me into a hug.

"I'm not going anywhere yet. They aren't even sure what it is yet."

"But they think it's fatal. I can't lose you Amanda. I can't, I'm sorry but I just can't."

"You'll never lose me Ash. Even if I'm not here physically, I'll always be with you. I'll be in your heart."

"It just hurts so much to know that I could lose you forever." She pulled me closer and allowed me to sob on her shoulder.

"What's up?" Dan asked as he, Trevor, Erik and Jacob walked into the room.

" I'm sick. In a week, when I go back to Redding, they're going to hospitalize me. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me yet so they want to do more tests."

"You're sick? Like really sick?" Erik asked coming over and sitting at the end of the bed.

"Yeah. The doctor thinks that it's more than likely going to be terminal so the week that I'm here is more like a good-bye."

"Good-bye?" Trevor asked, tears coming to his eyes. Amanda nodded, tears now in her eyes as well.

"I don't want this to be a sad week though. If this really is the last time I see you guys, then I want happy memories." She replied, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I know that we don't normally do this, and this will probably be the only time that we ever sing this song in a performance, but tonight I have a special song to sing. I love you Amanda."

(Ashley)

The loneliness of nights alone

the search for strength to carry on

my every hope has seemed to die

my eyes had no more tears to cry

then like the sun shining up above

you surrounded me with your endless love

Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me

You are my everything

Nothing your love won't bring

My life is yours alone

The only love I've ever known

Your spirit pulls me through

When nothing else will do

Every night I pray

On bended knee

That you will always be

My everything

(Trevor)

Now all my hopes and all my dreams

are suddenly reality

you've opened up my heart to feel

a kind of love that's truly real

(Ashley)

a guiding light that'll never fade

there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade

for the love you give it won't let go

I hope you'll always know

(Ash & Trev)

You are my everything

Nothing your love won't bring

My life is yours alone

The only love I've ever known

Your spirit pulls me through

When nothing else will do

Every night I pray

On bended knee

That you will always be

My everything

(Erik)

You're the breath of life in me

the only one that sets me free

and you have made my soul complete

for all time (for all time)

(all of the guys)(just Ash sings the lyrics in the parenthesis)

You are my everything (you are my everything)

Nothing your love won't bring (nothing your love won't bring)

My life is yours alone (alone)

The only love I've ever known

Your spirit pulls me through (your spirit pulls me through)

When nothing else will do (when nothing else will do)

Every night I pray (I pray)

On bended knee (on my knee)

That you will always be

be my everything

You are my everything

Nothing your love won't bring

My life is yours alone

The only love I've ever known

Your spirit pulls me through

When nothing else will do

Every night I pray on bended knee

That you will always be

My everything

(Ashley)

[almost spoken:] Every night I pray

down on bended knee

that you will always be

my everything

oh my everything

~*Amanda's Point Of View*~

I was standing right in front of the stage, infront of the guarding barriers. I had tears streaming down my face. Ashley had written many songs for me in the past, but that one by far, had meant the most to me.

I walked backstage to wait for the guys. The song that Ashley sang me was the last song of the show.

The guys came back a few minutes later. I still had tears in my eyes when I saw Ashley. I ran over to him and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

~*Ashley's Point Of View*~

"I love you so much." She whispered through her sobs into my ear.

" I love you to Amanda."

"That song meant so much to me." She pulled back a little to look at me.

I smiled at her and then she leaned in and kissed me. I smiled against her lips and kissed her back.

**Musical credit ggoes to 98 degrees for the song 'My everything'**

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